Standard Audience - there is no real blue or offensive language, apart from the gratuitous use of the word 'maxi-pad'.

Story set as gang begins to get ready for college.  It is mainly a Buffy and Xander story, focusing on Buffy and Xander trying to get their friendship back together and some Willow and Xander sorting some feelings out.  It is much the same style as a normal Buffy episode except without the excellent writing, scary monsters and plot direction.  This story does however contain many scientific impossibilities, historical inaccuracies and structural errors, as well as a veritable lack of long words.

Spoilers: I wrote this in the break between seasons, everything up to Grad 2, some spoilerish speculation included in my own way.
   

PART 1
 

[Shot of Sunnydale University, before beginning of semester.  Buffy, Willow and Oz are all walking together]

Willow: I can't believe we're in college.  Its like were grown up but still fancy free.

Buffy: Fancy free?  Hey do I have to remind you that were on a Hellmouth here and if we were fancy free you guys would be at Harvard and I wouldn't be stuck here fighting unspeakable demons.

Oz: I just can't believe the amount of times we've used the word 'fancy free'. (Gets given a look) I can't believe I'm in college now also, and I tried so hard not to get here.

Buffy: You guys thinking of joining any clubs?

Willow: Why would we want to do that?

Buffy: So we can meet new people, take up fun hobbies, and put down our names and addresses so we can be added to a database to be bombarded by piles of useless mail and pamphlets for the rest of our lives.

Willow: But you have people, you have us, we're people.

Oz: And a newer bunch of people you're not likely to find.  We are freshly picked off the tree, (to Willow) here smell my new lemon freshness.

Willow: (Smells Oz) I like you fresh.  (they kiss, this makes Buffy feel a bit awkward and down)

Buffy: You know what I mean about the new thing.

Willow: (Turns back) Yeah but Buffy all the new people we meet tend to have a tendency to die or turn into monsters, and besides, what could be a funner hobby than vampire slaying?

Oz: But if you find danger fun, then try the chess club, those games always end up with all-in brawls.

Willow: So has anyone heard from Xander yet, he should have been back by now?

Buffy: Sssh.... Will, you'll jinx it, mention his name and he's bound to return soon.  (Grins)  Nah, I miss the Xand man, heard anything from his folks?

Willow: No, I haven't seen them lately.

Oz: Xander has parents?

Buffy: Apparently.

Oz: I heard that he was raised by chickens.

Buffy: Oh yeah Oz, Xander's the mysterious one!

Willow: Well I'm not ashamed to admit it, I miss my friend.  It's weird we've never been apart for more than two weeks since we were five.

Buffy: Yeah the Scooby Gang isn't the same without him.  Every group needs a dumb guy.

Willow: Speaking of dumb guys, look at some of these clubs, the hotdog lovers club, the Jennifer Love Hewitt stalkers club.

Buffy: Ooh, and over there the Pizza, beer and Liederhosen club.  What's that over there? A Free Tibet information stall?

Oz: What's wrong with the Free Tibet movement?

Buffy: Nothing.

Oz: It's very 'in' in the music scene at the moment and since I'm almost part of the music scene, I'm gonna sign up and give my support.

Willow: Me too, I'm almost in the music scene as well.  I'm like a groupie going steady.

Buffy: OK, I'll sign up too as long as it doesn't involve me conducting an undercover guerrilla raid on China to free some hostages, cause I'm all booked up till next summer.

(Group walks over to the stall and walks up behind a guy in a Tibetan monk's robe)
Oz: Umm… Excuse me. (Guy turns around and low and behold its Xander)

Buffy: Xander?

Willow: Xander?

Oz: (Glances at the girls)  Just in case you didn't get the first two messages - Xander?

Xander: (Has a surprised look on his face and smiles) Yes I think you've confirmed my name guys?  How have you all been?

Buffy: Xander, what have you umm...

Willow: Where have ya...

Xander: Yeah it's great to see you guys again as well, but please don't get too excited to have me back.

Girls: Ooh sorry.  (Buffy and Willow step forward and give him hugs)

Xander: (Expectantly) Oz?

Oz: You're not copping a feel offa me!

Xander: Oh come on, I've missed that wolfie goodness.

Oz: (Gives him an icy stare, then smiles and shakes hands)  Good to have you back.

Buffy: When did you get back in town?

Willow: Where have you been?

Oz: No, most importantly, what's with the funky robe?

Xander: Patience.  (to Oz) Your questions will be answered in time grasshopper.  (To Buffy) I actually got back a few days ago.

Willow: And you didn't bother to find us? (somewhat offended)

Xander: Well I've been busy organizing stuff and I just assumed you guys would probably have been killed by monsters without me.  After all I was the 'glue' that held this group together.

Buffy: (Giggles)  Oh yeah? It just so happens we got a replacement for you in the form of a trained monkey.  Bubbles is a lot less annoying as well.

Willow: Still eats just as much though.  (Grins) I repeat for the third time, what did you get up to?

Xander: Well it's a long story.  Here goes.  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

Buffy: Xander!

Xander: OK.  Well you remember how I went of on my Kerouc style road trip to discover myself.

Gang: Yeah.

Xander: And you remember how I was never good with the book learning?

Gang: Yeah.

Xander: Well I had a bit of trouble working out from the books how to discover myself.  So I did what I always do in this situation when I can't understand a book.

Willow: You went to the Blockbuster?

Xander: Bingo, but I couldn't find a copy of the video there, so I ended up getting out 'Seven Days in Tibet' starring the oh so hunkilicious Brad Pitt.  Upon seeing that it inspired me to change direction and find myself a new calling, in a new country, with a new religion.

Willow: Xander, what were you thinking?

Oz: What were you smoking?

Xander: Yeah I know...Brad Pitt isn't really all that!

Buffy: Boy the Scooby Gang has got their 'dumb guy' back... with interest.

Xander: I then decided I'd come a fair way in this country and needed a change of scenery, besides I had reached the outskirts of the Amish country.  So happily I skipped off to live with the Buddhist monks in Tibet to get the spiritual guidance I needed.

Oz: You're just lucky you didn't hire out 'Red Corner' starring the also very striking Richard Gere or you could have woken up with a dead hooker in China.

Xander: Actually I wished I hired out 'Boogie Nights' then I could have found my true calling.

Buffy: Are you serious?  (gets looks)  Not about the porno thing I mean the Tibet thing? (Xander nods yes)

Willow: What was it like in Tibet, did you meet the Dalai Lama?

Xander: Oh no, the Dalai Lama doesn't make many public appearances and the queues were a mile long for autographs at his book launch.

Willow: So did you learn anything?

Xander: Oh Will, it was a wonderful exchange of ideas and cultures.  They taught me the ancient art of Tai Chi, I taught them the exciting new craze of Tae Bo.  And may I say a bunch of steelier butts and abs I have not seen.  (Giggles)

Oz: Did you stay with the chanting monks?

