I met Ron (who is the B-Dad of 5 of our children )on the carnival in fact I was his boss, he was a year younger than me..He stood 6'1" and about 195 lbs. and very handsome, he was a ladies man. A lot happens here so I need to skip around or I could never even get to the relinquishment part.

By the time I was 16 I had dropped out of school and became an emancipated minor..I joined the carnival full time then..I lost touch with Ron for a while, but then at one show he reappeared and asked me to marry him..that was 1974..we had plans too have 6 children at that time..3 boys and 3 girls. (I was an only child..I had Siamese twin brothers that died as they were connected to the head)

On the day before my 17th birthday I boarded a greyhound bus to go see Ron in San Diego it was suppose to be a SUPRISE but I could not reach him(long story) boy was it a surprise as on my 17th birthday I was raped in Oceanside, Cal. by two black Marines(out to have a good time they told me)it was a terrifying experience..After they raped me they took me to Ron's house and threw me out of the car and took off. I had never met Ron’s family before and what a way to meet them. His family was from Arkansas and they were very prejudice at the time(I am not and never have been)

Again long story from here so I am going to skip..

I did not talk to Ron again until I was almost 6 months pregnant, and when I called him he said that was nice have a nice life as he was engaged, and his fiancé was also pregnant, that next day he joined the Army.

I went through my pregnancy in pure hell wondering whether this was Ron's child or my rapists.

On Oct.21st, 1975 I had the most beautiful white son you could ever want to see (actually that’s not true cause he had red hair standing straight up in the air with pointed ears..I thought he was an alien baby to begin with*lol*just kidding)

Of course I knew he was Ron's baby now so, I found him in the Army and told him. He said he would come see us(but that is another story)he finally did after many times of promising and waiting for him to show up..By this time he had met another woman and she was also pregnant by him. Both of the other women lost their babies one had a miscarriage the other had an abortion. I was the only one who had the baby..

In early Dec. Ron asked me to marry him again, and the fool that I was I said yes and we were married on Dec.31st 1975..I can't tell you everything that happened right now from the time we were married to the relinquishment, because there is way too much information. So, I will just tell you with in the next 5 yrs I was pregnant 5 times.(I lost my little girl when I was 6 and half months pregnant.)My ex-husband had slept with more women then I can count or want to count while we were married (a miracle I didn't get Aids)

Because of all that happened the children ended up in temporary foster care and then I fought to get them out.(another long story)I divorced this man and married another one. This time a Marine..had his child ,and he was the same as my ex-husband abusive ,and slept with anything that was female.

Anyway the 5kids(I was pregnant with the child I just mentioned at the time)and my 2nd husband and me got orders to Fla.(another long story here) I fell down a flight of stairs (while I was pregnant) and became paralyzed from the waist down. My husband didn't want to be married to a crip.(as he put it)and he left me to raise 6 boys alone I couldn't do it as I was in a wheel chair living in a two story house, so I went to the state for help and they weren't much help. They told me to call their B-dad and I did I asked if the boys could come spend the summer with him, he said he would take the three for the summer(another long story)so I had to sign temporary custody for the state to fly the boys to Calif.

This is where it all starts my 1st husband didn't even show up at the airport to get the kids (he said he wasn't ready to be a father now) so the state took them to an emergency foster home, and the cycle began. I received a letter two weeks later saying that my 1st husband had relinquished his rights as a father and they wanted me to do the same..I told them to drop dead!!!!!!!

It took three yrs. of fighting ,and my children in foster homes before I would sign the adoption papers!! It just about KILLED ME ,and I felt like MY LIFE WAS COMING TO AN END!!!I was FORCED to either sign the papers, or they would take me to court for being an unfit mother. Reason being that I had let my children fly to another state with no adult supervision on the receiving side(like I could control their fathers actions)

I told the adoption agency I wouldn't sign and they promised me if I did..I could help with my children's placement. I told them (FINALLY)if they would keep all three of my sons together in the same home I would sign the papers..they promised too do that and with a broken heart; I finally signed the papers.

