Family Page

Family Page

The Husband's Role
The Wife's Role
The Children's Role
The Family Unit

    The shocking state of todays society is not surprising to anyone who has picked up a newspaper, read a magazine, or watched television lately. Our "modern lifestyle" has decayed to the point that it is very difficult to find anyone willing to stand up for such "old-fashioned" ideals as truth, honor, and justice. The Bible ideals of helping your fellow man, love thy neighbor, and turning the other cheek are even more far-fetched to most folks.
    It is my belief that a major cause of this decay is because of the erosion of the family unit. Today's family is a far cry from that of the family of 50 years ago. In our parents time, divorce and step-relatives were virtually unheard of. In 1950, a divorced man or woman was all but a social outcast and when a couple went through a divorce, it was very difficult to even show their faces around town.
    Nowadays, though, divorce has become so commonplace that a family retaining all its members is almost a rarity. My daughter came up to my wife the other day and asked if she was the only kid whose parents were still together. She hears all her friends telling about how they will be going to their Dad's house or spending the weekend at Mom's - she feels weird that she still has both her birth parents.
    As a "victim" of a family split myself, and seeing first-hand the immediate and long-term effects of what divorce does to a family, I wanted to use this page to put forth my views and beliefs about what the Bible says a Christian family consists of, how it fits together, and the roles and responsibilities each member has in the whole.