Xander: Oh yeah those guys are cool, you should see how many groupies they get.  Anyway I've really found a new direction and I now have a great deal of inner peace.

Willow: Really?  You do know Angel and Cordy are back in town?

Xander: (Screams) Nooooooo!.  To hell with the inner peace.

Willow: I was just kidding.

Xander: Yeah I know, but I've had enough of this anyway, I've been responsible for three months and I want to join a frat house now.

Willow: But your not attending college.

Xander: That's a minor detail.

Oz: So true, not studying at a college is a minor issue in the face of parties, beer and orgies.  (Willow gives him a look)  But of course Willow is a major factor in making these kind of decisions.  (Willow melts due to Oz's coolness and cuteness)

Xander: But guys I am attending college!

Buffy: You are?

Xander: Well this college doesn't have a very strict admission policy and there's usually a lot of vacancies after half the graduating class from the local high school are wiped out by demons.

Buffy: OK well there's obviously not much new with you then Xander? (Everyone's shocked)

Xander: So what's new with you guys then?

Buffy: Nothing much, compared to 'The amazing adventures of Xander' anyway.

Oz: So did you get the head shaved and everything?

Xander: No Oz they shaved my head but not *everything* else! (Laughs)

Oz: (Thinking out loud) Xander with a shaved head, now that's a must see.

Xander: Don't push it Oz, with Angel and Cordelia gone, I'm looking for someone else to torment with my degrading remarks, harsh words and cutting sarcasm.

Willow: I'll take the degrading remarks then.

Buffy: Ooh...  harsh words for me.

Oz: That leaves me receiving the cutting sarcasm.

Xander: Do you want gross exaggerations with that?

Oz: Please, and with extra angst.

Xander: So what else have ya guys been up to?

Buffy: Nothing really, there really seems to be a distinct lack of hellmouth action during summer break, have you ever noticed that?

Willow: We do still have to find a new war council base, one closer to campus.

Buffy: Yeah its been really crowded in Giles' living room and besides the place smells like Old Spice.

Xander: I know a suitable place, how about setting up base at a strip club?

Buffy: That's disgusting, what did you go to some really seedy places on your travels?

Xander: Oh just Amsterdam, but I mean we should setup HQ at a place with a ready made cage to keep Oz-wolf therefore - Strip Club!

Buffy: Xander be serious, we do need a new base.

Xander: Well as if I can help with this one.  All I ask is you just make sure its not too far away from the donut shop. (gang nod in agreement)  So what's the G-man been doing with himself?

Buffy: He's applying for a job as librarian at the college.  It's a bit harder to get everything organized without the Watchers' Council pulling some strings.

Xander: Whatever happened to those wacky guys?

Buffy: I think they are looking for new jobs that experience in being uptight, ignorant and English 24/7 is an essential requirement.

Oz: Uptight?  I always pictured the Watchers' council as being pretty cool.  Like the Jedi Council, with green long-necked things and cool Samuel L. Jackson guys.

Willow: (To Xander) You know that Faith's still in a coma?

Buffy: I still can't work out if that's a good or a bad.

Xander: Does that mean your back to being 'the only slayer'?

Buffy: Yeah as far as I know there aren't anymore running around, but you never know.

[Cut to Spike at underground lab]

Spike: (To professor) So are you going to be able to perform the task I want.

Professor: Yes, but you must bring me the ingredients I need.

Spike: Oh I'll bring it, then the fun will begin and Dru will be mine again.  This town needs me back, it has lost the distinctive smell of death which gave the town its character.  Time to return Sunnydale to its glory days, Oh yeah I'm back, back by popular demand!

[Cut back to group at college minus Buffy]

Xander: Maybe I should visit Faith?

Willow: What are you feeling a bit randy again? (Gets a look from Xander implying that was uncalled for)  I'm sorry, but it still begs the question - why?

Xander: Well I know she's in a coma and all, but I have a 100% record of entering a room immediately resulting in the female rushing straight out. (Grins)  If Faith does the same from a coma, then I know I'm definitely cursed.

Willow: Xander, you're not cursed.

Xander: What are you saying, that I'm to blame for all my lack of success in relationships?

Willow: Yes.... No..... (looks at Oz for back-up)  Kind of?

Oz: Let's not discount the curse thing. Have you guys forgotten where we live, and that some of us aren't exactly your regular Joe Citizen?  (Xander gets a worried look on his face)

[Cut to Buffy talking to Giles in his living room]

Buffy: So how did it go?

Giles: I should say it went satisfactorily.

Buffy: So you got the job?  That's great!

Giles: Well yes to put it simply.

Buffy: You're putting it simply?  First time for everything I guess. So is there somewhere around here to set up HQ?

Giles: No I haven't found a place yet, but I'm sure there'll be a suitable residence for my books, weapons and various slaying paraphernalia.

Buffy: Okay then.  By the way Xander is back in town.

Giles: That's nice.

Buffy: Whoa the emotion, it's overwhelming there Giles.

Giles: I'm glad you have your friend back Buffy, but nonetheless it is *Xander*.  It doesn't exactly warrant myself to do a Mary Poppins dance.

Buffy: Oh come on, admit it.  You missed your special little guy, you know he looks up to you like a father.  And besides you like the fact that he annoys you.  It gives you an excuse to become Mr Cranky Pants.

Giles: Fine,  I'll do the Mary Poppins dance if it make you happy.  (Giles jumps in the air and clicks his heels together.  Buffy laughs)

Buffy: Alright, I've had enough of sweating with the oldies for one day, do you need me to patrol tonight?

Giles: Yes indeed.

Buffy: See ya.

[Cut to the hospital, Xander and Willow are visiting Faith.  Xander is swinging a pocket watch in front of Faith's face trying to hypnotize her]

Xander: You are very sleepy.   (To Will)  Hey it's working good so far!  (To Faith) When I click my fingers you will wake up and remember nothing of what happened, and you will dance like a chicken.

Willow: Xander.

Xander: Just trying to get my own back here Will.  (Xander snaps his fingers, nothing happens)  Sorry, I've done all I can for her.

Willow: That's a shame, let's go and grab a bite.

Xander: So has there been any progress since I left?

Willow: Oh yeah Xander, look at her, isn't it obvious.  She has competing in triathalons since you left, but then she decided its sleepy time again.  (Xander gives her a look)  Well if you count less drooling as progress, then yes.

Xander: So she may never snap out of it?  (Willow nods)  What do you think would happen if she did recover?

Willow: I don't know, she's burnt bridges with her family and friends, if she ever had any to begin with.  But I think Buffy still feels a connection between them so she might be able to get her back on track.  (They start walking out)  So what did Alexander Harris learn on his journey into the unknown?

Xander: That if a trucker drops his change in front of you in a diner, don't pick it up.

Willow: I meant about your feelings and your goals in life.

