stuff for the new compu (2nd time since first time it didnt work!!!)
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Genesis ch 2

If you take the 'cool' out of 'school' it becomes 'sh' which it is"

"I know, I know. The prejudices are hard to fight.
It's pretty sad. People don't seem to have a clue, but, on the other hand,
it gives me a chance to explain things to them. I'm not trying to convert them;
I just want them to understand." -Sully Erna

11/07/02: "It's not that I'm lazy, I just don't care." I always have a quote, so, ofcourse,
I had to think of one, so I did.

Godsmack's Sully Erna: "I really don't have that much complaint
about [the album being pulled from Wal-Mart and Kmart]. I mean, it hurts us a little bit,
but you know what, bad publicity isn't always a bad thing. And I don't really think it's that bad
. I just want to reassure the people that this guy that made the complaint was basically saying
that there were Satanic symbols and all these bad words, and blah, blah, blah, but you know
what, ultimately it was me venting emotion. There's no Satanic symbols in there.I don't even
believe in Satan, and there's nothing in there invoking, and there's nothing in there that's
encouraging kids to hurt themselves or anyone else. It's simply my feelings. It's how I felt
going through a relationship, and if I want to say 'f*** you,' I'm gonna say 'f*** you.' You want
to beep it out, go ahead and beep it out,
but I still said 'f*** you.' It's what I went through, and it's about me.
It's not about other people. It's not about suicidal tendencies. It's not about harming anyone
else or having kids harm each other.
There's no subliminal messages. It's me. It's me venting my thoughts
and my emotions at the time of going through some s**tty stuff I went
through. It's freedom of speech. It's a statement.

"If I have something on my mind, I'm going to say it t
he way that I want to say it, because the Constitution
gave us that right. But as far as this guy saying 'Satanic symbols'
and this and that, he's
obviously ignorant enough not to know about my religion or what this
band's involved in, because this band has nothing but good karma
surrounding us. It doesn't bother me in the least bit, and if they want to sticker the record,
so be it.... Sticker it. It doesn't bother me. I'm not afraid of it. The sales went up 16
percent last week, so thank you, whoever you are.



"I heard a quote in the paper a couple weeks ago,
in the local paper in my hometown, where they interviewed this guy, and he said,
'I never intended for them to pull it off the shelves.
I just think it should be stickered properly, and as parents we have
the right to keep an eye on our kids and all that stuff,' and you know what, he's absolutely
right. He has all the right to do that, and if your intent was not to have them pulled, that's
fine also. But the problem's being fixed right now. Hopefully it's going to be back up and
running, because we're making the edits for the Wal-Marts and Kmarts because they won't sell
stickered records, and the mom and pop shops will have stickered records. But what society
doesn't realize [is] that the more you make a stink about something, the more popular
it's going to get, so my way of seeing it is go ahead and bitch about it all you want. You're
going to make me more money.

"They should be concentrating on other bulls**t
like getting crack off the street and stopping wars and stuff.
Don't worry about rock and roll. It's not going to hurt anyone.
I'm tired of people blaming bands for the bulls**t that goes on.
It's not [Marilyn] Manson's fault those f***ing kids got shot in Colorado. It's not the f***ing
Beatles' fault that Charlie Manson used 'Helter Skelter.' It's not Elvis' fault that he shook
his ass on stage and people didn't want to film him from the waist down. It's gonna be there.
It's always gonna be there. You will never get rid of rock and roll music, period."

[Compiled from an interview conducted on June 10 at Ozzfest '99's stop in Holmdel, New Jersey]
The only way we can win the war on terrorism, folks, is to destroy the terror of liberalism and evil that exists inside this Christian Nation. It starts with the children. It starts at home. It might be something as simple as organizing a Harry Potter book burning, or placing your child's hands on a hot stove if you catch them masturbating. It could even be a simple gesture, like shipping your 11-year-old son off to military school, or cutting off part of your daughter's ear for listening to N'Sync. We've got to get back to God, folks! We've got to do it fast, and we don't have time to worry about nonsense like "human rights violations!" Jesus, Please allow us to legally do what you tell us to do in that precious Book your Daddy wrote!

