I was in the middle of a game, when the door came swinging open. Lance and I immediately looked in the direction of the entrance, hoping it to be one of our buddies that usually came around for the Thursday night bash. But not this time.

"Fuck."

"Want me to get rid of her?" asked Lance, quickly attempting to come to my aid.

"No, thanks. It had to happen sooner or later."

It was Amber. I had forgotten that she had turned 21 in the month we'd been apart. She was right on time. I knew what she wanted. It was always the same. Every time we broke up, she'd be asking me back out within a month. You could set a watch by her. As a matter of fact, it had been 30 days exactly since we broke up, since I'd last talked to her. But this time was going to be different. This time I wasn't going to give in to her. She had done too much damage. I couldn't put myself through it again.

"Hi, sexy. Must be Thursday night," she greeted me.

Damn. She doesn't waste any time does she?

"Hey, how have you been?"

"Not bad. So you gonna buy me a drink or just stand there with a stick in your hand?"

Damn, she looked good. It was hard to say no to her.

"Hey, Lance. Give me a Captain and Coke and another Jack and Coke."

Lance got the drinks, giving me a dirty look the entire time. I knew he thought I was going to crack.

"So what all have you been up to?", she asked, trying to start a conversation. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I hadn't smoked since we broke up.

"Not much. Mostly just working. That and the usual Thursday nights here. Can I bum one?" I asked, knowing I'd regret it.

"Sure. So not dating anyone or anything?"

She pulled out a cigarette for me but instead of giving it to me, she lit it herself first. It was one of her methods of seduction. She was the only one that thought it worked. What did work was the fact that she was gorgeous and a slut. She cheated on me more times than I can count; yet I kept staying with her. Blinding love I guess.

"No, decided I needed time to just be single. I didn't want to jump into anything quite yet. Be kinda stupid and wouldn't be fair to the girl. What about you?"

Mistake #1. Letting her think that she had a chance. I knew there was no turning back now.

"Nope. I'm still single, too. You breaking or me?" she said as she racked up the balls, indicating that she wanted to play me in a game. I knew that she was still single but I also knew that she had give 2 guys I used to be friends with blowjobs. I have to admit I did miss that. That was one of her talents along with being a straight out bitch. Knowing her there was a guy or two that she had fucked too.

I walked up to the table and broke. I got a few balls in and started shooting. I cleared the table. I was so focused on the game. Attempting not to have my attention on her. She just sat by smiling.

"I see someone has been practicing."

"A little bit. But you know me, I have a good game here and there."

Any minute now. I could tell she was working up to it.

"Don't be so modest. You always were good at pool. Among other things" she said slyly.

She then came up to me put her arms around my neck and kissed me. God, I missed that. Lance just rolled his eyes and made his way to his office. He didn't want to see this, not again.

Mistake #2. I didn't push her away.

It was time.

"So what do you say to giving us another shot, lover boy?"

"I'm sorry Amber. I just can't."

Her face just dropped. Shocked at my answer.

"What do you mean you can't? I thought you weren't seeing anyone."

"I'm not. I just can't get back into a relationship with you again."

And here it comes.

"What the fuck do you mean? You all of a sudden don't love me anymore? All of a sudden I'm not good enough?" she said accusationally.

"No, it's not that. It's just that…"

"It's just what?" She was almost screaming at this point.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes. You think I fucking wouldn't? Be a man and fucking tell me!"

"Fine. Then sit down."

"Fine. Now out with it."

She was obviously pissed, understandably so. I took a deep breath, apprehensive about what I was about to say and do. Quite frankly, I was scared and part of me still loved her, still wanted to be with her.

"Amber, quite frankly you're the worst person I've ever met."

"What?" she asked almost in a whisper. I couldn't tell if she was just shocked or really hurt but I had to keep going.

