"Isn't that a great picture?"
"Turn a black light on it and it'll glow."
"Put a match to it and it'll burn."
"In the time it took them to figure out that no, I couldn't carry my golf clubs onto the plane, the plane had left. They said they had another flight at five, and I was like, 'Las Vegas doesn't close. Just get me there.'" --Justin
"Enjoy your destination city, or, if Cleveland is your destination city... enjoy Cleveland." --Jessica
"Does it matter that the gun cases are empty? Because they won't be on the way back; I'm going to Texas to get my guns." --Geoff
"If you're going on, we do ask that you deplane the aircraft as their will be a change of crew. This crew is going to Montreal, not Philadelphia." --Trisha
"For those of you who are outbound to Manchester this morning, the maintenance crew is on board the plane replacing a hot plug which apparently makes the coffeemaker work. They estimate a departure time of 10:50." --Mark
"In my world, you don't exist."
"I took the road less traveled and now where the heck am I?"
"I'm not messy; I'm organizationally challenged!"
"Don't straighten up the mess; you'll screw up the system!"
"I hate Alex."
"I'm trying to withhold judgement."
"Alex is a jerk."
"Well, he does have reason."
"Did I mention that I hate Alex?"
"Yeah, I think you might have said that."
"Alex is such a jerk!"
"I'm starting to lean that way too."