Headline News Report

 
 
Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol Palin alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Obama and Dem. Congress to established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee & U.N. to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes
NYTimes: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
US Mail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
Unbiased Major Media say Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for McCain
Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope
Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush if we quit now, capitalism will win
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media to report suicide bombers hardest hit.
Democrats in Congress to stop fighting forest fire and bring firemen home
San Andreas Fault in California  renamed by Congress to George Bush's Fault
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq






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