NinjaPimp Men's Magazine: New Zombie Pimp and KrazyMan Interview, Hot Babes, Quote of the Month, Big Dongs, Photoshop pictures, Bikini, Hoes, best buns

Zombie Pimp Interview
by The Black Ninja

Zombie Pimp, how are you doing today? Well, the day started off pretty poorly. I opened up a box of what I thought was Kelloggs All-Brain. I was stoked! Then I looked closer, and I realized that I had opened All-Bran! Man, did that piss me off! Not only do I have to to worry about my rotten epidermis, but I didn't start the day with a dose of vitamin B.

So, what is new in your world? I went to Zombie Fred's wedding. I picked him up a cerebellum baller from Bed, Bath, and Beyond the Grave. It is like a melon baller, but for... well, you get the idea.

How does one become a zombie pimp? Well, back when I was living, I was known as Jim Bucko. I loved pimping and ninja activities. From there it is the usual. I contracted the "Rage Virus," then a comet flew by and almost turned me into dust, then I was bitten by an undead squirrel, next I was trying on some age resistant makeup from the Umbrella corporation, finally I died in a freak chainsaw juggling competition.

I'm not sure what caused me to come back from the dead, but $nowMan says that he also conjured up some reanimation whiskey that might have helped.

AfroSquad is always coming up with new stuff. What projects are you working on? Well, I'll be doing a regular blog on the Afrosquad MySpace page. I'll be reporting here pretty regularly. Furthermore, I am working with the Hot Pockets people for a juicy new filling. You guessed it, brains!

Who pisses you off? Well, there was this guy yesterday who was making fun of me for being undead. I just wish I could have stopped, killed him, and eaten his brains... oh wait, I did!

Where do you see yourself in five years? In various forms of decay.

What does it take for you to spare somebody's brains? Just link to ninjapimp.com... that should buy you a few weeks.

And what are your hobbies and interests? This weekend I plan to hang outside the local shopping mall with my zombie buddies. People never let me in the mall, though. They don't like my type. I heard Foot Locker sells real feet. Do you know if that is true? Nothing says human flesh like a ripe bunion.

What do you think of American Idol? I am a rotting, undead, cannibalistic freak, motivated not by intelligence but evil instinct... I represent the pure evilness within all mankind; however, even I could program better than the executives at Fox.

Well, thanks for your time.

KrazyMan and Pam, the next Super Couple!
By the NinjaPimp

The two celebrities, who have held previous ceremonies - and parties - in France, Nashville and Beverly Hills, Calif., tied the knot again on Saturday. The festivities started with a ceremony at the Clarkston Union Bar & Kitchen, a favorite of Krazy's (real name KrazyMan); the bride wore a white wedding dress while the groom sported sneakers with his black tuxedo. Krazy's homie the $nowMan and wore a white sleevless tuxedo.

The couple then changed to more casual attire (Anderson donned a Detroit Tigers jacket) to entertain about 150 friends and family members in a heated tent set up on Krazy's multi-building Clarkston compound. Guests included Zombie Pimp and former Detroit Red Wing Brett Hull, members of the Protagons - including former guitarist NinjaPimp - Detroit rapper Red Ninja, the bride's and groom's parents and Krazy's three siblings.

Clarkston Union also catered the party with a menu that included Deez Nuts Crunch, Bitch Smax, gin and juice, bottles of Jim Beam whiskey on every table and plenty of Coors beer, which Krazy has endorsed in the past. A DJ kept the guests dancing until about 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning.

It was the fourth - and supposedly final - wedding celebration this year for Krazy, 35, and Anderson, 39, who got engaged in April of 2002 but broke up for a time. They began the ceremonies on July 29 on a yacht at St. Tropez, France, then got formally hitched on Aug. 3 at a courthouse in Beverly Hills, Calif. The Nashville affair included a midnight ceremony on Aug. 16.

Wedded bliss hasn't kept the two from their work. Krazy released a movie this year, "Episode Zero," and played Detroit area concerts in February and May - the latter of which was filmed at The Palace of Auburn Hills for an upcoming DVD.

He also duets on $nowMan's new album, "Wal-Mart Hoes," and has been working on an album of new material of his own.

$nowMan and Britney... is it true?
By the Papa Pimp

We were shocked to learn that Britney Spears has filed for divorce from her husband of two years, Kevin Federline! Well, not really. After a short-lived courtship, a white trash wedding, a reality show, controversy after controversy and constant media scrutiny, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Now that it has, Spears will be back on the market and the world will be waiting with bated breath to find out what happens after one moves from Justin Timberlake to one of his back-up dancers. Is K-Fed as low as it goes? Here is the guy Britney might consider dating now.

$nowMan

By getting with K-Fed in the first place, Brit made it clear she digs the bad boys. And they just don't get any badder than this tattoo-covered ex-con former pimp. She did "Chaotic" with K-Fed. $nowMan promotes NinjaPimp.com. Would $nowMan go for it? Let's see. Is she blonde? Yes. Sexually active? Thanks to Justin Timberlake. Busty? As long as she's lactating, baby! Is she willing to make a porn tape? Um, we'll take the fifth as we don't wish to spend our time defending a defamation lawsuit. And though she doesn't qualify as a porn star, $nowMan might overlook that when he realizes that Britney can get twice as many headlines for picking her nose as he can for releasing an album. If you have to ask what's in it for Britney, you haven't ordered a Gigantic Weiner lately!

The New 007 Movie: