50 fun things to do at your local walmart store
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of
filling them and stranding them at strategic
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front
of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten
minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people
you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by
sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes
of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY
SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an
official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in
Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then
turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I
haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if
they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department,
ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who
BUYS this crap, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store;
claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always
staying about five feet away. Continue to do this
until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the
entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the
scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow.Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell
others you'll only invite them in if they bring
pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can
"catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run
around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring
28. Play with the calculators so that they all
spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to
cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of
you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do
you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up
a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in
35.While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-
depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the
theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to
direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in
the pet food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your
"Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to
look at something, quickly make off with it
without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get
48. When an announcement comes over the
loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream,
"No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the
magazines and relax. If the store has a food
court,buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get
out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it.
*BONUS* Attempt all of the above in the same