Xander: I learnt that I missed you heaps Will, and it's important for me that you are in my life.

Willow: Xander, we've been through this already.

Xander: Oh no, I didn't mean like that, I meant that I need some adult supervision to get through life without unnecessary injury or incarceration.  It was so unusual not having you there to talk to.  It made me realize how dumb I really am.  I had no one to look after me and remind me that eating lead paint is bad.

Willow: Yeah it was so weird not having you around.  We haven't been separated anywhere near that length of time since we first met.

Xander: I really missed you.

Willow: But you didn't miss me as much as you missed Buffy?  (Willow looks away)

Xander: I don't know Will, I thought about her all the time, but I mean nothing to her, and I realised the fact that I can't get over her is not good for me.

Willow: You don't mean nothing to Buffy.  But I do know how bad it feels to play second fiddle.

Xander: Yeah, but I'm not even playing 'second' fiddle, I'm not playing any fiddle, I'm left right out, I'm playing the piano accordion!  I just hate the fact that I think about her all the time, I've risked my hide for her, I've always been there for her when she needs me.  She's almost everything to me, and I mean zero to her.

Willow: She's everything to you?

Xander: Well apart form you Will, but that goes without saying.  The equation for me is 'Everything - Willow = Buffy'

Willow: Even if it goes without saying, it still feels good to actually hear the words once in a while.  So I guess it goes with saying... I think. (has a confused look on her face)

Xander: Of course you mean a lot to me Will, you're pretty much my only friend left.

Willow: Not true!  Buffy and Oz are still here.

Xander: Yeah but Buffy and I aren't as tight as we used to be, and do you think I could talk to Oz about personal stuff?  Hell you've been going out with the guy for over a year and you still don't even know his last name yet.

Willow: (Grins) I don't think he has one.  It's probably a musician thing, or for taxation purposes or something.  Anyway I'm sure you can still talk to Buffy about things.

Xander: Not about this.

Willow: Maybe, maybe not.  (moment of uncomfortable silence)  So how do feel about the other gal in Xander Harris' life?

Xander: Who?  You mean Cordelia?  I don't know, it's certainly going to be weird without her around annoying people.

Willow: I'm sure you can manage to annoy people just as much as Cordy did if you put your mind to it.  (Grins)

Xander: I do wish I missed Cordy more though.  I think I might have took her for granted.  At least she saw something in me.  But no, idiot boy Xander keeps longing for someone who hasn't seen anything special in me.

Willow: Buffy sees plenty in you and maybe one day she'll see everything I do.  But don't fret over it, if it happens it happens, but don't let it run your whole life.

Xander: Thanks for that, good talk Will.  You're the best.

Willow: 25 of America's top colleges can't be wrong.

Xander: So how has the Buffster been anyway?  (Gets look)  I'm asking that in a not letting run my life kind of way.

Willow: You know as expected, she's been quite mopey since the Angel saga.  I've been worried about her.

[Cut to Buffy patrolling, she is walking through the graveyard and looks very bored, lonely and down]

Buffy: (To herself)  Boy have things been slow.  No vamps at all.  Is there a special undead Olympics going on at the moment? (Spike walks around from in front of a tombstone)

Spike: Well I decided to come here once I found out the medals weren't made out of chocolate.  After that I wasn't interested.  Besides in the long distance events, the drink stations with the plastic cups of blood make a terrible mess.

Buffy: Spike.

Spike: That's right.  Boy you are a bright spark now you're going to college cutie.

Buffy: Well I knew the distinct smell of cheap gin and bitter rejection could only mean one thing.

Spike: (Angrily)  I don't need anyone.  Anyway I'm sure you have missed me, with your boyfriend gone and all I'm sure you could do with good ol' Uncle Spike's shoulder to cry on.

Buffy: Fair enough then, I've got a spare 30 seconds to dust ya.  [They begin to fight, they rush each other and exchange a few punches. Buffy begins to get on top with a spinning heel kick, before the usual repartee.]  Welcome back to Sunnydale, are you enjoying the warm hospitality?

Spike: I was hoping for a lap dance and a few pints, but some gratuitous violence will hit the spot.  You must still miss your precious Angel, but don't worry I'm not an animal like him.  I'll always be here, watching over you, I'll never leave.  (This gets Buffy distracted, thinking of Angel.  Spike draws a knife and manages to cut Buffy on the arm.)

Buffy: Oww, what kind of girly vamp are you, you need weapons now?  What are you going to pull my hair next? (Spike proceeds to pull at Buffy's hair.  Buffy backhands him in the face, then kicks him to the ground.  Spike quickly bounces back up and makes a hasty exit.  Buffy walks away clutching her arm)  Boy there's just no honour in battles to the death anymore.  (Buffy walks back sombrely, probably with Angel on her mind.)
 

PART 2
 

[Cut to Giles' house where Giles is helping Buffy bandage her wound]

Giles: So Spike has returned to Sunnydale?

Buffy: Yep Spike's back, and now with added girliness.

Giles: Sorry?

Buffy: It just seemed weird that he confronted me down in the cemetery, then cut me, and then ran off like a sissy girl.

Giles: Well I presume it is just his way of announcing to you that he is back in town.

Buffy: Like he's marking out his territory?

Giles: Quite possibly  (finishes wrapping bandage)  That should keep.  But maybe we should research to make sure it is not part of a demon ritual.

Buffy: Yep sure, I'll get the gang over.

[Cut to Spike]

Professor: So you've got the samples.

Spike: Of course, when do I get my toy?

Professor: Patience.  It may take a while.

Spike: Remember to add the secret herbs and spices, I have very specific tastes.

Professor: OK, I'll just put this on simmer for a couple of days and it should be done.

Spike: But I want it now, don't you have one that you prepared earlier?

[Cut to research at Giles' house - the whole gang is there]

Oz: So what are we actually looking for here?

Buffy: Any ritual that involves a freak slicing me with a knife.

Xander: Maybe he bought one of those infomercial knives that can cut through shoes and stuff, and he just wanted to test if it was sharp.

Giles: We're looking to see if there is any ritual that requires a small amount of a slayer's blood.  (Giles goes to the kitchen to get refreshments)

Xander: Maybe he's got a new job.  He could need the blood to test the absorption levels in the core of sphagnum for maxi-pads.

Buffy: That's disgusting.

Xander: Have you missed the dirty talk?

Buffy: Oh yeah, like a hole in the head.

Willow: What exactly happened when he attacked you Buffy?

Buffy: He just approached me in the graveyard, we had the usual slayer/vampire banter, big fight, he pulled knife, sliced and diced, pulled my hair, then ran home to mommy.

Oz: It's not very manly, you shouldn't do that.

Xander: Oh you can do that, as long as when you're running home to mommy the pointy end of the knife is facing backwards.  (Turns his attention to the TV, then yells)  Come quickly Giles we've got a problem here!