Women Dont Have Souls
Landover Baptist Creation Scientist, Dr. Fred Neiman, announced findings related to his research into the female soul early this week. "The absence of either salvation or condemnation for women finds extensive support in the Word of God." He reported. "Jesus said that the sole reason God created women in the first place was to provide company and service to men (1 Corinthians 11:9), God determined that men would be lonely living alone, so he created women purely to keep men company and serve their needs (Genesis 2:18-22). Women are therefore completely subordinate to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). It stands to reason, though, that once men enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they will be one with God, and will no longer be lonely and in need of mortal companionship. Thus, the reason behind having women will no longer exist. Women, like the members of the animal kingdom, will fall by the wayside."
Dr. Neiman went on to say that, "once men reunite with their maker, they will no longer be burdened with the care of women. After all, women were inferior creations from the start. Women are fond of self-indulgence (Isaiah 32:9-11). They are silly and easily led into error (2 Timothy 3:6). They are subtle and deceitful (Proverbs 7:10; Ecclesiastes 7:26). They are zealous in promoting superstition and idolatry (Jeremiah 7:18; Ezekiel 13:17, 23). And they are active in instigating to iniquity (Numbers 31:15-16; 1 Kings 21:25; Nehemiah 13:26). It was the inherent weakness of women that led them to be deceived by Satan (Genesis 3:1-6; 2 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 2:14). Consequently, women were cursed from the start (Genesis 3:16). There is simply no room in heaven for such flawed and inadequate beings."
Pastor Deacon Fred warned the congregation that there was no reason to be alarmed. "Dr. Neiman's conclusions still need to be formalized," he assured. "I am certain that our team of religious experts will find some way around these Scriptures." Some of the women present were visibly shaken by the report. A teary eyed Sister Taffy Crockett said through choked sobs, "I've heard of colored women not having souls... but me? NO! This is outrageous!"
Head Pastor, Rev. Ebeneezer Smith, had some comforting words for the ladies of Landover. "I personally want to assure all female members of this church that until we examine Dr. Neiman's research to our complete satisfaction, consider yourselves saved."


- KDC
"People ask me what's like to hear our song on the radio.
I don't know, I don't listen to the radio."
"Please Lord, fuck hit records,
just let me have my very own unexplainable rare stomach
disease name after me. And the title of our double album is
'Cobain's Disease.' A rock opera about vomiting gastric juices, being a borderline anorexic,
Auschwitz-grunge boy, with an accompanying home video!"

"I always hated my hair, so now it's going away."
--Billy Joel

My problem with Christianity was they never
allowed you to look into any other religions.
It's like, 'This is the book. This is the way.

Believe it or go to hell.' F--k that. And who knows?
I could be wrong. Maybe when I die I could go to purgatory
and there could be Jesus going, 'See? We tried to tell you
the whole time. You f--ked up, now go to hell.'"

Source-Sully Erna, lead singer of Godsmack,
and a practicer of witchcraft. Rolling Stone, Feb. 17


www.goodrags.com
expage.com/notquitenormal
antimusic.com

Tom Brunchner temporary file
Chapter 1:

