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When purchasing a CD, nothing sucks more than finding out that only one goddamn song on the album is listenable. Anyway, to avoid getting stuck with a $20 coaster, return it to the store and claim it’s defective. Scratch the CD—a Brillo pad should do the trick—if you think it’ll bolster your case. You’ll get a new (and, more importantly, sealed) copy of the same CD, which you can exchange at the store a couple of days later for something else. The old “It was a gift I didn’t want” line should get you a brand-spanking-new cd.

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