Giles: (Rushing into the room)  What is it?

Xander: The remote control for your TV isn't working.

Giles: Yes I realize that Xander.

Xander: You've never switched this thing over from the Weather Channel have you?

Willow: (Getting the conversation back on track)  So he pulled your hair Buffy, as well as slashing you..... maybe he could have been collecting a sample off you?

Buffy: A sample? Like for a drug test. Oh no my olympic dream could be ruined.

Giles: Willow, do you believe that Spike may be attempting to clone Buffy?

Willow: Well it's possible, umm...but there must be another explanation.

Buffy: (worried) Another explanation, yes there must be.

Willow: I wouldn't worry too much Buffy, Spike doesn't strike me as a vamp that's up with technology.

Giles: Yes I must agree, but even if he is planning to clone Buffy, it will wake a long time to complete the process, if he even can complete it successfully at all.

Xander: (under his breath) Clone Buffy, now why didn't I think of that?

Buffy: There's going to be Buffy's running around everywhere?

Xander: You never really got over the 'I'm not that only slayer' thing did you?

Giles: Let's not lose perspective here people, this could be serious, but on the other hand we may be jumping to conclusions.

Willow: Why would Spike want to clone Buffy?

Giles: Well there could be many possible reasons.

Buffy: What, he wants his own me, that he can control?

Giles: I wouldn't be too concerned just yet, it would be an another thing entirely to control a clone, let alone create one.  Besides a cloned slayer will be no match for you Buffy.  It would have your strength, but it would be untrained at fighting and its movements less than fluent.

Buffy: (Sarcastically) Oh that's very comforting.

Willow: What should we do?

Giles: We do not know for sure what Spike's intentions are, therefore he could be anywhere.  Willow and Oz you stay here with me to research any possible ritual Spike may be performing.  Xander you go with Buffy and see if you can find Spike's lair.  [Gets nods of agreement from gang, Buffy and Xander get up to leave]

[Cut to Buffy and Xander walking through the streets, Xander tries to break the silence with some meaningless small talk]

Xander: So umm...hey have we got a new mayor yet?

Buffy: Yeah I think so, anything would have to be an improvement. (awkward grin)

Xander: That's why all people in political office should be either movie stars or former pro wrestlers. (No reaction from Buffy)

Xander: So umm...what's the new mayor's name?

Buffy: (dismissively) Don't know.

Xander: I heard the new mayor is Mayor McCheese. (Buffy isn't with it)

Buffy: OK, I think we've searched enough for one night, time to head home.  (start heading back)

[Xander tries yet again to cheer up Buffy]

Xander: Maybe we're going about this the wrong way.  How about you bang on a tin of blood, while I call him. (out loud) Here Spikey, Spikey, Spikey!

Buffy: (Cuttingly) Can't believe that one didn't work.

Xander: What's up Buff? I just gave you 3 A-grade top quality piping-hot jokes from the Xander Harris collection and I'm still getting the cold shoulder here.

Buffy: Sorry my mind's elsewhere.

Xander: Yeah I kind of noticed that.  Is it about this possible Second Buffy theory?

Buffy: Oh no, why would my mortal enemy trying to clone me, possibly wig me out?

Xander: Don't worry about it Buff, I'm sure Spike would not be able to clone a human, he can't even keep a Chiapet alive.

Buffy: Yeah but what if he can do it.  What if there are clones of me running around all over the place?

Xander: Well speaking for myself, if that day comes I'll be delighted and I shall declare it a national holiday and call it 'Buffy Day' and rename this country 'Buffy Land'.

Buffy: Xander? (almost managing a smile)

Xander: Sorry Buff, I've had this dream too many times before.  Nah but seriously Buff, its not gonna happen.

Buffy: How do you know?

Xander: I'm no scientific expert, but I do know that a bit of your blood and hair cannot be used to duplicate you.  There are way too many unique aspects about you that make you the amazing person that you are.  I don't just mean your slayer powers, everything about you.  I am positive that science cannot duplicate what I see in front of me....even with a really expensive home chemistry kit. (giggles)  You are and always will be one of a kind.

Buffy: Thanks Xander, when did you become quite the sweet talker?

Xander: I took a sweet talking course in the summer run by Mike Tyson.  (pauses)  Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead here, but how are you with the Angel thing?

Buffy: (awkwardly) Yeah you probably should have quit just then.

Xander: What do you...

Buffy: Xander please I don't want to talk about it, especially not with you, you surely understand why?

Xander: Oh yeah, I'm hearing you crystal clear here. You're saying that I'm not a good friend to you.  I'm not worthy to know your feelings and problems.

Buffy: No not at all, but you've never been helpful with the Angel thing.

Xander: Yeah I'm sorry, and I'm the first to admit that I wasn't overly helpful, but why should have I been?  It's not as if you ever went out of your way to help me out with my relationships.

Buffy: Well at least I never verbally attacked you about them.

Xander: So just because you didn't have a vein popping out of your neck when you badmouthed my girlfriends, it doesn't mean you weren't attacking them...and me.

Buffy: I never did such a thing, besides would that give you the right to make my life miserable like you have?

Xander: Oh how, prey tell have I made your life miserable?

Buffy: You're kidding right?  Are you telling me you don't know?  Gee Xander are you really that dense?  Every chance you got you have been on my back about Angel.

Xander: Oh I forgot, that's right.  I've always been there when you needed me and risked my neck for you countless times, but still the only thing you think is relevant is the fact that I don't like Angel.

Buffy: That's not true.

Xander: Oh, I think it is, and if I get you angry every time I'm trying to be your friend, I think its best I don't hang around with you as much from now on.

Buffy: Xander, you don't mean that.  Now....

Xander: (Xander cuts her off)  Yes I do, and for the first time ever,  I think I actually won an argument with you.

Buffy: No you haven't, this isn't over yet.

Xander: I'm afraid it is Buffy.  Now if you don't mind I'm going to bask in the afterglow of my moral victory here.  If you need me, which I'm sure you won't, I will be lying on my bed smoking a cigarette, enjoying the moment.  (Xander leaves in a mocking fashion, while Buffy shakes her head in a manner that indicates that was the last thing she needed)

[Cut to Willow at Xander's house]

Willow: So did you guys find Spike?

Xander: (sighs) No we came out a big donut on that one.

Willow: So did you manage to cheer Buffy up at all?

Xander: Sorry?  What do you mean Will?

Willow: Giles was hoping you could cheer Buffy up, that's why he sent you to go with her.

Xander: Well I could have succeeded.  Do you think getting in to a big argument with me could have possibly cheered Buffy up?

Willow: Xander what happened?  You mentioned Angel didn't you?

Xander: Yeah I did, but not in a demeaning way or anything, I didn't even refer to him as dead boy.  I just asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she just did her usual 'you wouldn't understand' routine.  She thinks I don't know what its like to feel pain inside.  It just eats me up inside that Angel means so much to her that she feels the need to be miserable 24/7, and I mean so little to her that she won't even let me cheer her up or talk to her about her problems.