"Come on Chelsey, push a little more, you can do it." I told Chelsey, she was having a baby on the pool table. Everyone in the bar, which was about 20 people which is pretty crowed for the place, had their eyes on Chelsey.
"Tom, this hurts so much!" she yelled to me taking another breath. I took her hand. Poor Chelsey, I had no idea what pain she was in. She's only 13, like me, but I'm almost 14 and she just turned 13 a month or so ago.
The little baby came out of Chelsey, they were so small. "It's a girl!" Dan Everson shouted joyfully. Dan's our so called "doctor" but we trust him, even though he owns a bar. Everyone was filled with joy as they watched the newborn make her first movements, she was crying. This was the biggest thing to happen around here in the while, there's nothing to do around here in this 10,000 population town in practically the middle of nowhere.
"Come on, stick with me, stay with me Chelsey!" Dan yelled, almost begged. Chelsey looked like she was dying. She was gasping for air, I squeezed her hand a bit tighter and but my eyes were no focused on my new baby girl.
"You're done, I just need to put in a few stitches. Take it easy, you can stay here for a month but then I can't help you after that. I wish I could but I have my bar to run and I don't want rumors sticking around here too long that there's a 13 year old with her baby girl living here, okay?" Dan told Chelsey.
"Okay Dan." she replied.
"So what's her name Chelsey?" Dan asked her as he started to put the stitches in.
"Ellen Jane Brunchner." she answered.
I smiled, for the first time in a long time I was actually really happy. For once in a long time I had no worries, I was totally happy. I just had a daughter and I'm going to love her for the rest of my life. I'll love Chelsey until the end too, I love both of them with all my heart. I chose the name Ellen. Chelsey and I think it's beautiful, just like Ellen. "Congratulations Tom, you're now a father." It was Jim. Jim's my best friend, he's 18 but there's almost no one my age around here I can relate to but Chelsey. Jim pat me on the back. I couldn't stop smiling, I had a baby girl. I can't get over it, I won't get over it for a while.
The low lights of the bar shined so we could only see Chelsey and the baby, there was a bright light shining on them. I wished Ellen could be born in a hospital but I knew there was no way that that could be possible. Chelsey and I wouldn't have the money first of all, neither of us has money. Chelsey lives under a bridge in the park and I live in an "apartment" smaller than most bathrooms with a heinous man named Paul. Paul would never allow me to have a girlfriend much less a baby. He doesn't want me to be happy, he hates me. We're not even related, the only reason he has custody of me is because he killed my dad three years ago. He told my dad that he would not kill me if my declared him as his stepfather. He did but now I'm miserable.
I never knew my Mom, she died in a car crash when I was one. My dad says she was wonderful, I wish I knew her. My dad never dated nor wanted to date after he lost my mom, he couldn't stand the thought of possibly losing another wife or loving someone to replace my mom. I would never replace Chelsey if she died, she's my one true love.
"Tom, I haven't seen you this happy for a long time." Jim told me.
"That's because I haven't been this happy." I replied.
"Tom, you don't have the money to support a baby, you know you don't."
"I know."
"Then why'd you do it, why'd you have Ellen?"
"I wanted a kid so badly. I wanted someone else to love, to have someone that was part of me and Chelsey."
"You're great Tom, you have lots of love in you."
"Hey Tom, do you want to hold Ellen?" Dan asked me.
"Why wouldn't I?" I answered.
Dan wrapped Ellen in his sweatshirt and handed her to me. I held her in my hands, she was so warm, her skin was so soft. She was crying but the tears were still beautiful. She stopped for a second when Dan handed her to me and smiled, then she started crying again. I kissed her. Her skin was so soft, I handed her back to Chelsey since she started to cry harder. "Well Tom, we had her."
"Yeah and I've never been so happy."
"I've never been in so much pain but it was all worth it. I love you Tom, I love Ellen."
"Yeah, I love you and Ellen more than anything."
"You two sure love each other a lot, don't you?" Dan commented.
"Yeah." I replied.
The next thing I knew a guy with very long, dark black hair and cold, dark eyes. His whole appearance was haunting, he looked like one of the murderers you'd see in a movie waiting in a dark alley. His dissatisfied face made my smile turn right into a grin. He looked angrily at me. "What do you want?" I asked.
He looked me right into the eye. I could barely stand looking at him, he looked like he was going to kill me."You have problems Tom."
