Jennifer

Hi. I was bored one day, and decided to get a complaint letter about my sister. I'm even more bored today, so I decided I'd post it up here! (sorry Jenn*s*)

My complaint about Jennifer Wildrick

I feel compelled to preface my remarks with the following: Jennifer Wildrick's cringers believe that those rights and protections which give us voice in a democratic society are the cause of Dadaism and social chaos and must be thwarted or dismantled. And that's why I feel compelled to say something about yellow-bellied poltroons. In a country like ours where corporatism, Stalinism, and fetishism run rampant, we need laws to help enforce behavior that ought done out of common sense, decency, and tolerance. I know because I have experienced that personally. There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that only the assembled and concentrated might of a national passion rearing up in its strength can discuss the programmatic foundations of her dastardly shell games in detail.

Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe we now know for certain that her toadies intend to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not manipulative ruthless autocrats. Then doesn't it follow that her whitewash of the issue offers no real analysis of the situation that resulted in her soporific catch-phrases in the first place? While others have also published information about uncompromising foul-mouthed crybabies, the absurdity of Jennifer's positions did not dawn on me until I realized that Jennifer's remonstrations epitomize all that is confused in the world. When Jennifer looks in the mirror in the morning, does she see more than the same, hypocritical face that all perfidious Luddites share? Although some garrulous dipsomaniacs concede that each of us should realize after a moment's thought that it is often said that she uses a rather indecent definition of "interparenthetically", they invariably deny that I have noticed of late a very strong undercurrent of raving careerism among lecherous teenagers. My own position on this issue is both simple and clear: Her personal attacks are founded on lies.

Would she like it if I were vainglorious and insufferable, too? I don't think so. Jennifer's assistants should commit to a process that respects civil liberties, civil rights, and civil discourse, right? Speaking of which, Jennifer makes assertions that strain credulity. Things are apt to get worse before they get better.

Here's an extraordinary paradox: All of the illaudable enemies of the people who shouldn't be allowed to do everything possible to keep ultra-impudent shallow-types vindictive and jealous invariably want to. Actually, I'm undoubtedly bewildered by the vapid nature of her words. Is it any wonder that Jennifer likes to launch into nonsensical non-sequiturs? People who are attacked by self-serving gutless vegetarians basically have three options. They can ignore the attacks, engage the attackers in a debate, or apply some sanction which will put an end to the attack. Although I, for one, can find only circumstantial evidence of misconduct and rule violations, she approximates stolid cowards as far as practical action is concerned, but differs from them in psychology, ideology and motivation. In a sense, her legatees have the audacity to divert us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary.

All kidding aside, the ideas backing up Jennifer's slogans are extremely insolent and shabby. Jennifer's teachings are like hothouse plants. They shoot up, but they lack the strength to defy the years and withstand heavy storms.

I disagree with Jennifer's oppressive self-centered half-measures. You see, Jennifer is proposing a cure for which there is no disease or, more likely, a disease for which there is no cure. Sure, she may have a right to make empty promises, but we certainly don't have to stand idly by while she exercises that right. To be fair, we have fallen into her trap. Something that I have heard repeated several times from various sources -- a sort of "tag line" for Jennifer -- is, "We should go out and stigmatize any and all attempts to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from Jennifer's insults. And when we're done with that, we'll all rip off everyone and his brother." This is not a direct quote, nor have I heard it from Jennifer's lips directly, but several sources have paraphrased the content to me in near-enough ways that I feel fairly confident it actually was said. And to be honest, I have no trouble believing it.

Although she babbles on and on about egotism, Jennifer has no more conception of it than most other self-absorbed intemperate hippies. Certainly, daft scientists are burdened with the preconceived ideas or feeble understanding of the circles to which they previously belonged, both politically and philosophically. There is no inconsistency here; all people, including gruesome contemptible nebbishes, ought to be kind and sensitive to one another. Her conjectures are amalgams of popular themes among inimical malcontents, horny crooks, and truculent card sharks. I really hope that Jennifer's refrains were intended as a joke, although they're not very funny if they were. More to the point, one of history's clearest lessons is that Jennifer is basically a bad person. She wins gutter-dwellers over to her side using big words like "spectromicroscopical". It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem, but there are no simple solutions.

I wouldn't even mention that before you know it, she will turn her back on those who need her the most if it weren't true. She wants to lure the bad-tempered into her camp. But what if the tables were turned? How would Jennifer like that? When I look back I think, "By balancing the theoretical untruth and nonsense of Jennifer's modes of thought with the reality of this phenomenon, we can see that cameralism is a growing threat to society and should be outlawed." No one can deny that posterity will have little occasion to glorify her "heroic" existence in a new epic, yet her foot soldiers are as unbalanced as they are negligent. I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But Jennifer's shenanigans are often disregarded merely as irrational and are consequently not treated as the serious assaults on liberty and freedom that they unequivocally are.

Jennifer's activities make many mainstream stirrers nervous. Not that I've come to expect any better from the most worthless bigamists you'll ever see. Let's be realistic: the sun has never shone on a more misguided and abysmal person than Jennifer Wildrick. Is she just trying to annoy unctuous spivs? She, in her hubris, has decided that she has the right to control, manipulate, and harm other people. With enough time and room, it would be easy to show why this must be true, but the clinching argument is simply that her lickspittles, who are legion, can conceive of nothing but presumptuous predatory defenses of her biased reinterpretations of historic events.

Once it becomes clear that I sincerely believe that it needs to be taken into account that her shock troops are more determined than most neurotic whiners, it becomes apparent that I surely reject her demands. Jennifer leaves me no choice but to leave the country. We must definitely advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most mendacious manifestations without the slightest consideration for any screams and complaints that might arise. In short, it is better to be a little old-fashioned, but honest and loyal, than enlightened and modern, but unrestrained and primitive.

-Ryan

Email: bubble_monkey@hotmail.com