Willow: Well we all feel pain inside, but sometimes Buffy feels alone.  Even though she isn't, she's been through a lot so we just have to try to be there for her when she needs our help.  She also thinks I don't understand what she's going through, that's just her nature, but I do understand, and most of the time I think you do as well.  When she wants to move on, she is going to need us and that's when we should be there for her, she will want us with her.  You don't mean zero to her, just remember she's still very sensitive about the Angel issues.

Xander: Yeah I know, but I was just trying to cheer her up and help her out.  I don't know why I bothered.

Willow: You bothered because you love her and care about her Xander, like we all do.

Xander: But why does she have a problem about letting me help her?

Willow: Maybe she thinks you have grown too much apart of late, you weren't exactly bestest buds during senior year.  Well, whatever her problem is, it's not your problem, just try and be there when she needs you.

Xander: Actually I think you are right, it's not my problem.  My problem is that I care about her too much.  I've thought about what you said earlier about how you said I shouldn't let the thing with Buffy run my life, and I've decided I should have a trial separation from the scooby gang.

Willow: But Xander you can't leave the scooby gang, you coined the name yourself, without you we lose our Scoobiness.

Xander: Hmm… You are right again Will, I did coin that phrase.  But why couldn't I coin a phrase I could make some money out of, like funkilicious?

Willow: Xander?
 
Xander: But, yeah I can leave, I checked it up in one of the watchers' volumes.  I can leave the group, but there is an uninitiation ceremony.  It involves removing all my scooby gang tattoos, handing in my colors and having my testicles crushed between two bricks.

Willow: Xander, be serious!

Xander: Relax I'm not going over to the dark side Will, and I'll still be hanging out with you, I just think it'd be best for everyone if I kept my distance from Buffy and various Buffy related activities for the time being.

Willow: Just because you got off on the wrong foot with Buffy since you got back doesn't mean you should bail on us.  Buffy's going to need you to help her with the healing process sooner or later Xander.

Xander: Will, I really hope Buffy will cheer up soon and get on with her life, but she made it clear she doesn't want me to help.  Besides I need to get on with my own life, instead of just hanging on to the periphery of others' lives all the time.

Willow: I think you should think this over thoroughly before you rush into a decision.

Xander: I have thought about this, I thought about it all during my trip and came to the conclusion that I need to get myself a life instead of clinging on to Buffy's.  Besides it's not as if you guys need me.

Willow: …

Xander: Yeah, I thought I wouldn't get a response on that one.  I'm not going to abandon you guys or anything, and if on the rare occasion you guys do need me, you know where to find me.

Willow: But we do need you Xander, you are very important to the group.  We don't function the same without you.

Xander: Sorry Will, I have to do this.  It will be for my own good, until I sort some things out.
 

PART 3
 

[Cut to Willow talking to Buffy the next day]

Willow: What happened with Xander last night Buffy?  I hear it wasn't exactly happy families.

Buffy: What did Xander say to you Will?

Willow: He just said he brought up the Angel subject, you weren't happy about it, big argument and so on.

Buffy: Well that sounds like an accurate description of events.

Willow: He said he thinks he should spend less time in the scooby gang.

Buffy: That's fair enough, we don't really need him.

Willow: What's the matter with the two of you? Why are you fighting all the time?

Buffy: He was just annoying me about the Angel issues.

Willow: He said he was just trying to be your friend Buffy, and we all thought that he'd cheer you up.

Buffy: Be my friend, that's a joke!  When was the last time he tried to be my friend?  And I don't need cheering up, I'm fine, really.  Besides, Xander is the last person I need to cheer me up.  Hey, there's another thing he failed.

Willow: Come on Buffy, I know you've had your arguments, but I'm sure he just wants to make you happy.  He thinks the sun shines out of your… (Buffy raises her eyebrow at Will)  Umm…he thinks the world of you Buffy.

Buffy: I know Will, I know his heart is in the right place, but he can really get on my nerves sometimes.  Look, I know I haven't been the chirpiest lately, but I can do without people on my back all of the time.  I'll deal.

Willow: But you haven't been dealing Buffy, it's been over three months and there haven't been many happy, fun, playtime Buffy sightings in that time.

Buffy: But Will…

Willow: Buffy I know you've had a hard time of it, but we're here for you and we just want to see Happy Buffy.

Buffy: But Xander wasn't here when I needed him.  He was off gallivanting through God knows where.

Willow: Oh, so that's what this is all about.  You can't expect him to be around all the time, you can't expect any of us to always be here.  But we are here now, so don't go pushing us away while we are here.  Go and see him, you should be able to have a conversation like civilized human beings, you aren't savages.  But than again Xander does eat a lot with his hands.  You better take the tranquilizer gun just in case. (giggles)

Buffy: No I won't need it, I'll just slap him silly if he pipes up this time. (grins)

[Cut to Spike and the Professor]

Spike: I want my play toy and I want it now.

Professor: Calm down, I'm working it on it, and you're not helping.  Can't you knit a sweater or read a Cosmo while you are waiting?

Spike:  Who are you telling to calm down?  I could rip your head off your body in the blink of an eye you know?

Professor: Am I supposed to be impressed Spike?

Spike: Are you asking for a demonstration by Spike, your friendly neighborhood Avon representative?  Because I have some exciting new methods of torture in our latest Fall product line.

Professor: (Very calmly) Do I really have to remind you that you still need me for your project?

Spike: You think you are so smart just because you wear a white coat and have beady little eyes?  I bet any 10 year old kid with a home chemistry kit could do your job.

Professor: Do you think you are so tough just because you are dead?  You think you are evil just because you have been drinking blood for about a hundred years?   Well let me enlighten you Spike, you may be older than me, but I've lived on the hellmouth for longer than you have and seen all the evil it can dish out.  You think all these daemons are the ultimate evil, you have a look around and see what some humans are capable of, then you might get an idea of what evil actually is.

Spike: Oh that's touching.  I'm getting all teary-eyed here.  Just get on with it already.

Professor: What you do, you do to survive.  Sure it is accomplished in an evil manner, but in reality you are merely just higher up on the food chain.  Human's commit genocide simply for money and power, now those are evil motives, your motives are far more pure.

Spike: Well I'm still higher up on the food chain than you are.  You just remember that when you hear me get the tummy rumbles.

Professor: A word of warning, you don't have too many friends around here Spike, tread carefully.

[Cut to Buffy at Xander's house]

Buffy: Hey Xander, can I come in?

Xander: Hey, is there big evil brewing?

Buffy: Um no, nothing you don't already know about.

Xander: So I take it you're here for Round two of our argument then?

Buffy: Damn straight. (They both snicker awkwardly)  Willow said you weren't going to spend much time around us anymore.

