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A young blonde went to her doctor
complaining of pain.
Why does a Blonde keep empty
beer bottles in her fridge? They are for
What did the Blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant? "I wonder
Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written
on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee
breaks? It takes too long to retrain
What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes at a cross-roads.
Why did 18 Blondes go to the
R-rated movie? Because they heard that
Three Blondes were driving to
Disneyland. After being in the car for
What did the Blonde say when
she opened the box of Cheerios? Oh look,
How do you confuse a Blonde?
Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to
Why was the Blonde upset when
she got her Driver's License? Because shegot an F in sex.
Two blondes were in a parking
lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They
tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with
the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend
said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
A young blonde woman is distraught
because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun
shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband
in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her
own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not
to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut
up...you're next!"
Why did the blonde scale the
chain-link fence?
What to you call a basement full
of blondes?
Q: Did you hear about the new
blonde paint?
Hear about the blonde that got
an AM radio?
What happened to the blonde ice
hockey team?
Why did the blonde stare at frozen
orange juice?
Q: What's a blonde's favorite
nursery rhyme?
What is the difference between
a blonde and a washing machine?
You can drop your load in a washing
machine and it
Q: What is the difference between
a blonde and an inflatable doll?
Q: Why don't they let Blondes
swim in the ocean?
Q: What did the blonde customer
say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
Two blondes are walking down
the street. One blonde finds a little mirror,
The blondes fight back...
1. What's black and blue and
brown and laying in a ditch ?
Three Blondes are stuck on a
deserted island, when one of them finds a
A Blonde walks up to a Coke machine
and puts in a coin. Out pops a
Unfortunately, the young man
fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool
of
The blonde showed up for the
date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked
The blonde, however, wondering
what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his
Two blondes were remodeling a
house. One was busy nailing down
The other blonde, figuring this
was worth looking into, asked, "why
The first blonde explained, "If
I pull a nail out of my pouch and
The second blonde got completely
pissed off and yelled, "You STUPID
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting
next to each other on a long flight from
The lawyer persists and explains
that the game is really easy and a lot of
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated,
says, "Okay, if you don't know the
This catches the blonde's attention
and, figuring that there will be no
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to
Now, it's the blonde's turn.
She asks the lawyer "What goes up a hill with
After over an hour, he wakes
the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde
The lawyer, who is more than
a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks,
Without a word, the blonde reaches
into her purse, hands the lawyer $5,
A blonde was complaining to a
friend about constantly being called a
The next party the blonde goes
to, someone starts making dumb blonde
A general builder was speaking
with a woman about having her house
Links Around My Site....
"Where are you hurting?" asked
the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt
all over", said the woman. "What do you
mean, all over?" asked the doctor,
"be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right
knee with her index finger and yelled,
"Ow, that hurts." Then she touched
her left cheek and again yelled,
"Ouch! That hurts, too." Then
she touched her right earlobe, "Ow,
even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully
for a moment and asked, "Are
you a natural blonde?"
"Why, yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor,
"You have a broken finger."
those who don't drink!
if it's mine?"
them.
under 17 was not admitted.
four hours, they finally saw
a sign it said "Disneyland left" so they
turned around and went home.
daddy..... doughnut seeds.
put them in alphabetical order.
Two blondes were walking through
the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look
like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the
train hit them.
To see what was on the other
side.
A whine cellar.
A: It's not real bright, but
it's cheap, and spreads easy.
It took her a month to realize
she could play it at night.
They drowned in Spring training.
Because it said "concentrate."
A: Humpme Dumpme.
won't follow you around for
a week.
A: About 2 cans of hair spray
A: Because they can't get the
smell out of the tuna.
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute.
What did you name the other one ?"
looks in it, again, and again.
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know
I've seen this face before!"
"Give it to me", says the other
blonde. She looks in the mirror and says,
"Of course, you silly bitch!
It's me!!"
A brunette who's told too many
blonde jokes.
2. What do you call going on
a blind date with a brunette ?
Brown-bagging it.
