Upcoming Uncertainty
Topic: My Hearing
This past week I had my hearing tested for the first time in over two years. Unfortunately, I learned that my hearing has gotten slightly worse in that amount of time. This information is not exactly surprising, but I have been dwelling on it quite a bit these last few days. I am reminded of the loss whenever I listen to the radio or put my headphones on to my mp3 to listen to an audio book while running or doing work around the house. The question arises: Will I be able to do these things in ten years? In twenty years? I have decided, perhaps rashly, to not listen to music on my mp3 player while running so that I do not potentially damage my hearing further. This has proven to be both difficult and depressing.
Hearing loss is an isolating and often aggravating experience. At the moment only suffer from mild hearing loss. I can pretty much hear well enough, with my hearing aid, to function normally throughout the day. Of course, it is not smooth sailing at all times. One of the most frustrating aspects is the impatience of others when it comes to my disability. If I need someone to repeat themselves I am often met with thinly veiled annoyance, as if I am intentionally doing this to get under their skin.
But perhaps the most irritating attitude I encounter is the idea that I have brought this on myself through irresponsible behavior. I have been asked if my hearing loss is due to too many concerts or listening to too much loud music. I am not a fan of concerts and can count on one hand the number of times I have attended them. No, I am genetically predisposed to gradually loose my hearing while the music of the world fades away.
These thoughts have kept me up for too many nights this week and I shall try and sleep now and not think of what may lie ahead.