Letters

The year was 2013. It was a new time and there were a new slayer and a new

watcher. The watcher was shifting through boxes of books and papers that he

owned. Inherited it all actually, from the last watcher. He paused as he

thought about Giles. It seemed like such a long time ago when he had last

seen him, but the funeral was only a month ago. Lucky Giles had died of

natural causes, a heart problem. No vampires and demons involved in that

one. Wesley on the other hand, hadn't been so lucky. The vampires got to

him one night. Buffy hadn't been able to the stop them and they killed him.

Buffy blamed herself for his death until her own.

Shaking his head the new watcher opened a box and pulled out a pile of

paper. A yellowed envelope dislodged itself from the pile and fluttered

down to the ground. Something was written on it and the new watcher bent

down to pick it up.

It read "For the watcher who comes after myself."

The new watcher opened the envelope, expecting something from Giles and

began to read the letter that was sealed inside.

***

November 27, 2001

She was always most insistent in letting the whole world know about the

crush she had on me. But it was absolutely insane. I was a watcher, and she

was a student. Not to mention that I was more than ten years older than

her. But as Giles so easily put it, I have the emotional maturity of a

blueberry scone. Cordelia was an odd girl at some points. It seemed like

she was attracted to me on some days, but other it just seemed like she

wanted to make Xander jealous. Teenagers, I don't understand them most of

the time. I often find it hard to believe that I used to be one.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps it is to document how my

life had been in Sunnydale, perhaps it's just because I'm bored and do not

have much else to do. I just hope one day some young watcher can read it

and not make the same mistake with their slayer as I did with Faith.

All I wanted to do was watch, be a watcher and do a good job of it. I

wasn't prepared for such a fight from Buffy and to have another slayer turn

bad on me. I suppose it was my fault. I was, after all, her watcher and I

should have been there when she needed me. I still remember the look on her

face when I introduced myself.

"I'm Wesley Windom Price."

She looked at me like she wanted to kill me right then and there. I am

somewhat embarrassed to admit that I was almost scared of her. But Faith

proved to be a good slayer until she began to work with the mayor. Buffy

believes it started the day she killed the mayor's assistant. Allen, I

think his name was. Poor man, but Faith was caught off guard and they had

just been attacked by so many vampires. It wasn't all her fault. It was

mostly mine, I suppose.

Mr. Giles had told me repeatedly that I shouldn't blame myself but I can't

help but feel responsible. If I had just trusted her and been there for her

when she most needed my help perhaps I could have prevented her turn to the

dark side. Oh Lord, now I sound like a Star Wars movie. 'Welcome to the

dark side Faith, hope you enjoy your stay'.

I wonder if she did. Enjoy her stay I mean. Was turning to the mayor all

that she thought it would be? Did it prove to her that bad was better than

being good or did it maybe make her realize that helping the people of the

world is better than hurting them?

I wonder what her last thought was? Her last conscious thought. As she took

that step off the building and fell into the truck below, do you suppose

she realized that she would never again wake up? Did she think that it was

the end, or was she too busy celebrating her victory against Buffy and

Angel to think of death?

If I could have been with her then, I would have. The craving to know what

she was thinking has begun to get so strong. I just want to know what was

going through my slayer's mind.

If I could have traded places with her, I would have. My slayer was not

supposed to die, Faith's life was not supposed to end like this. But it

did. It ended quick and painless.

I wonder if that's a proper assessment. Was her descent to evil, then to

death really painless? So many things could have been running through her

mind and haunting her thoughts while it all happened. Her life could have

literally been ruined by the decay of evil in her heart. I wonder.

Sometimes I just sit here and think of all that could have happened if

Faith hadn't turned to the mayor, then died. So much had been laid out for

her, the council hadn't planned on her doing this and dying this way. She

was supposed to keep the slaying going when Buffy died at the ascension.

The council was wrong twice in the same year, it makes you wonder why I

keep working for them. They never thought Buffy would be strong enough to

stop the ascension and they definitely never thought she could convince

every single graduating student to help her save their home and their

school.

I often wonder about the strangest things. I wonder who will be reading

this letter when it's found. I wonder what year it will be when someone

finds this and I wonder if I'll already be dead. I suspect that it's Willow

reading this letter. Don't ask me where these suspicions came from or why I

feel this way, but I think it may be her. She always had the push to become

a watcher and I think she could have done a wonderful job. So if you're

reading this Willow, please don't make the same mistake I did. It will eat

you up inside.

I don't know who else it could be. I suppose the council could have sent

another watcher from England but letting Willow do the job would have been

much easier in my eyes.

I think it's time to end this letter. The others are coming into the

library. I see Buffy, Willow, Xander and Oz. They all so look happy, even

Oz who tends not to show emotion. I wonder if they know that exactly two

years after Faith's death I'm still sitting alone and blaming myself for

what happened. I wonder if they know how it kills me to look at them and

want to be so happy and so carefree. I'm so jealous of them most of the

time that I find it hard to research with them, or find a demon.

In closing, I want to wish the new watcher and the new slayer the best of

luck. I know you'll do well.

Wesley Windom Price

***

The new watcher slowly folded the letter and placed it back inside the

envelope. He felt tears come to his eyes but he shook his head, refusing to

let them fall.

"Hey Oz man!" A voice came from the door of his apartment and he turned to

see Devon standing there. "We have some work to do. I'm moving."

Oz smiled. "Sorry Devon, just 'cause you're still a bachelor at thirty

four, doesn't mean I have time to help you every single time you move."

Devon smiled. "I love my life. Come by when you get some time. See you

later."

Oz shook his head and looked down again at the letter he held in his hand.

"Are we training tonight?" A female voice asked from behind him and Oz

turned to look at her.

"In a little bit. You can go on down to the gym, I'll join you in a few

minutes."

The small brunette smiled at him and nodded. Oz watched as she went and

smiled at her. She was shorter than he was, which was quite a feat, but she

was a good slayer. Sturdy and strong.

He looked at the letter and suddenly remembered something Wesley had

written.

"I wonder if they know that exactly two years after Faith's death I'm still

sitting alone and blaming myself for what happened. I wonder if they know

how it kills me to look at them and want to be so happy and so carefree."

Oz sighed. "I don't know if the others did Wes, but I knew. If it helps you

any, I knew." He paused and looked around the room, as if Wesley was there

with him. "Thanks for the advice. And if in some bizarre working of the

Hellmouth, you can hear me, it wasn't your fault. I hope you accepted that

in death because I know you never did in life. Please believe me Wesley, it

wasn't your fault. You were a good watcher." He smiled sadly. "I'd be proud

if I could ever be as good as you."

Then he opened a drawer on his desk and slid the letter inside. He wanted

it around if he ever need motivation to keep going and keep training his

slayer. All he needed to do was open that letter. A smile crossed his face

as he shut the drawer and watched as the darkness swallowed the envelope

that sat inside. "You wondered a lot of things Wesley." He said aloud. "But

I wonder if you ever knew how much that would help someday. I wonder if you

ever thought how much you could mean to somebody. You meant a lot to me."

Oz smiled, then locked the drawer and followed the slayer down to the gym.

The End

More to come soon. :)