Xander: Yep, what Willow says is normally right.

Buffy: So what has made you come to this decision?  Was it because of our little fight yesterday?

Xander: No Buff, I kind of made a conscious decision to cut down on my scooby gang activities when I was on my road trip.  But needless to say, that argument didn't help any.

Buffy: But yet you find the need to say it.  So why do you want to leave us?
 
Xander: It's just an issue of independence Buffy, I truly feel like I've been hanging on to you guys too much and have been getting in the way.

Buffy: You've never been in our way.  Sure, you've almost needlessly got yourself killed a few times, but you haven't interfered too much with my slaying.  (Xander doesn't know how to respond to that)  So you are just going to abandon your friends is that it?

Xander: Gee, that sounds familiar.  Where have I heard something like that before?

Buffy: Xander, that was an entirely different set of circumstances. (Getting very angry now)

Xander: Well it worked for you, so I thought I might have a crack at it myself.

Buffy: That's harsh Xander, it hasn't taken you long to start up with the cheap shots on me again, you've only been back a couple of days.  Are you trying to make up for lost time?

Xander: Oh yeah Buffy, I guess everything I do is just to piss you off.

Buffy: Well lately its been seeming that way.

Xander: That's all you ever notice isn't it?  You only ever remember the arguments and the stupid things I do, never the helpful stuff.

Buffy: Well that's not entirely true, there are just too many stupid things you've done for me to remember them all.

Xander: Fine OK.  I mean nothing to you, so just leave me to my own devices and head off.

(They both have fire in their eyes now, they know they have probably gone past the point of no return now and neither refuses to step down.  They realize they are probably hurting each other, but can't help it and continue insulting the other person.  Things are so heated they aren't even thinking before they open their mouths now.)

Buffy: Well I'm sorry if I think our friendship is worth saving, but I'm beginning to think otherwise.

Xander: That's becoming blatantly obvious.

Buffy: Well I hate to say it Xander, but you've hardly been the bestest bud in the world for the last year.

Xander: Well Buffy I'm sorry I haven't been a great friend to you lately, but when was the last time you were a great friend to me?  It was always me who had to be there for you, but when have you ever been there for me?  I know you are the slayer and you are always busy and all, but in case you haven't noticed I have problems also and I don't exactly have a truckload of friends around here.

Buffy: I know your life isn't easy either, but I can't see how I can be there for you when you are trying to shut me out of your life?

Xander: That's not what I'm doing I need time alone to figure things out.

Buffy: What? Three months on the road by yourself was not long enough to figure things out?  Xander you really are slow on the uptake.

Xander: I thought I had things sorted out, but events upon my return have lead me to believe otherwise.  Besides you've had three months and you still haven't sorted your problems out.

Buffy: And exactly what is that supposed to mean?

Xander: Hmm, who is slow on the uptake now?

Buffy: Look I can really do without this, when did this become my problem anyway?

Xander: Well precisely, see you around.

Buffy: Could you possibly make this anymore difficult on me?  My mortal enemy is back in town with a sudden genetic engineering fetish, and I'm here trying to get you reinitiated in to the group.

Xander: Well Buffy, from what I've seen you seem to get off on the fact that you are the only person with such a tough life, so I'm glad I've done my bit to make it tougher for you.  Besides, you've made it tougher than it had to be.

Buffy: Yeah I guess if I took more of your advice, I could be the huge success of a person you have become today.

Xander: Hey I don't expect you to listen to what I have to say, you've never taken me seriously before, I don't expect you to start now.

Buffy: No, I'm ready for it, why don't you be my agony aunt and tell me how I should handle it?  After all, all of your relationships have ended up peachy.

Xander: Well its not as if my supposed friends ever helped out and supported my relationships.  I mean so little to you, you couldn't even find time to take the slightest interest.  You can't even find time to hang out with me because you are so depressed about your boyfriend.  What am I supposed to do?

Buffy: Oh I see, it's the jealousy thing again, that always keeps popping up with you doesn't it?

Xander: OK, I'm jealous, I admit it.  But I wish I wasn't jealous, its not exactly an enjoyable feeling, being jealous of someone, so I can't help that. But if you were a true friend you wouldn't use that as a weapon against me every time we have an argument.

Buffy: I'm sorry, but when it is pertinent to the situation, I have no choice but to bring it up.

Xander: That has nothing to do with this conversation, I'm sorry but I feel if a friend doesn't even give the slightest consideration to my feelings, I have a right to feel upset.  So please don't ever use that as a jealousy thing against me, I couldn't believe how you could possibly bring that up in front of everyone when we had your intervention.  Were you actively trying to break Cordy and I up by doing that or what?  I guess you thought I might have shown a hint of happiness in my life and you wanted to stamp it out immediately huh?

Buffy: Hey you backed me into a corner.  But I'm beginning to think you are right, you do have a lot of things you need to sort out.  OK, I have crazy evil to take care of.  I'll leave you to it.

Xander: Exactly.  Take care.  (Buffy leaves)

[Buffy is walking back to Giles' from Xander's and notices something strange moving in the alley.  She follows what appears to be a small, scrawny looking human in to an abandoned warehouse.  Here she notices a makeshift laboratory inside the warehouse.  She hears from talking from the shadows and then manages to glimpse the man meeting with Spike and a small group of vampires.  Buffy sneaks out and heads straight to Giles' house.]

[Cut to meeting at Giles' house, all of the gang except for Xander are in attendance]

Buffy: I think I've found where Spike's hideout is.

Willow: Where is it exactly?

Buffy: In an abandoned warehouse near the Bronze.

Oz: It's always an abandoned warehouse, there really should be a listing of all abandoned warehouses available somewhere.

Buffy: So do we have a plan?

Giles: I'm not quite sure the most suitable way to handle this situation.

Buffy: Well there was a couple of vamps and a human scientist there with him.  But I still vote for the me beat him into a pulp plan.

Giles: Do you think you should wait for the day so we can further investigate what his plans in the laboratory are?

Buffy: No, I'd much rather face him now.  I wouldn't want him to have extra time to conduct more little tests or whatever they are doing in there.

Giles: Fair enough.

Willow: Can we do anything to help?

Buffy: I'll be fine thanks Will.

Willow: Did you speak to Xander?

Buffy: Yeah we spoke for a bit, then I left before things started to get thrown around the room.

Willow: This isn't good, but I'm sure everything will be hunky-dory again soon.

Giles: Yes Buffy, you should not worry about it and concentrate on the job at hand.  I may go speak to Xander if you wish.

Buffy: OK Giles, I'm off.
 