Husbands:
   I begin with the husband because that is where God began. Men are called by God to be the leader of the household. The Bible leaves no doubt as to the role of the man. When God created the world, He put Adam in charge, before woman was created. Eve was created not as an equal, but as a helpmeet - an assistant - under Adams' control. Genesis 2:18 says:"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him." In 1 Peter 3:7 the Holy Spirit calls the wife "the weaker vessel". And it was Eve's weaker nature that Satan exploited when he tempted her in the garden.
   The first sin for which God rebuked Adam in Genesis 3:17 was "because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife" In other words, Adam listened to Eve rather than God. It was because Eve was tempted through her weaker nature into disobeying God that He made Adam the authority over her. Genesis 3:16 "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
   Pretty clear isn't it. God intends man to be the ruler of his house and the leader of the family. He even uses the church as an example of the order of things. In Ephesians 5:23-24: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." There can be no more clearly and emphatically stated message than this: the husband is the head of the wife, and the head of the home.
   However, that does not mean that the man is not accountable or answerable for his actions - he has to answer to God. The responsibility that goes with a man's position in the home is enough to scare any man when he realizes what is expected of him. The husband is primarily responsible for the success (or failure) of the home in God's eye. In Christian homes, he is to be the spiritual leader and guiding force behind his family's spiritual well-being. In non-Christian homes, the husband should be blamed first of all, because he is accountable before God. An awesome responsibility to be sure.
   In Numbers, chapter 30, the Lord clearly teaches that even a woman's duty to God is controlled by her father or husband. Verses 13-15 state: "Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void. But if her husband altogethr hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them. But if he shall in any ways make them void after that he heard them, then he shall bear her iniquity." So the father or husband if she is married, has the right to set aside or to establish any vow a woman may have made to God. But he also takes onto himself, any sin that may accompany the matter by voiding any vow or bond.
   Even in church, women are commanded to be under the obedience to their husbands and to ask them concerning religious matters at home. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." God has clearly commanded men to be the leaders in matters of religion.
   Two of the greatest examples of Godly husbands are found in Joshua and Abraham. After God had brought the tribes of Isreal out of Egypt, through the wilderness wanderings, and into Canaan, Joshua gathered them together for a great address and urged them to serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15 is the climax to his address of the people and stands as one of the great examples of a Godly husband: "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye shall serve; whether the gods which your famthers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell:but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."In that last sentence, Joshua spoke volumes about the man's role in regards to leading his family's religious beliefs:
      He spoke for himself: "I will serve the Lord"
      He spoke for his wife: "She will serve the Lord"
      He spoke for his children: "They will serve the Lord"
      He spoke for any grandchildren who may have been living under his roof: "They will serve the Lord"
      He spoke of anyone else who lived in his house: "They will serve the Lord"
In essence, he told all the heads of the families in this address: "You heads of familes choose for yourself who you will serve. But I will serve the Lord and my family will serve the Lord."
   In Abraham, God found a man He could trust and a man that would bring his family and his house up in the way of the Lord. When God started to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He said: "And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him" - Genesis 18:17-19. Abraham commanded his children and his household after him so that they kept the way of the Lord. And for that God blessed him and all nations through him.
   In addition to being the head of the household and keeping the family growing spiritually, God also requires of the man further. In Ephesians 5:25, the apostle Paul tells us that the husband is to love his wife. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." Another example of this is found in 1 Peter 3:7 where Peter says that the husband is to dwell together with his wife. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
    The husband cannot live this way with his wife unless he loves her with a love that loves in spite of the response(or lack of it) from the partner. The love that God commands is a love that is not necessarily sexual or emotional in nature (although both of these concepts are involved), but rather the kind of love that God has for the world. An all-accepting, all-forgiving love that depends not on reciprocation or self-satisfaction ("If I love you, what will you do for me?"). A husband can only love his wife in this way if he is a Christian and under the control of the Holy Spirit.
     The two responsibilities the Bible gives the husband in this matter are to dwell with his wife according to knowledge, and to render to his wife the honor which is due her because she is his wife. To "dwell together" means to take her into every aspect of his life. The concept of "personal space" that is touted in today's society is not a Christian concept. There should be no areas where the wife is not allowed in the husbands life (and vice versa)
    The man who does not perform these duties as God intended cannot communicate with her in the way He intended; hence he cannot communicate with God either since he is not obeying Gods' will. To make sure the lines of communication with God remain open the husband must make sure the channel of communication with his wife remain open as well. Only in this way can he truly love his wife as God desires him to.
   Yes God expects a great deal from a man - the one He put at the head of the family. The blame for broken homes, untrained and undisciplined children, immodestly dressed or fashion-mad wives - every evil that curses our civilization today can be traced back to weak or degenerate men, slackers or shirkers in thier responsibilities to take charge and take control of their homes and "wear the pants in the family".
   Man, if your home life is wrong, you are wrong. If your daughter turns out to be immoral and your son a criminal, you are to blame in God's sight. If your family does not live within it's income, if they do not serve the Lord in sincerity and in truth, it's your fault. If they have missed the blessings of the family altar, prayer in your home, giving thanks at the dinner table, old-fashioned Bible discipline and the multitude of other blessings God holds for them, it is because you have failed in your duty as the head of the house.
   It is a great honor and a great responsibility you hold as a husband and a father. You have an immense job in front of you and if you are not willing to take control of your home and take your place at the head of your family in a Godly manner, then do not do it at all. If you are not ready, willing, and able to be the head of the family and guide your loved ones in the ways of the Lord, you are not ready to become a husband or to bring children into this wicked world.
   If you already are a husband and/or a father and are not saved or are not a successful Christian leader, then for the sake of your family and yourself, I urge you to get it right with God today - this very minute - and bring your family back under God's protection and guidance.

