Saint or Sinner

I hope these words might help you in your struggle for inner peace. They reflect an experience which I recorded immediately following and these words remain virtually unedited. I need, at times, to retrace my steps to this special moment in my life.

It's hard for me to talk about what happened last night. I did some surfing and was up past midnight reading. Now I understand about that song Broken Wings. The reason I couldn't grasp it before was that I had not 'heard the voices sing'. Last night I heard the voices sing with my inner ear. I found an allegory of a spiritual journey. The journey was mine. I'm not sure what enlightenment is. But something happened. I was drawn into the story and the story into me. It gave me so much peace and sense of purpose. But there was nothing strange about it. It was like coming home to my true being and everything on the outside fell away like dirty rags. I was pure. I have spent much of today in reflection of who I really am without the shell, the mask, without the fear, anger, guilt, without the need to be somebody and have the world take note. I was working so hard on ME to be a better person. To fix myself. It really can't be done. That sinful lustful nature will take right back over until there is a new man in there to live this life in the flesh. Now I know for certainty that love is the only thing that can cleanse us and make us pure and acceptable to each other. Oh, that doesn't mean that I can just love someone and bam, they change. A person has to be truly ready for this. But this experience freed me from so many questions. A person cannot be pure until he fuses with love. Yet when we do not exist in our pure form, we reject the light. We have to - only the pure one can operate in it. That rejection comes in the form of denial. And guess what is the most difficult thing on earth to find? Denial. It's simple really. Someone has to keep driving the bus. Saint or sinner, someone has to keep driving the bus. But the soul not yet fully matured cannot do it. No matter how hard it tries. But when the time comes, it comes! It's an arrival after a very long journey and all I could think of was, Dang! I'm glad I didn't quit and I'm glad they (those great souls) didn't give up on me! I finally made it! No Olympian ever felt better. Oh, and that sinner woman got up, said, 'Thank God, I was so tired!' and she took a back seat and rubbed her feet! She didn't have to be get off the bus or anything. She is me - and was doing what she had to do in the only world she knew in the only way she knew how. I didn't lose her; I absorbed her. And I thought that was pretty good news, too. We both were happy. And then I heard the voices of a thousand souls singing, those who had made this journey. Of course, that beautiful allegory I read has now been reduced to a bus ride, but it's still the same truth. What really matters is that now I know I can go on. I am what is referred to as whole. The saint and the sinner are one. No longer at war. What else did I learn? That if my soul is from that pure seed, all souls are pure. Buried in this body of flesh, lying sometimes dormant, sometimes writhing in agony, sometimes growing. Such a tiny seed with so much potential, which upon maturity will transform even this body. Yes, I abhor the masks and the shells and the spiteful attitudes and the harm done because of them. But I can never again hate another soul or fear another man. Now I see.

There are tears of fears
and there are tears of release
there are tears of joy

and at last,
there is Peace!

This experience came while reading Echoes of the Soul by Daniel

...if you wish to read Echos of the Soul in it's entirety, please set aside some quiet time and visit this very special site

Daniel - The Prophets Candle

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