PART 4
 

[Cut to Spike's Laboratory.  Buffy enters the lab and is taken back and visibly shocked at first from what she sees.  She tries to take a moment to gather her thoughts.  She is then noticed by Spike, who is looking quite manly in a pair of very manly leather pants]

Spike: Well lookie here.  We were just talking about you, actually we were just talking to you.  (Spike motions towards the clone)

Buffy: (Buffy freezes for a moment)  Well seems like another hair-brained scheme you've concocted.  Boy, just when you thought your attempts to win Dru back couldn't get any dumber.

Spike: (He snaps) You don't know anything!

Buffy: Ooh, I've struck a nerve, you've never been any good at hiding your weaknesses.

Spike: (Solemnly) Give me a break, I've tried everything to get over her.  I went to singles bars, called phone chat lines and even put ads in the personals section of the paper. 'SWV seeks female aged 100-500 to share romantic moonlit hunts, a passion for destruction and thirst for blood.  No breath, no soul preferred.  No photo required.  But alas, nothing.  Actually I did meet two very nice women at a sci-fi convention in Kansas, but unfortunately we had to go our separate ways.

Buffy: Well maybe you should have advertised in the obituaries section then.

Spike: Enough of this, I don't want to hurt you (Spike hooks Buffy to the ground)…well not too much anyway. (Spike proceeds to put a beating on Buffy, but she manages to role away for a moment)  Hey I don't want you to die just yet, there's so much fun to be had with Mini-Buffy here first.  Do you think if I lock it in the basement, it could use ESP and contact you to find it and get it out?

[The clone looks like Buffy in every way except for its hair which is a brunette color.  It is however, lifeless on the table.  Buffy is frozen as she stares at her clone, but suddenly Xander makes his big entrance.  Xander swings down from a cord at the top of the lab and crash lands near to where Buffy is crouching.]

Spike: (In mock fear)  Oh no, its you.  I think I better head for the hills.   I thought I knocked some sense in to you last time we met, but I guess not.

Xander: Well I'm not a quick learner.  (Xander notices Buffy and then looks up and spies Mini-Buffy)  Geez, you guys are breeding like NBA players.  Buffy are you OK?

Buffy: Yeah I'm back with it now.  (There's a pause)

Xander: So Buffy, isn't this the part where you kick some vampire butt or are you waiting for me to do it as a nice change of pace?

Buffy: OK, I'll handle this, just stay out of the way and try not to get…(A vampire springs up out of nowhere behind Xander and clocks him over the head with a microscope)  Xander!…hurt.  (Xander lays unconscious on the floor.  Buffy now has three vamps as well as Spike to deal with.  At this point the professor makes a subtle entrance)  Oh you've really done it now!

Professor: Spike, what are you waiting for?  There's no need to say Grace, just kill her already.

Spike: Hey Colonel Sanders, I don't take orders from anyone.

Buffy: (chiming in)  Except from some girl who doesn't even want you and has you whipped all over.

Spike: Don't start with me.

Buffy: Don't start with you?  I think cloning your mortal enemy against their will to use against them is starting something!

Spike: Buffy, I never intended to use poor Mini-Buffy against you.

Buffy: What?   Were you going to use it in a Buffy look-a-like competition?  Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to just to win a year's supply of root beer.

Spike: No its nothing like that, in fact it is poetic when you think about it.

Buffy: What the hell are you on?

Spike: Dru demanded that I bring her your head to prove I was good enough for her.  But for some strange reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.  As much as I hate to admit it, things are more interesting with you around, and of course there's also the health hazard I face when I try the beheading you part.  So I thought it'd be easier to clone you and bring Dru your head that way.  Gosh, I can be so clever sometimes.

Buffy: Oh yeah, that's real poetic, I guess I must have blinked and missed the beauty in all of that.

Spike: Whatever, but anyway, I'm beginning to like this place.  And since I decided not to kill you, I think we are even now.  So I think I'll stay in Sunnydale a bit longer and soak up the sights.

Buffy: But we had an agreement, you would leave town and never return.  You've broken that promise twice now, we are far from even Spike.

Spike: But that was before I found out there was a new Wally World opening up in town.  There's so much new in this town every time I come back and time apart from Dru will do me good.

Buffy: I can't let you stay here Spike.

Spike: I'm sure you'll get used to having me around.  I'm a changed man and a model citizen.  I'm doing charity work in a soup kitchen every weekend.

Professor: Well Spike, I think you need to follow the yellow brick road and ask the Wizard of Oz for your evil back.

Spike: I haven't lost my evil, but this isn't my battle.  I'm not going to kill her now.  If I'm going to kill her its going to be for the right reasons,  like to impress chicks or if I get dared by my buddies.  Sorry, but I must bid you all adieu.

Professor: Spike, get back here. (Spike springs up and exits the building.  The professor then orders the remaining three vampires to drink from Buffy's clone)  Ignorant little child, you may have Spike wrapped around your little finger, but I'm a different kettle of fish entirely.  I don't need him to anymore, he's accomplished what I needed out of him already.  (The vamps begin to drink, Buffy is aghast)  I must thank you for giving my boys here super strength, now its time for the demons to take back the night.  Kill her!  (Two vampires jump down on to the landing and attack Buffy)

Xander: (Xander gets up feeling his head) Gee whiz.  That's the second time I have been knocked out cold by a microscope, and who said science is for the good of humanity?

[Both vampires simultaneously attack Buffy, they are very strong due to their increased strength and Buffy is having a hard time repelling their attacks.  She manages to spinning heel kick on of the vamps to the ground, but the other manages to throw her to the floor in the meantime.  The Vampires soon begin to get on top of her again, but Xander regains his senses and hits a vamp with the same microscope from earlier over the back of the head]

Xander: (In his best Bob Dylan voice) How does it feel?  (He continues to punch and knee the vampire, this gives Buffy the chance to get on top of the vampire she is fighting.)

Buffy: (Buffy punches the vamp in the face) That's for Xander.  (Buffy stakes it in the heart) And that's for me.  (The other vampire has by now knocked Xander to the ground, Buffy moves over to it, grabs it by the coat and pulls it around to face her.  She kicks it hard in the ribs) And that's for Mini-Buffy.  (She proceeds to stake it in the heart) And that's for messing with genetic engineering which has resulted in major modifications been made to my favourite candy bars.  (The Professor and the other vamp realize they are in trouble and make a quick getaway)

Xander: Buffy stop him, he's getting away.

Buffy: He's long gone already.

Xander: He can't be, I didn't get to order me one of those yet.

Buffy: (Buffy is almost offended but sees the mischievous grin on his face that she hasn't seen in a while and decides to play along)  Xander, Mini-Buffy's aren't just for Christmas, they are for life.  You aren't responsible enough to own one yet.

Xander: Damn it, well if I can't get a clone of you, can I at least get a Xerox of your butt then?

Buffy: Xander! (She punches him playfully in the arm)

Xander: I'm sorry, I am saying stupid things again.

Buffy: Don't be, I appreciate it…sometimes.   Well if you don't say your stupid comments, who else will huh?  Besides I've missed stupidity lately, it is definitely underrated.  (They pause and walk over to the clone)  What are we going to do with her?

