Michelle Obama Unfazed by Student Lunch Boycott
Students at Parsippany Hills High School in New Jersey say they are planning a boycott to protest new lunch guidelines stemming from First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign. Under the guidelines portions are smaller, there is less meat and bread and more vegetables. Students say the meals are too skimpy and leave them feeling hungry.
“The problem is too many of our nation's children are obese,” the First Lady said. “Left to their own devices too many teens are over-eating. Parents aren't doing their jobs. So, we are using our leverage to take up the slack.”
The “leverage” is federal aid that subsidizes the school lunches. “If the government is going to pay for these meals it has the responsibility and the right to control the menu,” Michelle insisted. “Those who want to eat more than we have determined is healthy can pay for their additional food with their own money.”
The possibility of a boycott was rated “no big deal” by the First Lady. “Refusing to eat also helps fight obesity. Studies have shown that calorie restriction helps prolong lives. Much as we may make fun of places like North Korea, the fact is that the starvation being imposed on the population by the government probably benefits everyone over the long term.”
In related news, Barack Obama is touting the presidential prospects for his wife. “She’s an incredible person and an incredible talent,” Barack bragged. “It would be a great sacrifice for her, but I'm confident she would put the nation's welfare ahead of her own preferences if circumstances required it. Besides, seeing how slowly things have moved since I got here it might well take another eight years to get the job done. So, those who trusted in me may want to ensure that my policies are carried on by such means.”
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