Alone

I miss the love I felt for you and you alone I can't seem to switch tracks on this run-away train I chose to love you for all the wrong reasons and I don't regret that I chose to leave you for all the right reasons I don't regret that either It's just hard No one can take your place now (not even you) in my sad and empty heart Like a gambler heady with emotion I put everything I owned into my relationship with you I lost everything In addition to the incalculable loss, I felt like a fool I have scraped up the pieces of myself and tried to build a new life In between hurting and forgiving and lashing out I've been moving on Alone I have mastered being alone but with all its peace and stability and for all the supporting rationale it's still alone The waves crash over me sometimes without warning Yet as powerful as that deathroll of lonliness is I know that I will resurface time and time again to the sweet air of freedom Someday I will prove loneliness the myth of maniacal man whose avoidance creates the depths of madness and forces us to choose unsuitabe and unworthy mates and lie, lie, lie so that we may experience that sweet release and renewal called love Too hungry to wait, too desperate to discriminate we rush in and all but die trying to escape love's demand for continuance return to irma's index The beautiful music playing is Les Cloches de Geneve by Franz Listz sequenced by the talented Robert Finley.