Voters Say Free Stuff Better than Freedom

Despite polling data indicating that over 60% of those surveyed see GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney's concern about Americans becoming too dependent on government as valid, most still say they will vote to reelect Obama.

“As a general proposition, it might be a bad thing for people to become too dependent on the government,” said one poll respondent. “But this whole freedom thing is kind of abstract compared to actually getting stuff for free. I mean, take the 10 million free phones the government has given out. A phone is something I can hold in my hand. I can use it to call my friends, play video games, download tunes—you know, have fun.”

“Freedom might have been important to people when they were fighting taxation without representation in 1776, but what's that to me here and now?” asked another poll respondent. “I don't have to pay taxes, but I still get to vote. My vote counts just as much as the sap who has to work. Shouldn't I use it to keep the free stuff coming?”

In related news, Stephanie Cutter, deputy campaign manager for President Barack Obama's 2012 reelection effort bragged that “Democrats have locked up the women's vote. We're giving them free birth control and free cell phones—two items of critical importance to the modern woman. The Republicans offer what—lower taxes, fewer regulations? Even if we were to concede that these are desirable—which we don't—they'd provide equal benefits for men. Why should any woman vote for that?”



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