Realization I had no idea where we were going. The only thing I knew was that there was a Party somewhere and we had been invited. Actually, Sam had been invited. I was merely a tag-a-long. A pity invite if you will. We rode the first 15 minutes in virtual silence with the exception of Jawbreaker blaring over the $3000 system in the $500 Caprice Classic. I never had the heart to tell him that he was a fucking fool for that one. I could tell from the look of his face that Sam wanted to ask me something.
"What is it?" I said.
"Mind if I ask you something a little personal. I mean you don't have to answer if you don't want to but…."
"Cut the etiquette and just ask. You know I hate that beating around the bush shit."
Now pay attention boys and girls. This question was interesting.
"You said you were in love once, right?"
"Yessum."
"Well, what was it like?"
"How much longer till we're there?"
"Why? You don't want to talk about it?"
"No, just don't want to be cut off, that's all."
"Half-hour"
With that I lit up a clove and started into my little spiel, hoping to satisfy his curiousity, but knowing it would only bring on the 3rd degree.
"Well", I started, "It's the best felling in the world, when it's working."
"Whatta ya mean?"
"Well, when there's not the rampant fighting and I got along w/ her there was nothing that could beat the feeling. I loved having her in my arms, especially when she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful. She'd just pull me closer and a lot of times she would hold my hand. Even in the morning she wouldn't want to let me leave, even though she knew I had to get to work or class or whatever. I always felt really close to her, like I could tell her anything."
"Sounds really good."
"Well, it was. Like I said, nothing could beat it."
"Well what about when things weren't going as smoothly?"
"To put it bluntly: pure hell. There was nothing worse than feeling as though she didn't love me back or didn't want to be with me. I mean it would crush me. Sometimes I'd go days without eating. I'd be hungry as hell but my stomach would get nauseaus at the very thought of food."
"Sounds like you had it really bad."
"I'd say, I was engaged to her."
"Damn. What happened?"
"I'm not really sure. Things were going really well and then all of a sudden they fell apart. I kept trying and trying to make things work but no matter what they didn't. Then she cheated on me and I realized something."
"What was that? Oh by the way, what was her name?"
"We weren't meant for each other. So I gave up. And her name was Ashley."
At that point we pulled into a driveway of a house with about 40 cars in the yard.
"We're here."


Chapter 3