My Story
I wasn't really planning on telling this because it is very painful, but
some of my best friends on the net suggested that I should because it might
help some people deal with their problems, and I had to agree with them
about that. So, here it is. On Sunday, April 26, I was at my high school
just playing around alone on the basketball courts outside my school, when
a group of guys from my school walked up. Apparently, they saw my homepage
on the net when they were just surfing and they found out that I was bi.
They jumped me and began punching and kicking me. Then, they threw me up
against a brick wall and began beating my head into the wall. After that,
I don't remember much of anything but what I was told and what I have
guessed about, but I'll tell you what I do remember and what I can pretty
much guess about. After I fell to the ground semi-conscious, they began
kicking me in the stomach and chest. I think that they even kicked me in
the face, but I can't be sure. A woman who lives near the school saw what
was happening and called the police. The police got there and as far as I
know, the guys who were beating me all ran. I vaguely remember being
put into the ambulance and the ride to the hospital. When I really
re-gained consciousness, I was in a hospital bed and my mom was sitting
next to me. I really didn't know what was going on and she told me alot of
what had happened after I had been knocked unconscious. I just couldn't
believe that some guys that I had thought were at least, pretty good friends
would have turned on me and done what obviously they did. Anyway, we are
pressing charges, but because they are 16 and 17 year olds, they are minors
and will probably only get a slap on the wrist, or probation at the max.
The only thing I can do is just rest and try to recover from the concussion,
cuts and bruises, and the two broken ribs that they gave me. I know that
they will heal and my family has been very supportive along with all my
friends on ICQ, mIRC, and other various chat rooms and Email penpals. I
just want to say thank you to all you guys, you know who you are. I don't
think that I could have gotten through this without you guys. I'll love
you guys forever. I couldn't ask for better friends!!
I started to quote some lyrics from Hanson's "Weird", but I thought about
another song that holds alot of meaning for me. If any of you reading this
like country music, you'll probably know of this song. It's by Tim McGraw,
and it's called "One Of These Days". Here's the first verse:
I used to chase that boy home from school,
I called him freckle-faced, red-headed fool,
He was different, he wasn't cool like me,
And sticks and stones didn't break any bones,
but we never left well enough alone,
and one day, he ran away from home, you see,
and I passed him as he walked away,
and in his eyes, I heard him say:
One of these days, you're going to love me,
You'll sit down by yourself and think
about the times you pushed and shoved me
and what good friends we might have been
and then you're going to sigh a little,
and maybe even cry a little but,
one of these days, you're going to love me.
Every time I hear that song, I think about all the people who have ever
pushed me around or teased me and it really makes me think. One of these
days.... Maybe it will happen and maybe it won't, but I know that I have
become a better person in spite of all those people out there who ever
treated me like a nobody. Maybe one day, they'll know what it feels like
and feel sorry for it. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be at 100% again soon. I'll
try to put some updates on this page every once in a while and let you all
know how I'm doing. Until then......
UPDATE
To everyone who has sent me messages of concern and well wishes, thank you. You have all been sources of strength for me. It has taken me a long time and alot of work to make it as far as I am, but I am happy to say that I have made a full recovery. I do have one scar on my face, but as far as I'm concerned, that is totally superficial and I don't see any importance in it. Its just a reminder of a bad and in a way a good experience in my life. It was bad in that I was attacked and humiliated and almost killed, but it was good in that I learned to respect myself in a way that I never have before. If anyone is reading this and is thinking about coming out, take it from me, it can be trying at times but believe me, you'll feel better about yourself, I know I did. Of course, you have to make the decision for yourself, and you have to make the decision that's right for you, all I can tell you is what it was like for me. Mine of course was a bad case, and in most cases, its not nearly as bad for most people to come out, but sometimes it can be just as bad. If anyone is thinking about coming out and would like to talk to me or you need some advice, please, don't hesitate to Email me or message me on ICQ and I would be happy to help however I can. Again, thank you to all my friends who have written to me words of concern. You have all been rays of light in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
Email: rawhite_17@hotmail.com