"You're more selfish than anyone I've ever come across. You only care about yourself. That's been apparent our entire relationship. You'd break up with me, slut around fucking and sucking anything that came across your path and then come crawling back to me tossing your hair and trying to be irresistible. And me, being stupid and in love always took you back. You've manipulated everyone you've ever come across. It's no surprise to me that none of your friends ever seem to last all that long. You use and abuse them until they've had enough and had more sense than me and got out of the friendship. You're a fucking joke. Everyone thinks that. I mean you think you're so irresistible and seductive but everyone just knows you put out. Even while you were with me you were fucking around on me. At one point I really loved you. I loved you more than anything. You just threw it in my face. I don't even hate you now. You're not worth the effort or emotion. Honestly, I just pity you. You'll just end up old and alone with no one to love and no friends. You've tried to destroy me. You've almost succeeded one about 20 different occasions. I'm not going to put myself through all this shit again. I'm over you and I'm not a dumb kid anymore. I could go on, but I think you've heard enough."

For about 5 seconds but she sat there, in complete silence, tears streaming down her face. Then Lance started clapping until I shot him a nasty glare. I know he was proud of me. It was obvious but the beaming smile on his face. His clapping must have startled her back to reality because she really started to cry at that point. Then she looked up at me, lip trembling, about to speak.

She began in the softest, quietest voice I had ever heard her use.

"I…I never knew. I swear. I'm so sorry, Trent. I…I never even….Oh, my god, I'm such a horrible…" She just kept mumbling, too low for me to really understand, especially with all the sobbing.

I walked up to her, and just hugged her. She just buried her head in my shoulder and cried. I couldn't do anything or say anything. I just held her. I started to feel awful about what I had just done. Even with everything she put me through, all the heartache, she didn't deserve what I had just done. For the first time I realized that deep down she really did love me. I think she did too. I think she also realized how much I had loved her and that she had thrown it all away. After about 10 minutes her crying began to subside. She pulled away and looked up at me.

"I…I'm so sorry, Trent. I just want you to know that…that…." she spoke, fear and pain in her voice.

"That what, Amber?" I asked in my most tender and compassionate voice. I didn't want to make it any worse than it was already.

"That I love you, Trent and I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry I'm really sorry. I'll just leave you alone now."

With that she leaned up and kissed me once on the lips and once on the cheek. She turned away from me, downed the rest of her drink and walked toward the door. I wanted to say something, anything, but I knew it was better that I just let her go. I hoped that it would help her. Help her be a better person and maybe, just maybe we'd eventually end up together.

I just walked up to the bar, finished my drink and asked Lance for another. He quickly obliged.

"You know, Trent, you did the right thing. And I must say it's about damned time. She's been slowly killing you for 5 years now." he said, in a sincere, but horrible attempt to comfort me.

"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. You know how I feel about her. And she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be crushed like that."

"I know, I know but it's done, it's over and there's nothing you can do about it" he said as he poured me another drink of straight Jack. I chugged that. I was already starting to feel drunk and that would definitely finish the job. It was already 2 am and I needed to head home.

"Look, Lance. I appreciate everything but I think I better just get back home. Besides it's closing time." Lance had another idea though. "Look, I'll have Tina close up. How about you come out back with me and we'll smoke a couple of joints. It'll relax you and help you sleep tonight."

Under normal circumstances, I'm a pretty anti-drug person, but this was a special circumstance. Besides, I knew it'd be hard to fall asleep and it would help.

"Sure."

We went out to the loading dock and smoked both the joints barely saying a word. As soon as we were finished I said goodnight and walked the 2 blocks back to my apartment. I didn't waste any time and went straight to my bedroom, stripped to my boxers, and went to bed, drunk and stoned out of my mind.

About a half-hour later I heard a knock at my door. At first I was going to ignore it but they were persistent. Besides I had a good feeling about who it was. I stumbled my way to the door. Yelling I'm coming. After tripped on a boot I finally got to the door and opened it.

It's a strange feeling staring down the barrel of a shotgun stoned at 3:30 in the morning.