The first set of adoptive parents were abusive ,and my boys were taken away from them. They were placed with a new adoptive family whom we lived about 10 miles from (we got orders back to California) and didn't even know it..the new adoptive parents knew I didn't want to give my kids up.(my sons were 4,5, and 6 at the time) and that my kids knew me and loved me...the adoptive parents promised to keep in contact ,and that when they got a little older James(my oldest son)would be able to see his brothers, and then we could reunite as soon as they were settled..Those were all LIES LIES LIES !!!!!!!!!! They didn't keep in touch in fact when they found out we lived in the same town in California they pulled up roots and moved to North Carolina immediately. They also told my children I was dead so, they never would have come looking for me.

There is so much more to the story ,but now you know why I searched for them when they were minors..I searched for them from the first day I was COERCED to give them up and it took 11 long years, but I FOUND THEM!!!!!..they are now 26,26, and 25..(Jeremey will be 27 in a few days from now)

As Promised for a very long time; here is our Reunion Story .


NEW-REUNION STORY

I have said for a long time that I would share our reunion story with ya’ll. You have been so patient for so many years now. I thought it would be simple to explain and put on paper, yet every time I seem to try it; the words do not come out right. The years seem to just fly by and it has been over 10 years now since we reunited.

As you have read in my story it was not my idea to give my children up for adoption, and they were not babies they were my little angels being taken away from me. I started looking for my children the day after I signed the papers. I knew that I would find them I just did not know it would take so long. I did all the normal things you do to try to find an adoptee, and nothing worked. Since they were minors no one really wanted to help me either. I knew the longest I would wait was until Jeremey turned 18 and then he would not be a minor. It did not take quite that long thank the Gods.

I remember it like yesterday when I asked our oldest son what he wanted for his 18th birthday. His answer was “ I want you to find my brothers, I want to see them”. I knew as a birth mom that this would be a tough present to commit too, but I did. It actually was the excuse I was looking for to hire a searcher. The searcher really did not want to search for me since my children were still minors. She told me all the things that could happen to me, none of that mattered. She even told me I could up in jail. Then she told me what it would be like for my adopted children, which changed things. I tried to explain to James that it would be hard for them to have us come back in their lives. I told him that we did not know what they had been told about the adoption situation. I also told him that they might not even know that they were adopted. None of this seemed to really matter to a 17 year old who wanted to find his long lost brothers that he loved so dearly. I searched my heart and soul and knew it was the right thing to do. Life is too short to wait when it comes to knowing that your children are safe. It also is to short to let a day go by without your children knowing how very much you love them. We had missed so many years with the boys.

I convinced the searcher to search for me and with in a couple months I had my answers. I will never forget the day that phone call came in and the searcher said, “Debbie are you sitting down”? I was shaking and had no idea what to expect. She told me there last name, address and even phone number. I was speechless and almost in shock. I had gone to school with a boy who had the same full name as one of my children. Believe it or not I sat on the information for 9 months before I did anything with it. I really did not want to disrupt their lives. What if they did not know me? What if they hated me? Then I started to think about what was the worse thing that could happen if I had the chance to tell them I loved them and always had.