Wives:
    The wife is to assume an equal, yet submissive role to her husband. She is a helpmeet for him and God meant for her to be a partner in the marriage, but she is also to submit to his leadership. The husband should listen to her viewpoints and opinons, but when the final word is said on the subject, it is the husbands rule that stands. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."(Ephesians 6:22-24)
   Whenever God gives orders to husbands and wives about how they should treat each other, He always speaks to the wife first, then to the husband. When He speaks to fathers and children, He speaks to the children first. And when He speaks to masters and servants, He speaks to the servants first. He always speaks to the subjects first, then the masters. God wants no questions and no excuses left to the subject. He wants it perfectly clear how the subject is to treat the master. Interestingly enough, when God speaks to the couple about thier duties to Him, He starts with the husband, then the wife.
   This rule of speaking to the one in subjection first is followed throughout the Bible - for examples of this check out Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22-25; Colossians 3:18; and 1 Peter 3:1-7.
   This rule also applies no matter the spiritual condition of the one in charge. Children are to obey their parents even if the parents aren't saved. Servants are to obey their masters even if they are cruel and unkind. Citizens of the state are to obey the laws even when those laws seem unjust or when the lawmakers are corrupt and wicked. Likewise, God expects women to obey their husbands - good or bad, saved or unsaved. Nowhere in the Bible is the woman's obedience to her husband conditional upon his treatment of her or the state of his soul. The wife is to submit to the husband. Period. If women knew and cared about how strongly God feels on this subject, they would be much more careful about the husband they choose to submit to and their marriages would last longer. These days, the common line of thinking is that of "I'll marry him because I love him, but if I ever stop loving him, I can always leave". This is not Scriptural nor is it the way God intended the marriage contract to work. Jesus, in explaining God's ideas on marriage, didn't say "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder - unless he is a jerk or something"! God intended the marriage contract to be a lifelong committment, no matter what condition the hearts of those involved are like.
   Ok, ladies, now before you get all up in arms over this subjection issue, let's define what subjection truly is - Biblically-speaking.
   Subjection of a wife to her husband is not some slave-like cringing and threats of bodily harm or cruel, menacing glares from him. It is not some medieval ranking structure designed and created to keep the woman in a demeaning or demoralizing state of utter dependency. And it is not meant to lower or lessen her importance in the family unit. Subjection in this case is meant that there can be only one head of the household. A home where both the wife and the husband "share the decision-making" is a home in turmoil. God knew that to make both the man and wife equal in the decision-making process would invite disaster. And He is right - a quick look at some of the familes you know around you, proves that fact. Just as a country or state cannot have more than one final ruler, or a company more than one president, the family unit has to have one "last-word" leader. And God chose the man for that position. Sorry ladies, but those are His rules - not mine.
   That is not to say that you have to walk around with your head down and two steps behind him at all times. You are not slaves. Probably the finest example of what a Godly wife is is found in Sarah, Abraham's wife.
   Sarah loved Abraham - she admired and respected him so much that, as noble and matriarchal as she was, she was not ashamed to call him "lord". She was in subjection to him, not because he forced her to submit with threats or physical intimidation, not because he demanded it "or else", but because she was a Godly wife and knew that this was what she should do. She loved Abraham and revered him as God commands Christian wives to revere their husbands.
   What does it mean to "revere" someone? Well a quick look into a dictionary will tell us that to revere someone means "To regard with awe, great respect, or devotion. To treasure with profound respect." Not a bad way to be now is it? Note that this does not mean you must worship him or idolize him as if he were a god (we know not to put any human in that high a position!) but it does mean that wives should hold their husbands in high regard and treat them with the respect and esteem God intends.
   A study of the Scriptures will reveal the companionship of Abraham and Sarah to be one of the most happy and beautiful relationships found in the Bible, and a perfect picture of what God plans for all marriages to be like. No woman came between them; they were sweethearts from the time they met till their deaths; they never quarrelled over their children; they were totally devoted to each other throughout life's circumstances. A wife who feels toward her husband the way Sarah felt toward Abraham is indeed going to have a happy and fulfilling life and a rock-solid marriage. If you Mrs. Modern Wife can not feel the same way toward your "Mr. Right" and treat him with the same revererance and respect, then do not expect the same happiness and contentment that Sarah felt with Abraham. On the other hand, if you do respect and venerate your husband in such a manner, do not be surprised if he suddenly gets more passionate, more devoted, and starts treating you as his queen. Respect begats respect, devotion begats devotion, and the more you give to your husband, the more he will return.
    In marriage, two people become one through the joining of their minds and hearts, and to keep this union strong and intact, one person is to take the leadership role and one is to submit. The wife's submission to her husband is her "adorning" which makes her truly beautiful and this inner beauty is of great value in God's eyes."...even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price"(1 Peter 3:4)
The believing women of the Old Testament made themselves beautiful by submitting to their husbands and letting the consequences rest with God. This is illustrated best by the model of Sarah and Abraham. And Christian women of today would do well to use Sarah's example of submission in their own relationships with their husbands.
    For those who do, God promises that, if her husband is an unbeliever, or out of fellowship with God for some reason, her submission can be the very means and method God uses to bring her husband into a proper relationship with God and thereby lead to the husbands' salvation. (1 Peter 3:1)   So should a wife obey her husband, be in subjection to him, submit and even reverence him? Should a husband have authority over his wife as a master has over his servant, ruling over her in all things, and placing himself as chief authority over his family?
The answer to this question is a resounding "Yes!" and the proof of which can be found in the Bible.

