Alaska cats don't take no crap,
They don't sit on no ones lap.
They don't let you brush their fur,
Or have cute names like Oliver.
They mumble, but they seldom purr.
Alaska cats are three feet tall.
They drink beer and play pinball.
And you may notice when they call,
They don't wash themselves at all.
Just once in the spring and once in the fall.
Alaska cats are always dressed
In jeans and boot and outdoor vest.
It's not stuffed with eider down,
But hair from dogs around the town.
Some black, some brown.
Once a year to hold off famine,
They jump in the boats an' they fish fer salmon.
Slap those big fish with their paws,
Catch 'em, bone 'em and then toss 'em
In a pan with catsup sauce.
Alaska cats chew catnip snoose,
And spit about any where they choose.
The freest cats that you ever saw,
They have no owners, no leash law.
They laugh at pet cats. Ha ha!