I finally got the nerve to call the number, and it was an answering machine. I listened carefully to the voice and the message on the machine, and then I hung up. I called again three more times before someone actually answered the phone, and I still hung up. I was so afraid they would run again. I decided to drive to North Carolina. A dear friend of mine, and his fiancé were visiting me from Alaska, and they went with me for moral support. We drove to NC and went to the address that was on the piece of paper that I had slept with for the last 9 months. It was the wrong address!!! We drove around the town looking but had no idea how to find them. I came up with an idea from out of the blue and it worked. We were given the new address about 4 hours later, which, was miles away from where we had been. When we finally came to the right place I sat and watched their front door for hours. I was too afraid to go knock. I was not ready to face the boys after all this time. I WAS SCARED TO DEATH! I finally got enough nerve and knocked on their front door. Their adoptive mom answered the door. I spoke her name talking through a screen door, and then told her I was her children’s birthmother. She did not know what to do. I asked her if she wanted proof and she said yes. I had the relinquishment papers and the letter they wrote saying they would stay in touch. I guess you could say by this time she believed who I said I was. She came out and we sat on the front porch chairs. We talked and I had a million questions to ask her, and she had a million to ask me. The boys were in school that day, and at that time I was glad they were. She finally invited me inside her house and she showed me two of the boy’s rooms, and pictures of the two boys on the wall. Wowwwww they were so big and they looked so much like me. This made my chest swell with pride. I wondered where my others son’s room was or even his pictures, but I was afraid to ask, so I waited patiently before I did ask. I was feeling uncomfortable there, and the kids would be coming home from school anytime now, so it was time for me to leave. I knew that 2 of my boys were just fine, and I would ask the question I feared to ask about my 3rd son before I left. She turned the tables on me though, the kid’s bus had just pulled up, and they were getting off. They came in the back door, and I wanted to go out the front before they saw me, however, she wanted me to stay. I did not know what to do, but I sat on their couch trying not to shake. She introduced HER boys to me as a friend from school, and then told them to go do their chores. OH MY GODDDDD..Here were my kids, and they did not know who I was, and I could not even touch them. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME? IT WAS A TYPE OF REVENGE, AND BOY DID IT HURT. I thought my son Joe knew who I was, but later on I found out it was the baby Ron who knew in his heart that I was his Momma. See they had been told I was DEAD!!!! She kept the boys busy and away from me, and called her husband home from work to meet me. I found out it was her birthday, and she was getting ready to go to someone’s house to celebrate. What a day for me to show up on her door, but after 11 years I really did not feel I needed to apologize, even though I did many times.

I really liked their adoptive dad, and to tell you the truth until I learned the true colors of the adoptive mom I really liked her too. We talked for a while and I finally got brave enough to ask about my other son. I was trying to prepare for the worst as I had many nightmares of my children crying out needing help from me. It was then they told me my other son was in a children’s home( he stayed there over 7 years) and that they were doing the best thing they could for him. I did not know what to do, I just remember crying, happy because he was alive and yet, sad because he was away from his home in a children’s home. They had sent my other two boys to the same children’s home earlier, but they brought them home after a year. (Anyway that’s a very long and sad story so I would rather just leave it alone and continue with the reunion.) The last thing that was discussed was the possibility of a reunion with the children. They said they would think about it and talk to the boys and let me know with in a couple weeks. Two months later and waiting by the phone every minute I was home, I got that phone call. They said we could come spend Christmas Eve with the boys and they knew that I was alive and they wanted to see me, as well as their brothers. Before Christmas we talked to the boys on the phone a couple times, IT WAS GREAT!!

I spent every penny I could find and every waking moment trying to figure out the right things to say, and the perfect Christmas presents to make or buy. I made each of the boys dream catchers as they are of Native American blood. They were each given a painting that their biological great grandfather had painted before he died. (Which by the way they were not ever given back after they left the adoptive home) Jeremey the child that was at the children’s home was flown in for his once a year visit at Christmas, but he was not told about me until after they were driving him home from the airport. It was a VERY LONG DRIVE from Memphis, Tn. to their home in N.C. I kept wondering what it would be like to see them and put my arms around them. I had waited 11 long years to do that. The day finally got there and I walked into their house and saw all three of my beautiful angels standing there. The adoptive family gave us 12 hours to spend with the boys and that was it. She made a dinner for us, however, made the kids eat at their own table and the adults eat at a different table. I just kept staring at my gorgeous children al sitting at the same table eating together. I would have sat on the floor next to the table just too be close to them, but I knew I was not permitted too do that in their house. It was the first time I had all of my 7 children under the same roof. The picture on the adoption page is of that MAGNIFICENT DAY. My kids were all having a wonderful time just talking with each other and getting to know each other all over again. They also had a 2 yr old little sister to get to know while we were allowed to be there.

I spent as much time as I could in the boy’s room with them talking and reminiscing. I had brought photo albums and baby books and was sharing their past with them. I was given a photo album of the boys when they were growing up in their adoptive home for a Christmas present, which I still cherish today.