Just remember - God made woman to be a completer to man...not a competitor to man. Each partner has their place, and the marriages that last are the one's that follow God's intended plan.

Children:
God's design for children is very clear. Children are to obey their parents-plain and simple. "Honor thy father and thy mother." (Deuteronomy 5:16). This is one of the Ten Commandments given to Moses by God. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." (Ephesians 6:1). Children is an inclusive term; it does not matter the sex or age of the child. God's will for children is to obey their parents "in all things". Colossians 3:20 says "Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." This Scripture passage clearly points out that children are to obey thier parents in "in all things" not just those things that pertain to Christian living. For this is right indicates that it is righteous for children to obey their parents. This obedience is exemplified in the example of Christ. He was obedient unto the Father even to His death on the Cross.

And now a little discertation on Biblical Child Discipline:

    The subject of disciplining a child is a touchy subject for many people. There are those who view any form of discipline as abuse whether it be physical discipline or just scolding a child. There are also those on the other side who view a good sound spanking as the only way to get through to a child. While it is my opinion that a child must be disciplined if he or she is going to grow up properly, I also do not advocate any form of abuse to anyone – man, woman or child.
    Discipline is a matter of degree. It does not necessarily involve physical pain, but physical pain should not be summarily dismissed either. If you can get through to a child by means of restrictions or denying them their favorite activity, then that is all that is required. But if the child needs something more meaningful to relate to, then you do what you must. But only what it takes to get through to the child. What you are after is a breaking of their will, not their spirit. You are looking for their repentance and an “I’m sorry I…”. Once you have that, the discipline is over. To continue spanking the child because you feel they weren’t “sincere” or because you want to be sure “they got the message” is wrong.
    There is nothing wrong with physically disciplining your child if the situation warrants it. It is far better to discipline them even though it hurts them now than to allow the behavior to escalate as they grow older. We all know of children that have been allowed to run roughshod over their all-too-lenient parents. Those kids who scream bloody murder in the grocery store when they don’t get a toy or run around blatantly disobeying their poor, haggard mother in the restaurant when they should be sitting down quietly.
    The Bible has much to say about disciplining children. “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). Kinda sums it up rather nicely doesn’t it? If you start a child off on the right path, he will get used to walking on it and will not leave it. Another well known verse is found in Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes [early]”. Herein lies the key to proper discipline – love. If you love your child you will discipline him or her when needed and as needed in order to make them better adults. A child that does not know discipline, grows up not knowing discipline. But a child that grows up knowing there are rules and consequences for breaking those rules, will be more likely to be to follow the rules as adults.
    Discipline itself has some rules and the following are some key points to remember when disciplining your child. Following these suggestions consistently and with love and I guarantee you will end up with well-behaved, well-adjusted, Christian children.

1. Firmly establish the limits or rules. It is not right to spank a child for something when you have not first told them it was wrong. Take the child aside when he or she has done something that displeases you and let them know how you feel about it. Once the rules have been established, and I might add understood, then they will understand the reason for the discipline.

2. Let the child know they have done wrong. When an offense has occurred, take the child aside and explain to him what he has done. But instead of asking him “Who did this?” (which tends to make them find another guilty party) or “Why did you do that?” (which makes him find an excuse for his behavior), ask him instead, “What did you do?” This question forces him to examine what he has done and confess his disobedience head on. And that is what he should do. Make him confess it. Make him admit to the wrongdoing.

3. Get the child alone. Always take the child somewhere where you and he can be alone. This serves two purposes: First it avoids the embarrassment of being disciplined (whether it be a scolding or a spanking) if front of others –especially peers. Peer pressure is a powerful force and when it is in this context, it will only serve to foster resentment and anger at being humiliated in front of his friends. Secondly, it also avoids interference - from other relatives, friends, and others who feel they know what’s best. Matthew 18:15 says “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.”

