"It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a pimp jacket and a button fell off. I picked up my ho stick and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom." Vanilla Snow (New Orleans)

"My ho was such an ugly kid...When she played in the sandbox the cat kept covering her up." Timberland Lamont Thomas (L.A.)

"I could tell that my hoes parents hated her. As a kid, her bath toys were a toaster and a radio." Papa Pimp (The Ho Village)

"My ho is so ugly...Her father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."  Tony "Da' Fro" Norris (Pearl River)

"When my ho was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to the father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could......But she pulled through." Dr. Balls Newmont (Orlando)

"My ho is so ugly ... her mother had morning sickness - after she was born."  "Guns" Gastelum (Colorado Springs)

"I remember the time my ho was kidnapped and they sent a piece of her finger to me. I said I wanted more proof." Silver Ice (L.A.)

"A rival pimp asked, "How can I get a kite in the air?" I told him to run off a cliff." Mayor Lamont Branford IV (Atlanta)

"One year they wanted my ho to be a poster girl... for birth control." Jackson Brown (New York)

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair."  Phil McCrackin (Grayling)

"Yo momma went to a freak show and they let her in for nothing." Jesse "The Nose" Goose (Cali) 

"One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my ho!" Ron "The Iceman" Collins (Burke)

 "For two hours... some guy followed one of my hoes around with a pooper scooper."  Mervin Beasto (Lansing)