The boys told me they were not happy in that home and they had all been “Playing the Game” and they all begged me to take them with me when I left to go back to the hotel we were staying at. IT BROKE MY HEART.. I could not take them with me, and I really wanted too more then anything. We made a promise with each other to stay in contact after the reunion, and never lose touch again. This promise was suppose to have been with the adoptive parents as well, although, it turned ugly, and they stopped allowing the boy’s to keep in contact after we were back in Tennessee again.

There are so many more things that happened through the years ,and I did have 2 of the boys come live with me at different times in their lives. It seems like sometimes this is a movie or a book I’m reading and not our lives. We have all gone through HELL and BACK, yet, somehow I believe we are all better people for it. I really appreciated everything that the adoptive parents did for the boys when they were raising them. But it was all the lies, and the conniving they did that changed my mind. I would send my boys cards and packages and the adoptive parents would send them back. I still to this day have cards that are in closed envelopes with “return to sender” written on them, or some kind of threat from them. I also still have gifts I sent that were never given to one of the boys. Well that is our story and I am sure there are typos or even sentences that do not make sense, but after taking this long for me to be able to write this in one sitting, I cannot go back and read it right now. So, I ask for your forgiveness ahead of time until I am strong enough to go back and read what I have written and correct any mistakes I may have written. For any of you searching NEVER GIVE UP!!!! For you that have reunited and it did not work out the way you wanted to KEEP THE FAITH!!! And for you that have been lucky to continue on with your parents or children no that the GODS HAVE BLESSED YOU!!! I wish and pray that all your dreams come true, I know the day I had all 7 of my children under one roof MINE DID!!!!

I am proud and very happy to say I do keep in close touch with all three of my boys now . I am happily married as well to a retired Marine.”Once a Marine Always a Marine” We retired to Alaska in June of 2002. We lived in a 16 x 20 cabin for our first home. This cabin had no running water, no bathroom, no showers, and no washer and dryer. It was quite a unique experience to live with 3 people under one roof in one room for 4 months, however, we made it and we now live in a nice 4 bedroom house with a gorgeous view of the mountains. I think this part of Alaska is the most beautiful place in the world. If you ever get a chance come by and say HI... We have seen the Northern Lights, or as the Alaskans call them the Aurora Borealis a few times, however, one night they danced in the sky in beautiful reds, blues, greens and yellows. We are looking forward to seeing more of them soon. Autumn in Alaska is beautiful as well, however, Winter is creeping around the corner. We had a snowy Winter last year, and several people here think we will have a tougher winter this year. Only time will tell, and I am ready for the snow. So, Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow. There are not to many things that are as beautiful as seeing trees dressed in white, and the lawn blanket in white virgin snow. We are starting too get ready for winter now though. Andy is making a woodpile for the fireplace. We did not have to get the sand piles this year as we bought a used 4x4 truck to get up and down the driveway this year. Hurray!!! Andy and I will be celebrating our 16th Wedding Anniversary on Feb 1st, 2005. They say the 3rd is the CHARM and their RIGHT!!!I never thought I would see the day when once again our family was back together and whole. It is an amazing feeling, and I am blessed and happier than I could ever be. The puzzle has been completed, with no missing pieces too our family anymore.

My husband Andrew legally adopted James, Randy, Chris, and of course Heather. We are very PROUD OF ALL OUR CHILDREN and their Accomplishments. We are also very PROUD OF ALL OUR GRANDCHILDREN.

Started searching late 1982 and reunited in 1993

Reunited with-Jeremey 26, Joseph 26 and Ronnie (Ron Jr.) 25 on Christmas Eve. 1993

Birthmom to James 29 Randy 24 Chris 22

Adopted Mom to Heather 13(open adoption)-born on 8-4-91 to both her B-Mom and A-Mom and A-Dad (we are best friends..still)

****NEW**** This is an UPDATE on our children.

James is our oldest child turned 29 on Oct. 21st,2004 living in Virginia. He use to like DJ'ing in his free time when he was a corpsmen in the Navy now that he has gotten out of the Navy (on a honorable discharge after 5 years) he is DJ'ing as a profession. He is enjoying the single civilian life for right now. He is a student at a University in Virginia, and is very happy there. James’s dream has always been to play College Football, and he plays a tight end for his team. He has always enjoyed football, and plays a good game. His dream is finally coming true. I think he was born with that talent...We are very proud of him. James is always trying to make someone else SMILE or laugh :0)... Our prayers are with you Son... So James this is for you "GO CAPTAINS", and "GO VOLS " WE LOVE YOU JAMES..

