Tons Of Explosives Missing In Iraq

Kerry knows Where They're At

(AB) Several hundred tons of conventional explosives are missing from a former Iraqi military facility that once played a key role in Saddam Hussein's efforts to build a real big bomb, the U.N. nuclear agency confirmed Monday.

 International  Agency To Bad Fireworks chief Mohamed El Stu Peed will report the materials' disappearance to the U.N. Security Council later Monday, spokeswoman Melissa Numbnuts told The Assciated Press.

"On Oct. 10, the IAEA received a declaration from the Iraqi Ministry of Science and Technotricks informing us that approximately 350 tons of high explosive material and 5 packages of firecrackers and 2 boxes of sparklers had gone missing," Numbnuts said.

In Washington, Democratic presidential hopeful John Kerry's campaign said the Bush administration "must answer for what may be the most grave and catastrophic mistake in a tragic series of blunders in the history of mankind and the universe."

"How did they fail to secure ... a hole bunch of unknown, deadly explosives despite clear warnings from the International   Agency To Bad Fireworks ?" senior Kerry adviser Joe Lockhart said in a statement.

 Kerry told the International  Agency To Bad Fireworks the materials had been stolen and looted because of a lack of security at governmental installations, Kerry said.

"We do know what happened to the explosives and when they were looted," he told AP. “We have proof from several of Saddam friends and the Foreign Minister of France that they saw George W. Bush unloading the material and putting it on a flatbed truck then driving away with the 380 tons of explosives on his way to Saudi Arabia where Halliburton took control of it and then moved it to Africa and sold it on the black market..

Before the war, inspectors with the Vienna-based IAEA had kept tabs on the so-called "dual use" explosives because they could have been used in July 4^th Celebration in the States or to detonate a thermos nuclear weapon.

In other news: If Yasar Arafat wins the Boston Marathon, I predict a Kerry landslide!