" What the fuck!?! Get outta here then if you have a problem with me, no one invited you!" I yelled, I didn't know if yelling at him was right, that could've cost me my life. I hoped he doesn't have a gun because if he does it seems like he'd pull it out on me soon.
"I'm not going to hurt you Tom, I just want to talk to you."
"Who are you?"
"If you must know my name is Eric Landski. Now will you let me talk to you?" "You are right now."
"Alone."
"No! Do you think I'm gonna let you kill me!?!"
"Tom, I already told you I'm not gonna hurt you. Why would I?"
"You're insane, leave Tom alone!" Chelsey yelled.
"Shut up! This is between me and Tom." Eric yelled, the room went silent.
"Okay." I agreed in almost a whisper.
He led me behind the counter to the door that lead upstairs.The only thing upstairs was Dan's office. Dan never let anyone up there without him, never. Did Eric scare Dan that badly? I was shaking, this could be my death.
Eric locked the door and we walked up the stairs. When we got to the top I sat down at the old, black office chair in front of Dan's messy desk. Eric decided to stand even though there was a wooden chair right next to him. "What's wrong with you Tom!?!" he yelled with rage, I just hoped he didn't have a gun.
"What!?!" I yelled back, I was more scared now than mad. Before I was mad, I had a right to be mad. He walked right in the bar, probably just to make me mad, and ruined the happiest day of my life.
"You're thirteen and you're acting like you're twenty-one."
"How do you know me and why are you here?"
"I'm not from here but I've heard a lot about you and Chelsey from my friends."
"Why are you here?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Tom, you don't have money to raise a kid, you know that as well as I do but what do you do? You said 'screw that' and had one anyway. You can't even support yourself much less a baby girl. Ellen's not going to survive living like this Tom, she's going to die growing up like this. Why did you do this to not only you, ellen, Chelsey, and all your friends?"
I didn't know what to say, what he just said was all true. I wanted a baby and I didn't care if I had the money or not, I just wanted one. I answered slowly " I just couldn't wait to grow up, I wanted a baby."
We both sat silent for a moment. "Tom, you have to. We all have to, what makes you the special one that doesn't?"
"I can't wait."
"You've been drinking for a while too, haven't you?"
"Yeah, why? I'm sober now."
"I could tell. Tom, did you rape Chelsey?"
"What!?!"
"Did you rape her?"
"No! I love Chelsey and she loves me and we fucked!"
"You don't love her."
"Yes I do, how do you know!?!"
"You're thirteen, you don't find true love at thirteen. The chance of that is like one in a million."
"Then Chelsey and I are that one!"
"How do you know?"
"Why do you think we don't love each other!?!"
"True love comes with time, you have all your life to find true love."
"I already told you, I can't wait!"
"Tom, everyone wants to be your age again, you'll want to be this age again later too. You'll regret all this later."
"No I won't!"
"Yes you will, Ellen will hate you for this too. She wouldn't want to grow up with crazy teenagers..."
"I'm not crazy, Chelsey's not crazy either!"
"Oh come on Tom, yes you are."
"Stop it!"
"What, you can't take the truth?"
"Just shut up!"
"You can't, can you?"
"Leave me alone. I love Chelsey, I love Ellen, and yes I do wanna be twenty-one. Now go away."
"No Tom, I wanna help you."
"Well you aren't so leave!"
"No! Not yet, not yet.I can help you out, get you money. I can get you a house, I can get you out of living with that maniac. I can help you to, only if you want me to though."
"Why are you really here?"
"To help you."
"What can you do?"
"More than you think."
"Well I don't think you're gonna do shit for me."
"You'll regret it if you don't let me help you Tom, you will. So, what do you think?"
"No."
"Tom, I've come here to bail you out. Don't you know who I am?"
"Yeah, you're Eric something."
"No stupid, I'm Dave!"
"Dave? Dave Nylers?"
"Yeah Tom, don't you remember me?"
"You look so different, your hair."
"You like it?"
"Yeah"
"I can't believe you didn't know who I was, I thought you'd know even with my disguise." Dave use to live here in Briskut, he moved about two years ago. He left before I met Chelsey, two years seemed forever. He use to always help me out, he got me out of everything. He was my best friend, especially after my Dad died. That is, until he moved away. He didn't tell me where he was going or why he was going either. I didn't understand that, he was my best friend. Another thing I didn't understand was why he would leave me. He knew Paul was dangerous and he knew I'd miss him, why didn't he bring me? Dave hasn't talked to me since the day he left, until now that is.
"Why didn't you tell me before who you were?"
"I wanted to see if you could figure out, I thought you'd know."