Jeremey will be turning 27 on Oct. 27th,2004, and has moved back to Florida ,and he is starting to build a future there with his wife Robin and their two daughter's Michaela and Mary. We wish them all happiness, and success in their journey of life. Our prayers are with you and your family Son. WE LOVE YOU JEREMEY..

Joseph turned 26 on Sept 12th, 2004. I am proud to announce this is the first time I have ever added information about him, and his family. :0) Joe and I have learned too become friends this year, and have spent a lot of time talking with each other on the phone. We are making plans for him to come visit us in Alaska around Christmas time. We have not seen Joe since the reunion in 1993, and we are very excited to get to spend some time with him. Joe was married to a woman named Michelle who has brought in too this world two adorable grandsons named Joseph Michael Jr., and Justin Taylor. Joe sent us some pictures, and you can easily see family resemblance in both boys. Joseph proudly served his country in the United States Marine Corps for 7 yrs, and since has honorably discharged, and starting a new leg of his life. Right now he is a student at a college working on getting his degree, and trying to figure out what he wants to do when he grows up. :0) He loves his kids, motorcycle, and bearded dragons. Joseph “Welcome back too your family”. We love you very much and always will. We wish you, and our grandsons all the love, happiness, security and success this world has to offer.

Ronnie who likes to be called Cameron turned 25 on the 7th of Sept.,2004 is now living in Alaska looking for work as a Computer Graphic Design Artist. Ron does beautiful work so if anyone reads this who might need his services please email me, and I will get you in contact with him. We have really enjoyed the chances we have had to visit with Ron. He lives about 3 hours away so, it is not as easy as when he first came to stay with us for at the beginning of 2004. We are the PROUD grandparents of Mike 18, Chynna 16, Jordan 11, Dylan 10 and Chandler 8, and Chloe 5. We could not be prouder of Ron, and we love all our grandkids very much!! We keep in contact with them as much as we can. Our young man has come a very long way and we are so proud of him ...Our prayers are with you and your family Son.. WE LOVE YOU RON;0)..

Randy turned 24 on Oct. 12th,2004 and is currently away from home dealing with consequences of his own life. That is all I will say at this time..Our prayers are with you Son.. WE LOVE YOU RANDY..

Christopher turned 22 on May 22nd, 2004. Chris has made many wonderful changes in his life. He graduated from Job Corp in Kentucky, attended a University in Indiana where he pledged as a Phi Delta Kappa. He worked at Disney world for a while on a College transfer, and now is living in Illinois working in the Security field. Chris has come such a long way from his teen years, and we could not be prouder of him. Chris also has a gorgeous baby girl that he is very proud of named Isabelle. We have seen pictures of her, and she is beautiful. We love her very much and look forward too the day we can meet her in person. Good Luck and Stay Safe Son...Son our prayers are with you, and our granddaughter. WE LOVE YOU CHRIS

Heather who turned 13 on Aug.4th,2004 is having a very hard year , and is not at home at this time. We hope she will be home soon. It seems like it was just the other day she came in with a whole zip lock bag of something..couldn't figure out what it was till I got real close..Guess what it was??..give up??...It was a bag of DEAD June bugs..Isn't that sweet..*smile*..our prayers are with you Daughter.. WE LOVE YOU HEATHER

Hope that you have enjoyed the update on the kids and I will try to continue to update as new things happen..Have a great day..always keep a *SMILE* on your face because it makes people wonder what you have been up to..*SMILE*

The future is a mystery The past is history Today is a gift that’s why it’s called the PRESENT

Please Come Back and Visit...and Email me if you would like to ask any questions or just say hello..

Since I have shared some about our life would you be kind enough to sign our guest book, and tell me what you think about our page..It would be really appreciated...our updated email address is hurtzlot@yahoo.com

This page was updated on 10-24-2004

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