Xander: I guess there's only one thing we can do.

Buffy: But that is me lying there virtually.

Xander: No, you are standing in front of me, and there is no way what is standing in front of me could ever be duplicated.  You are so vibrant and full of life, it is a miracle that there is even one of you on the Earth as it is.  You are most definitely one of a kind Buff.  Besides, that clone is nothing at all like you. If it was, the clone and I would be at each other's throats by now.  (They both giggle)

Buffy: Thanks Xander, will you help me destroy all this stuff then, so this doesn't happen again?

Xander: Sure thing Buff.

Buffy: Hmm, I must be getting daft.  So which part of your statement, 'I'm going to spend time apart from the scooby gang' didn't I understand?

Xander: (laughs)  Well I had a bit of time to think things over and I guess my motives are still selfish.  I thought that I wanted to move on, but I feel better about myself when I do what I can, however little that may be, to help you guys out.  I don't know if you guys appreciate it or not, but it makes me feel good, so you're stuck with me.

Buffy: I think I could live with you feeling good about yourself, just don't become too pleased with yourself OK?  I don't want you too happy around me.  I do appreciate it, especially the dramatic Three Musketeers' style entrance, it had me on the edge of my seat.

Xander: Again with the mocking, but hey I can live with that, because I was very brave in there and I deserve to give myself a pat on the back.

Buffy: How did you know where I was anyway?

Xander: I had a nice father/son talk with Giles, he kind of let it slip.  He gives great advice, but he kind of let slip your location.

Buffy: What advice did Giles give you?

Xander: I'm sorry, I am not at liberty to divulge that information, all father/son conversations are totally confidential.  But I can say he does give good advice, you are very lucky to have a Giles.

Buffy: It seems like we are all very lucky to have a Giles.  (Jokingly)  Get your own watcher next time, you can't borrow mine without permission anymore.

[Buffy and Xander destroy all of the chemicals and samples in the laboratory and start heading back to Giles]

Xander: Are we cool Buff?

Buffy: Yeah, I thought we were OK after the fight.

Xander: Oh, I don't mean after the fight, I mean after everything.  I know we're cool, but we're not Buffy and Xander cool with each other, we aren't tight anymore.

Buffy: Well speaking for myself I just want things back to the way they were.

Xander: I do as well Buff.  (takes a deep breath)  First of all I just want to say sorry for being all immature before the last time we tried to discuss this.  I'll try not to go all annoying little girl off Party of Five on you this time.

Buffy: Hmm, OK.

Xander: I think we need to get everything out into the open, we've let stuff fester for too long now.  Even if we say stuff the other person might not want to hear, I think we should put this whole thing to rest once and for all.

Buffy: I agree, and even if we don't like what we hear, let's refrain from making snide remarks this time.  Deal, do you want to start?

Xander: Ok, well here goes.  I realize I've been a bit of a bastard the past year or so and I know I haven't made things very easy on you.  So for that I apologise, but I did feel very upset with you sometimes, so that's why I behaved like that sometimes.

Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry if I upset you with my actions at times, but I have a lot of difficult problems I have to face in my life and sometimes I make bad decisions.

Xander: I know you've had a rough time of it Buffy, but what hurt me the most was that you couldn't even come to me about your problems, it was like everything we'd been through didn't matter and it was like I didn't exist.

Buffy: But you've never understood the Angel thing, I couldn't go to you about that situation.

Xander: I know I probably couldn't give you advice on the Angel matter Buffy, but you know I would have been there to cheer you up and do whatever I could to ease some of the pain for you.

Buffy: But in the end Xander you only added to the pain.  I'm sorry if I it seemed like I took you for granted, but you were such a great friend for so long it hurt even more when it seemed you lost faith in me.

Xander: I'm sorry, I know my comments began to border on very harsh at some stages, but I was really hurt by being left out of your life.  I was hurt and sometimes I deliberately pushed the limits to try to hurt you.  I'm sorry for adding to your grief, some of my motives were selfish.  But it almost got to the stage that it felt you didn't even notice me at all unless we were fighting.

Buffy: Xander, that is completely not true.

Xander: Well it seemed that way to me, so I almost began searching for these fights with you, because it seemed like the only link between us.  It got to the stage where I'd rather be your worst enemy than not even be noticed by you.

Buffy: I've always noticed you, for so long now I've just wanted us to be close again like we were after we first met.  I guess I'm selfish and I guess I'm spoiled.  But I came here expecting my life to be miserable and then I come across the two most amazing friends anyway could hope to have.  I know I got side-tracked sometimes and neglected you guys a bit, but call me greedy if you will, I want things to be the way they were.  I want to go back to being the luckiest slayer in the world.

Xander: I know what you mean Buff, when I first met you it was like you were a miracle, in my eyes you could do no wrong.  Then once you began to make a few mistakes and I found out that you were actually human, it was a huge shock to me.  I couldn't believe you could make mistakes, you were like a rock before.  I really should have handled that better, but are you sure going back to the way things were is a solution, it seems like everyone else is moving on?

Buffy: I think the gang can still be as tight as ever and still move on.  It's almost a necessity I think, that's when we were at our strongest.

Xander: So it's settled then.  What have we learnt from this talk then?

Buffy: Hmm, that we are both terrible people?

Xander: Yep, I think we deserve each other Buff, people this horrible should stick together.

Buffy: That's what I've been saying all along. (They both embrace.  They reach Giles' house and knock on the door)

Giles: Ooh, hello Buffy, Xander, I trust everything went accordingly then.

Buffy: Yes I managed to clean up the mess Spike started, but he is still on the loose and around town I think, so we must begin to work on a plan of attack to handle his presence.

Giles: Yes, we should do that, but umm, first thing in the morning will suffice.  (A woman walks up from behind Giles next to the door)

Karen: Are you ready to go now Rupert?  Oh, are you going to introduce me to your friends?

Giles: Oh, this is Buffy and Xander.  Buffy, Xander, this is Karen.

B and X: Hi.

Giles: They umm, I found their lost puppy once after it was hit by a car and nursed it back to health.  They were eternally grateful and have stayed close since.

Karen: Well, OK, nice to meet you both.

Giles: We are late for dinner, so I must head out.

B and X: Bye.

Xander: (Giles and Karen leave)  Wow even Giles has moved on out of the dark ages and left us behind.

Buffy: Yeah, now that is sad.

Xander: Well I think we should celebrate anyway, we should party as tomorrow college starts and once we are in college we must be fine, responsible citizens at all times.

Buffy: Yeah right.  So what about Will?

Xander: I love Will and all, but she's with Oz now, so in the meantime I am planning on taking advantage of you and using you until Willow becomes available.

Buffy: (Giggles) Xander!

Xander: Yeah, I know what you meant Buff, I'll call Oz and her up now.
 

fin