Redneck Computer Geek

You might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if...

• If yer computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and cinderblocks.
• Ya think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestlin' organization.
• Someone tells ya they're "locked up" and ya ask if they need bail money.
• Ya've ever been too drunk to chat.
• Ya think a hard drive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.
• Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spit can.
• Ya think a surge suppressor is a pill for diarrhea.
• Ya keep trying to figure out why yer scanner won't pick up police radio calls.
• Ya think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.
• Ya have to ask someone how to spell LOL.
• Yer stomach overlaps half of yer keyboard.

• Ya try to figure out how to get yer empty beer cans into the recyclin' bin.
• Ya try to turn on yer computer with the remote.
• Ya try to figure out how yer floppy disk got hard.
• Ya play Frisbee with yer CD Rom's.
• Ya find yerself on the floor looking into yer "A Drive" yelling 'Give it back! Give it Back'.
• When birds fly across yer screen ya reach for yer shotgun.
• Yer yards full of ol' computers stacked on cinder blocks.
• Ya use yer CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.
• Ya call tech support an ask where ta buy stamps fer yer e-mail.
• Ya think ICQ is how smert yer computer is. 
• Ya think yer homepage is where ya really live.
• Ya give directions to a website that include a person, animal, or old barn.
• Ya see the word Download, and take the shells out of yer shotgun.
• Ya think the person that made yer keyboard was dumb cuz the letters aint in order.
• Ya see the "shift" key and try ta figure out how ta change gears. 
• Ya see the word "Zip" and know why youz feelin' a draft.
• Yer puter has a bumper sticker on it.
• Part of yer puter is held together with duct tape.
• Ya sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler fer another beer.