Of The Vast RightWing Conspiracy
Satirical Humor Is A Good Thing
It's been learned that a consortium of John
Edwards supporters, not Edwards himself, have formed a consortium to purchase
the National Enquirer with a promise to return the paper to its tabloid roots.
Said a spokesperson, "The National Enquirer has
begun delving into what they consider serious news. We feel the Enquirer belongs
at the top of the supermarket checkout rack with other such notable tabloids as
the Sun and the Globe. This is not an attempt to silence the Enquirer in any way
and any inference to that end is misguided."
"Stories which they are now printing involving
well known nation-wide personalities, with an eye towards increased sales belong
only with reputable media outlets such as ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN and so on.
As you know, these outlets don't consider these stories about Edwards worth
printing, covering or commenting on. We trust their judgement much more than we
do the Enquirer, you should too."
"We also want to ensure the paper doesn't in any
way infringe on the presumptive Democratic Party nominee by delving into his
past and printing information which may be detrimental to his campaign. Again,
the mainstream media doesn't consider this important, and neither do we."
"In the future the Enquirer will be printing
obviously false stories involving space aliens, the success of the surge and the
like, thus returning the paper to it's roots."
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — The nation's longest-serving U.S. Senator Robert Byrd tells
candidates John McCain and Barack Obama that to be the great president America
needs they need to be what George W. Bush was not.
Byrd has long been a critic of the president, and his latest book offers a
scathing assessment of Bush:
Byrd delivers homespun wisdom in "Letter to a New President." He quotes
philosophers, poets and Founding Fathers in equal measure, championing values
that may seem old-fashioned but are, he argues, needed more than ever.
Who is Robert Byrd:
Ex-Klansman Robert Byrd, the senior senator from West Virginia, casually
used the phrase "white nigger" twice on national TV.
The ex-Klansman, you see, is a Democrat. Democrats can join hate groups and
utter the ugliest racial slurs and get away with it because they are Democrats.
They belong to the party of racial tolerance and understanding. They're paragons
of virtue, and the rest of us are bigoted rubes.
The ex-Klansman showed his true colors when asked by Fox News Sunday morning
talk show host Tony Snow about the state of race relations in America. Sen.
Byrd warned: "There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my
time. I'm going to use that word. We just need to work together to make our
country a better country, and I'd just as soon quit talking about it so
In 1942, 24-year-old Byrd joined the Ku Klux Klan (KKK), whose parades in
Matoaka, West Virginia, he had witnessed in his childhood. He was unanimously
elected Exalted Cyclops, or leader, of his local chapter.
Byrd, in his autobiography, attributed the beginnings of his political career
to this incident, although he lamented that they involved the Klan. According
to Byrd, a KKK official told him "You have a talent for leadership, Bob... The
country needs young men like you in the leadership of the nation." Byrd recalls
that "suddenly lights flashed in my mind! Someone important had recognized my
abilities! I was only 23 or 24 years old, and the thought of a political career
had never really hit me. But strike me that night, it did." He participated
in the KKK during World War II, holding the titles Kleagle (recruiter) and
Exalted Cyclops. He did not serve in the military during the war
Byrd commented on the 1945 controversy about racially integrating the
military. Byrd, when he was 28 years old, wrote to segregationist Senator
Theodore Bilbo, of Mississippi, vowing never to serve in such a military:
"Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the
dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded
by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."
He had earlier written "I shall never fight in the armed forces with a
Negro by my side".
How could he write a book while drooling all over the paper. He was having a
bad day because he ran out of pampers. Robert Byrd is a disgrace. He
should be stuffed and put in a museum as an exhibit on "yellow dog
Democrats." Everyone should always be reminded that he is the ‘conscious’
of the Democrat party, white hood and all...
The Exalted Cyclops
gauge is Obama's
The other day, Barack Obama mentioned to
voters in Missouri that there are things individuals can do to help conserve
energy, including keeping their tires inflated can save more oil than offshore
drilling. Of course this has been debunked but it sounds good. There is a
lot of hot air and natural gas in the air gauge candidate.
I would have never thought of that, keeping
air in your tires. I guess everybody goes around on flat tires!!
Now if you want to save oil, double the amount
of air in your tires.....now your really talking about saving.....Can we really tire gauge our way out of this oil crisis? I was
just wondering is Obama in bed with ‘big tire’???? makes me
What are we going to get from President Obama?
A new Federal Agency..The T.G.C.A.
Tire Gauge Control Agency. The T.G.C.A. will
have check points on major highways to check proper inflation of your tires.
Now a little tidbit about the media. If
Senator Obama ever stops suddenly, there'll be bloody noses in every newsroom in
I'm having a little fun and you think I'm a
racist....All my tires are black and they’re full of hot air. See? That proves
I’m not a racist.