"I haven't seen you forever it seems."
"Yeah, two years seems forever these days."
"I've been working my ass off for college money for the past two years so I could finally go. Recently had enough money to get through but then I heard about your kid and I had to come down and talk to you."
"Do you mean all that crap you said before? Are you really mad I had Ellen?"
"You're thirteen Tom. Now that you're listening, do you want me to help you or not?"
"Of course Dave."
"Good. You look so different, you're so much taller. You're almost fourteen, I've missed you so much."
"Yeah, I've missed you too."
"I'm so sorry I couldn't be here, I've been getting a bunch of freaky jobs everywhere and I'm taking my first week off in two years."
"I'm glad you came to see me, I thought something might've happened to you. Most people around here think you're dead You haven't called me or anything at all."
"I'm sorry but it's a little risky now. You know, Paul would get mad and everything."
"Yeah, he would. That's okay."
"I'm glad to see you, life's been boring these days."
"Not for me."
"You have a kid Tom, you've gone mad."
"Shut up Dave."
"I'm serious Tom, don't joke around about this."
"Okay, maybe I am mad, you aren't there anymore to fix my life up."
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"So, what are you going to do for me?"
"I've got a house about five house from here, we're gonna drive there. I know this might sound stupid but I'm going to take all the money I've saved up for college and give it to Ellen."
"You can't do that! You've worked hard for that money, it's yours, and you've been saving up forever."
"I want to give it to you Tom, I just need you to okay it."
"I can't do that, it's your money."
"Would you rather Ellen die instead? I don't want her to die, do you?"
"No, but...okay. If you really want to help me, thanks."
"Then it's settled. You realize I'm saving Ellen's life?"
"Yeah, I know."
"What were you thinking Tom, you know better than to go have sex with Chelsey."
"No I don't."
"Well, you should."
"Oh well."
"Oh well? Tom, now you have a baby that you can't support without my help. I was gonna have a baby, I was 19 and didn't know anything. Then she started cheating on me when she was pregnant. She got a new boyfriend and fucked her life up with heroin, she had an abortion. We were together for two years, we were engaged."
"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"
"I didn't want to then."
"What was her name?"
"Sarah. I don't know why she cheated on me, she still liked me, I could tell."
"Maybe she didn't."
"Well, she didn't hate me. I wish I knew where she was."
"Get over her, she's gone."
"Yeah, I guess." he sighed, "Let's go downstairs."
"Okay."
"One thing though."
"What?"
"Don't tell anyone who I am, call me Eric Landski."
"Why?"
"I'll explain it to you later. So will you?"
"Sure."
We walked back downstairs, Chelsey was the first one to yell at Dave, "Get the fuck outta here Eric!"
"It's okay Chels, he's cool. Eric can help us." I replied.
"Why do I think Eric made you say that?" she asked.
"He didn't, trust me Chelsey." I replied.
"What's going on?" Chelsey whispered to me.
"He's gonna get us out of this mess. He's wants to help us."
"Why?"
"He knows me, well, somewhat."
"What are you talking about? This isn't making any sense. Do you know him or not?"
"I can't explain it Chels," I lowered my voice, "At least not now."
Then Dave walked over, "Hi Chelsey."
"Tom, who is he?" Chelsey panicked.
"Your new best friend." Dave replied.
"Tom, tell him to leave!"
"No, trust him." I told her.
"Okay." Chelsey calmed down.
"What can I tell her?"
"Tell her anything you want." Dave replied.
"Okay, Chelsey, this is really Dave Nylers." I told her quietly. Nearly everyone was gone, there were only like seven people left not including us and they were all at the counter talking. "He's an old friend of mine, he left about two years ago right before you came. He's great, he always use to help me out."
"And I am right now." Dave added, "Chelsey, don't tell anyone who I am, you two, and myself of course, are the only people that know my two identities. "
"What did you do?" Chelsey asked slowly and concerned.
"Bye, I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" Dave asked.
"Bye." I replied, you can't fight Dave when he drops the subject. I've tried it a few times, he won't tell you anything so why fight it? There's no reason to. Dave smiled at me and left.
I walked over to the counter and sat down, it was closing time for the bar so only Chelsey, Dan, Jim, and myself were left. "Hey Tom, what's with the sudden attitude to Eric?" Jim asked.
"Yeah, what's with that?" Dan asked me wiping off the counter.
"I don't know, I guess he's cool." I responded.
"Come on Tom, there has to be more than that." Dan stated.
"No, there isn't. I just got to know him better and realize he isn't bad at all."
