Soldier for the Lord
In the Body of Christ
I have always believed in Jesus. I've never doubted that He is real. I was raised in a christian home, with strong Christian values. My family and I went to a very large Baptist church, which had over 1,000 members. I never really felt like I "fit in" with the other kids that was in my Sunday School class. They were all from wealthy homes and had real nice clothes. They made me feel like I just didn't belong there with them. I also attended the elementary school of my church, so I didn't fit in at school, either.
I was "saved" and baptized with water when I was 8 or 9 years old. Now that I think back, I don't think I really understood what it meant to give my life to Jesus. I just thought it would be cool to be baptized. (Our church was also on TV every Sunday morning, so that was another reason I wanted to be baptized.)
I quit going to church when I got into high school. It was boring to me, and it was hard for me to stay awake in church, so I didn't see the point in going anymore. I quit high school in the 12th "grade." I started to drink, and to experiment with drugs. Then my life started to go downhill.
I met my future husband the summer I should have graduated. I had heard stories about him, that he had been in prison and how rough he was, but I didn't pay any attention to what people said. The first night that we went out, I told my best friend that this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And I knew that I meant it.
We moved in together about 2 weeks after we started dating, and then 2 months later, I found out that I was pregnant. That is when we started to have some serious problems. He was an alcholic and he was on drugs. And if that wasn't enough, he was abusive, too. Everytime we would have a big fight, I would leave, but I would always come back. My friends and family thought I was crazy, but I seen something in him that noone else could see.
We lived like this for 3 years. Things got pretty bad. By this time, my boyfriend was using alot of drugs and so was I. My excuse for using drugs was that when I was high, I didn't have to deal with the problems that I was living with. Well, I got pregnant again, and had my youngest son. When he was 1 week old, my boyfriend went to jail. He would call me everyday, and about the third day that he was in jail, he told me that he had been reading his Bible and that I should start reading mine, too. I just blew it off. I guess I thought he didn't have anything better to do. I didn't think there was anything that was going to change his ways, so I wasn't going to get my hopes up. I could visit him on certain days, and on one of our visits, I took my boys with me, and when I was talking to him, he started to cry. Right then, I knew something had changed in him. It like to have blew my mind to see him cry. I am a very emotional person, and I cry at everything, but he was never emotional at all. He was so cold-hearted, I had never seen him show any kind of feelings.
He got to come home after he had been in jail for 3 weeks and when I saw him, he looked like a new man. He had a love in his eyes that I had never seen before. And now I know that it was the love of God. From that day on, neither one of us has touched alcohol or drugs. Praise God.
We got married, and things went pretty well for about 2 weeks. I was having a hard time forgetting all the pain I had dealt with when we were living in sin. It was so hard for me to comprehend how God could just forgive my husband for all he had done to me, yet I couldn't forget it. So I started being hateful to my husband. He couldn't say or do anything without me having a rude comment to say to him. It never really hit me that I was doing anything wrong, until one night I was praying that God would give me a spiritual dream, and let me tell you, He did.
In my dream, I could see fire from heaven coming down on top of me, and I was screaming at my husband to help me, but he was just walking around shouting praises to God. I could feel myself dying. I have never been so scared in my life. To me, that was God's way of telling me that I better straighten up my attitude, because He wasn't going to let me keep pulling my husband down, spiritually.
From that day on, I could see a change in my life. God had helped me forgive and He taught me that I had to forgive before I could forget.
I praise God for everything he has done for me and my family. My husband is a preacher now, and we are growing everyday in the Lord. I know God has a purpose for me, and it is not an easy road to travel. But I know that God will give me the strength to get through each and every day, and for that, I am thankful. He is every breath I take and when you stop to think about it, none of us could make it without him.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you grow in Christ, and allow the Lord to do His perfect work in you. God Bless........