A handful of demonstrators mocked the event, carrying signs
that said, "Polygamy Now" and "Freedom to Marry Dogs." One bearded man, who
would only identify himself as "Mr. Tree," stood on the sidewalk with a
bare-root pear tree and said, "I like this tree and I'd like to tie the
Isn't he going out on a limb?
What sex is that tree?
It doesn't matter! Just leaf them
Looks like a virgin pine!
I wonder if the Pet Psychic from Animal Planet could act on behalf of my
He's probably looking to branch out.
I heard him bark.
What a sap.
This guy is a
disgusting pedophile. That tree can't be more than a year old.
I think it's older than it appears. I actually read that it came
from an old oaks home.
What if his tree finds
a more fruitful relationship and leaves?
That tree is
obviously young, I heard that he found it in a nursery.
Hey, try not to bark, or you'll look like
I hear you can tell a dogwood by its bark.
At least he would tree't her well.
But is it virgin growth?
He'd use a condom. Knotty, knotty!
What if his tree finds a more fruitful relationship and leaves?
Where there is true love, so too will be your roots.
Assuming he didn't branch out into other deviancies, they might
set down strong roots together. But, he might fall for some passing
Just leaf then alone to live their lives in quiet dignity. They
know their marriage will never be fruitful.
Not another older man picking up a "trophy" tree. Why can't he
find one his own age!
How OLD is that
tree? It looks pretty young to me. Men should not be fooling around with
saplings; that sort of thing is unnatural.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.
Don't worry, the tree already has the rings.
Just because you're sporting wood, you do NOT have to marry a
Watch out for the "Woodpeckers?
A pear tree? That pervert! A sour cherry is the only natural
They'll rake it in
at their wedding shower.
I hear they're honeymooning in Gay Pearee.