"You're hiding somethin', I know it." Jim told me.
"No I'm not."
"Whatever you say Tom," said Jim, "If you don't wanna tell us something that's cool, it's your business and not ours."
"Bye Chels," I walked over and kissed her, I kissed Ellen too who had just got to sleep. "It's really late, I have to go home before Paul yells at me even more than he already will."
I walked back home through the park. It was two in the morning and I knew Paul's gonna kill me for this. On this brisky November night I actually enjoyed walking home for once. Walking alone in the night always clears my mind, it gets me away, it's my only escape the whole day. No one's there to bother you, it's like you escape your body even if it is only a few minutes.
I walked up the stairs to my tiny "apartment" on the third floor. I knocked on my old brown door, Paul opened it. "What are you doing here so late!?!?!" Paul roared.
"Why do you care?" I replied.
"How 'bout I don't let you outta here tomorrow?"
"You can't do that!" I objected.
"I'll stay home from work."
"You can't!"
"I will."
"No!"
"Yes."
You can't argue very far with Paul either, he says if I do he'll kill me and he'll do that, he killed my dad.
On the small, torn matress I tried to fall asleep but couldn't. I wanted to see Chelsey, I wanted to see Dave, I wanted to see Ellen. If I couldn't get out tomorrow I might never see Dave again, he didn't tell me when he was leaving. Not seeing Ellen made me mad too, I want to see her so badly.
Around four I fell asleep. At noon Paul blasted the radio. "What the hell!?!" I yelled.
"I waited all morning for you to get up, I couldn't wait any longer." Paul replied.
"This is country music, you hate country music!" I yelled.
"I know Tom but do you think I'd ever pass up a chance to make you miserable?"
"Of course not."
"Do you see the point?"
"Kind of."
"Good."
"Can I leave now?"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Yes."
"What!?! You think I can't remember a few hours back?"
"No."
"Well, you're wrong."
"Let me out, I really need to get out."
"No! Why do you need to?"
"None of your business."
"Do you really need to?"
"Yeah."
"Then give me a reason and I'll consider it."
"Nevermind then."
"Okay then, that settles that."
I started drawing on the wall. Since I don't ever have enough money for paper I draw on my wall next to my "bed". Paul lets me draw on just that wall to shut me up for a while. I use pencils so I can erase them when I need more room on the wall. I'm pretty good artist since I have nothing to do when I'm home. We don't even have an electrical socket in our room. I have nothing at home so that's why I leave.
I can usually get away with drawing anything I want. One time I drew a picture of Dave and I killing Paul, Paul almost killed me. I wish I could kill him, he intentionally tries to make my life as worse as possible for no good reason. Paul killed my Dad too, I can't forgive him for that no matter what he does, even if he starts to be a little nice to me. He's plain evil, he deserves to die. It's been four years now, four years with Paul. Without Dave I probably would've killed myself, Dave is the reason I'm still here today. I met Dave when I was in kindergarten, I was six. Dave was nineteen. My Dad and I went to a restaurant on the other side of town for lunch, the restaurant's now closed down. Dave was looking through the newspaper for a job, he looked really desperate. My dad knew an opening at the local newspaper, "The People's Spirit", that needed an extra guy to deliver the papers. Dave thanked my dad for that and they started to talk. Within fifteen minutes or so Dave and my dad became friends.
I walked over to see what my dad was doing and that's when I met Dave. He seemed to like me, he was really nice. It seemed like whenever he was around me he got in a better mood back then. Dave use to be really depressed, he had no money once so ever and he felt like everyone hated him. Dave told me he wanted to commit suicide hundreds of times, I wanted to a few times too. We helped each other out a lot, I could never thank him enough.
Anyways, shortly after my dad and I met Dave he moved in with us. We had a pretty nice house then which had plenty of room for Dave. We weren't rich, we were actually sort of poor but it seems rich compared to now.
When my dad died Dave helped me more than ever. If Paul didn't force him that night to change my legal guardian I would be living with Dave. Paul was about to kill me, if I was there he probably would have.
I wanted to go see Ellen and get out of here. I looked at my picture of Ellen that I drew. Lots of people think I should be an artist when I "grow up" but I don't know what I want to do. I dropped out of school so that eliminates lots of careers. If I ever go back to school I'll never go to college, I'll never have the money to go to college.