Please note before you read the rest: I was really bored, so I just thought I'd share with everyone a b/s prediction of how Oz will be 20 years from today: (please don't take me seriously):
MIGUEL ALVAREZ -- After killing the last of El Norte, he is sentenced to life in Solitary for the 19th time, but this time the Warden says he means it.
WARDEN LEO GLYNN -- After turning down an offer to be vice president, Glynn and his girlfriend of 18 years, Floria, finally tie the knot in time for Clayton Hughes's illegitimate son to attempt to kill Glynn, get stabbed, and die in Glynn's arms. His last words are: "I have a son, Leo!" Glynn, out of fear, resigns, and is replaced by Martin Querns (who finally looks like he belongs in the 1990's, but since it's 2021 that's not much of an improvement).
TIM MCMANUS -- He reaches retirement age, but refuses to retire because Emerald City is still up and running. In his attempts to stop Omar White from using drugs, however, he finally loses the other leg and is forced to create wheelchair access to his office, and he and Augustus Hill have several bonding moments. Then Diane Whittlesy calls, and McManus has a heart attack due to increased blood pressure.
SISTER PETER-MARIE REIMONDO -- Well, sadly to say, our lovely Sister Pete had snapped years ago and had been replaced. She sits in an asylum next to Peter Schibetta saying over and over: "God chooses us, Chris. He chooses us. You used me, Chris! God chose you, Chris."
AUGUSTUS HILL -- Our gallant narrator still hosts the show, and gets extra money for developing a special kind of hair tie that keeps his exceptionally-long hair from getting caught in his wheels. He barely slips past getting killed when a new inmate tells him a deadly secret, and Hill tells the authorities that, indeed, "Prisoner number 21C635 did have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
TOBIAS BEECHER -- His lawyer tells him, "This year will be the one, I know it!" Then Beecher's parole is denied for the 20th year in a row. Frustrated, kills his lawyer and is sentenced to life imprisonment, but it doesn't matter anymore because his daughter Holly is now 28 and is past needing him anymore.
KAREEM SAID -- After finishing his 10th book, "Allah Will Accept Your Love Even If You Stab Two Aryans In A Library", Said is finally sent to death row for stabbing yet another inmate. It seems the judge wouldn't accept "Adebisi made me do it" as a viable defense. When Devlin, in his 7th term as governor, offers to reduce Said's sentence, Said just finally says, "Fuck it" and accepts it. He leaves Arif in charge of the Muslims and leaves Oz. When he steps outside, his hypertension kicks in and he has a heart attack, proving yet again that "Allah works in mysterious ways".
RYAN O'REILLY -- After enlisting Cyril in the kindergarten learning program, O'Reilly is finally able to get Gloria Nathan to tie the knot. But Gloria's parents to do not approve of Ryan, and Cyril beats them at the wedding. The Warden finally sends Cyril to the Connelly Institute (run by a limping bitch named Claire Howell), but O'Reilly doesn't care anymore because he get Gloria in bed at night (and viewers are FINALLY able to see her tits, but by now they're wrinkly and sagging so not many people get too excited about it). Then, because he had run out of ideas and big celebrity guest stars, Tom Fontana writes in that O'Reilly and Gloria are abducted by (you guessed it!) E.T.
Please do not hate me for this portrayal of the future. A lot can happen in 20 years, and I'm probably horribly wrong. I'm sure they'll find a cure for hypertension by then, so that whole Said thing is almost surely impossible.