4.Show the child you are sorry for his behavior as well. Expressing sadness for the child’s misbehavior will do more to relate his wrongdoing to him than any spanking you could give him. Many is the time that I wished the lecture to be over and the actual spanking to be started rather than to hear how my actions have upset or saddened my parents. I had a tough hide as a child – I could take a spanking. But I couldn’t bear the thought that I had upset my parents. The thought that I had disappointed them would break me every time. When your child does something that you disapprove of, simply tell him something like ”Son, I wanted you to do the right thing. I am disappointed you chose not to. I’m sorry you feel you have to act like this. And it hurts me to have to discipline you.” I can tell you one thing – if you start your child off in this manner, you will very rarely have to go any further. Your words, coupled with your expressed sadness shown on your face, will have him confessing to you his every fault in short order. When you correct your child, it is important to let them know that you are concerned for them, not just that you are angry with them.

5.Always associate love with discipline. Your child must know he is getting disciplined not because you are angry he disobeyed, but because you love him and want the best for him. Tell him you are doing this for his own good because you want him to grow up to be a good person. Tell him that you are doing this because you love him. Then show him that fact. It is not enough to tell him you love him, you must show him as well. Never, ever discipline a child when you are angry or simply because he had the nerve to disobey you. If you tell him not to do something and he blatantly does it anyway, take some time to reflect and calm yourself down before talking to him. And after the spanking or correction has been made, be sure there is a make-up period as well. A child must always have the opportunity to make amends and be forgiven. After you have spanked your child, he will want to do something to win your love back. Do not make it hard for him. Taking him in your arms and holding him does not make your efforts in disciplining him useless – on the contrary, the love he feels afterwards will reinforce his desire to please you even more.

6. Use a neutral object to discipline the child. “There is a tool for every purpose and a purpose for every tool” as the saying goes. Your hand is not the tool for disciplining your child. To use your hand for correction will cause him to shy away when you reach out for him in other times also. The child will learn to associate the pain of correction with the hand and will duck when he sees it coming – for whatever reason. Ladies, I know you especially tend to use the “hand across the face” method of correction and this is wrong on two counts. First, you are using your hand and secondly you are slapping the child across the face. God has designed the human anatomy with a special place built in for correction. It has ample padding so as not to cause permanent injury, yet more than enough nerve endings to get the point across. It is low on the back so it is an easy target and since the area is commonly used for sitting, the “afterglow” is a reminder of the child’s offense for a time after the discipline is finished. You should use a neutral object for disciplining your child so he learns to associate the pain of the correction with the object and not with your hand. That way, you can reach out to him afterwards with love and tenderness.

7. Use only enough correction to break the child’s will. I have mentioned this earlier but it deserves another mention. Do not overcorrect the child since this will leave him frustrated and feeling as if he is worthless and unloved. The idea here is to extract just enough from him to elicit a sincere apology and no more. What is “sincere”? Well, that takes experience and judgement on your part. I cannot tell you how far you need to go – this is your child and you are the best judge of that. All I can say is it is better to stop prior to the point of breaking the child than to go too far and end up ruining the child’s self-esteem. You can always increase the amount of correction next time.

8 Help the child make amends. Notice I said help. Do not do this for him, but allow him the opportunity and means to make them himself. He must know that he is responsible for his actions and that breaking the rules has a price- not just and immediate, painful one, but another, often costly one. Help him to make whatever restitution is needed. If a child throws a baseball through a window because he is playing where he shouldn’t be, help him make restitution to the owner by earning the money to pay for the window. And when he pays for the window, do not let him forget to ask for forgiveness from the person he wronged. He should know that he must be forgiven for all his wrongdoing from all those he hurt. This will have an added benefit when the time comes for him to seek the Lord’s forgiveness and salvation – he will understand the meaning of being forgiven and it will instill a deeper impression on his heart!

