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Mullah's Plan To Boost Job Market: 

Hire Fanatics To Blow Themselves Up!

Mullah/Terror: First International gathering of candidates for suicide bombers!


As part of the anniversary ceremonies of Iman Khomeini's death, an international gathering of candidates for suicide bombing will take place in Tehran under the title " Suicide in Tehran." The "Center for the appreciation of the Shahid" of the world Islamic Movement, declared today that an international gathering of "Shahids" (martyr bombers) is to take place with the objective of presenting suicide bombing as the most effective and influential method to compel occupying forces to flee Muslim territories. The ceremony will include participants from various Jihad movements and will take place on 06/06/04 in the AL-SHOHADAH HALL at 7th Batir square.

The Application Form

(This job is well paid, well established, it will blow you away, it will take every piece of you to all corners of this Earth, it will associate you with 72 angels upon the accomplishment of your task. It will take you to the heaven you've always dreamed of.)


English Translation of the Form:

Besmetalli (Islamic Invocation)

Registration for Martyrdom Operations


Children: Birth Date:


What Martyrdom Operations are you Prepared For?

Against the Occupiers in Iraq ___________________________

Against the Occupiers in Jerusalem ______________________

Towards the Execution of the Fatwa against Salman Rushdie _________

I declare the above

And additionally I am interested in membership in the Global Islamic Martyrdom Brigades


End of translation.

SUICIDE INSTRUCTOR: Watch carefully, I'm only going to show you this once.

This is definitely a temporary position...

At least this time, nobody is going to complain about Mexico and India taking all the jobs.

I'm glad when I was a kid my folks encouraged us to build lemonade stands and mow lawns for our spending money....


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