3. What's the real reason a
brunette keeps her figure ?
No one else wants it.
4. Why are so many blonde jokes
one-liners ?
So brunettes can remember them.
5. What do you call a brunette
in a room full of blondes ?
Invisible.
6. What is the difference between
a brunette and garbage ?
Garbage gets taken out at least
once a week.
7. What's a brunette's mating
call ?
" Has the blonde left yet ?
"
8. What did the brunette say
after having sex ?
" Are you guys all on the same
team ? "
9. Why don't brunettes make
good cattle ranchers ?
Because they can't keep their
calves together.
10. What do you do if a brunette
throws a hand grenade at you ?
Pull the pin and throw it back
at her.
11. What goes screech-vroom,
screech-vroom ?
That's a brunette driving through
a flashing red light.
12. What's the difference between
a brunette and a 747 jet ?
Some men have never been in
a 747.
13. How does a brunette turn
on the light after sex ?
She opens the car door.
lamp on the beach. She picks
it up and gives it a little rub and a genie
pops out. The genie looks at
the three Blondes and says, "I normally
give three wishes, but since
there are three of you, I will grant each
of you one wish." Well, the
first one is tired of being on the island,
so she wishes to go back home.
POOF!! She disappears. The second one
said she too is tired of the
island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She
too disappears. The genie then
turns to the last Blonde and asks her
what her wish is. "Gee," she
says, "I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I
wish my friends were still here
..."
coke. The blonde looks amazed
and runs away to get some more coins. She
returns and starts feeding the
machine madly and of course the machine
keeps feeding out drinks. Another
person walks up behind the blonde and
watches her antics for a few
minutes before stopping and asking if
someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her
face, "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
A certain young man finally
won a date with the blonde female of somewhat questionable morals that
lived in his apartment complex.
To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his
apartment building in order
to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the
nude.
the trade". But, the young man
was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his
manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
dinner, after which they went
into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the
young man's sunburn started
acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured
a all, cool glass of milk. He
then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate
relief of his pain.
johnson immersed in a glass
of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you guys
load those things!
ssome wood. She would reach
into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either
toss it over her shoulder or
nail it in.
are you throwing those nails
away?"
it's pointing TOWARD me I throw
it away cause it's defective. If it's
pointed toward the HOUSE, then
I nail it in!"
SHIT!!! The nails pointed towards
you aren't defective! They're for the
OTHER side of the house!!!"
LA to NY. The lawyer leans over
to her and asks if she would like to play
a fun game. The blonde just
wants to take a nap, so she politely
declines and rolls over to the
window to catch a few winks.
fun. He explains "I ask you
a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."
Again, she politely declines
and tries to get some sleep.
answer you pay me $5, and if
I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!"
figuring that since she is a
blonde that he will easily win the match.
end to this torment unless she
plays, agrees to the game.
the moon?" The blonde doesn't
say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls
out a five-dollar bill and hands
it to the lawyer.
three legs, and comes down with
four?" The lawyer looks at her with a
puzzled look. He takes out his
laptop computer and searches all his
references. He taps into the
Airphone with his modem and searches the
Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his
coworkers and friends he knows.
All to no avail.
politely takes the $50 and turns
away to get back to sleep.
"Well, so what IS the answer!?"
and goes back to sleep.
dumb blonde. The friend says,
"Do something to prove them wrong! Why don't
you learn all the state capitals
or something?" The blonde thinks this is a
great idea, and holes up for
two weeks studying.
comments. The blonde gets all
indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb
blonde. In fact, I can name
ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't
believe her. "Try me!" He says
"Okay--what's the Capital of Montana?"
The blonde tosses her hair in
triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
repainted. In the first room
she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down
and went to the window,
opened it, and yelled out "GREEN
SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told
the painter she would like it painted in a
soft yellow.He wrote his on
his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled"GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious
but she said nothing. In the third room
she said she would like it painted
a warm rose color. The painter wrote
this down, walked to the window,
opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why
do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
I'm sorry," came the reply.
"But I have a crew of blondes laying turf
across the street.
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