9 Finally, be willing to admit when you make a mistake as well. Children learn by example and the child whose parents “never admit when they are wrong” will never learn to admit wrongdoing themselves. So be man (or woman) enough to admit your mistakes. One common mistake is when your child does something wrong, attacking the child rather than the bad behavior. Comments like “How could you be so stupid!” or You’re an idiot, you know that?” hurt to the quick and cause feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness that can soon become irreparable. The child comes away from the experience with a “why should I try to be good – I’ll just mess things up” attitude. When the child is wrong, show the child the error in what he has done – do not attempt to put the child at the center of this problem when it is the behavior that is the concern.
    Another side to this is when you have wrongly accused the child of something. Do not be so quick to judge that you fail to get all the facts. How many of us have wrongly accused someone of something only to find out later that the “guilty” party was innocent all along? Be sure you are correct in your accusations and if you do make a mistake, be sure to admit it to the child. Nothing will go farther to cement a relationship than when you apologize for mistakenly blaming your child for something. “Son, I am sorry I accused you of breaking the window. I did not know it was Billy. Please forgive me.” Will earn you tons of respect and admiration in his eyes. Follow it up with a big hug and a kis on the forehead and you have his heart for life!

The Family:
  God stated in Genesis, and Jesus repeated in Matthew: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
   Husbands are to have a pure and tender love for thier wives - a love that overlooks their wives' weaknesses without bitterness or anger. Husbands should look upon thier wives for what they are - special gifts from God, helpmeets to make them happy and to bring joy and contentment to their lives. "Whosover findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour in the Lord"Proverbs 18:22. When a husband loves his wife the way he should love her - the way God intends for him to love her - and gives her the honor and respect she deserves, he finds that his wife is more devoted to him and more willing to submit to his leadership rather than argue and resent his ruling over her. A man that treats his wife gently and tenderly "as the weaker vessel" and "cleaves unto her" completely will very rarely find his home in ruin.
   Women, if you revere and obey your husband the way God commands you to, you will find your heart filled with a deep-seated love which depends not on sexual attraction but blossoms out of your own character and position. You will find your husband cannot help but give you not only the thrill and passion of youth, but also the steadfast and steady passion of maturity and the respect and admiration only years together can provide.
   Men, if you find your house is not right, if your wife is rebellious and your children disobedient, if your home is not a happy and content place of refuge, just remember the words of God found in Numbers 32:23 where He said "be sure your sin will find you out". Men and women who rightfully take their proper place in the home and follow God's plan for marriage and for the home can expect rewards of virtue, blessings of God upon them and their children, and a love which does not whither away in the face of time.
   True happiness in marriage is based on faith. The faith a woman puts in her husband. A woman who does not trust her husband's decision-making enough to submit to those decisions will not find happiness in her submission and confidence in her husband. The faith the husband puts in God. A man who submits himself and his family to God's rule is a man whose home is blessed and whose life is joyful and complete. God must be at the very top of the household heirarchy if the rest of the "chain-of-command" is to operate properly.
   A lasting marriage is a marriage where the question of authority and responsibility has been settled properly. No marriage of sexual attraction or youthful good looks and passions is going to last. Hair turns white and passions ebb away. No frivilous love is going to stand the test of time, temper, poverty, and age. The lusts of youth will not last (and thankfully so in some cases!) and those intense feelings you once had for that special someone always settle down in time. Now whether they settle into a happy and content love that burns for a lifetime like a good bank of steady coals, or whether they burn up and die out like a flash of paper when ignited is up to you.

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    As I stated at the beginning of this page, the family unit is the basic building block of society and, like any construction, a good foundation is necessary in order to build a well constructed, lasting family. This foundation is found in God. God must be the basis upon which the family is built if it is to succeed. A solid Christian foundation will make for a stable family relationship. With God at the center of your family life, your relationships with each other will prosper, your relationship with Him will prosper, and your family life will be more content and peaceful. Your home will become a sanctuary from the outside world and all it's craziness.

    God is the foundation, The Bible is the blueprint, Jesus is the roof (keeping out the rains of life), and the Holy Spirit is the cement that holds everything together. Let any who do not agree with God's plan for the family weigh the matter very carefully before deciding to break any command about the home.

At the close of his will, Patrick Henry stated: "There is one thing more that I would like to leave my family - Christian faith. With that, they would be rich did I not leave them one shilling. Without that, they would be poor had I given them the whole world."

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