BRIAN'S MOVIE RATINGS!

A Prarie Home Companion:
A pretty magical film, APHC takes you behind the fictional scenes of the Prarie Home Companion radio show. Skillful direction and wonderful performances by every actor almost makes you forget Lily Tomlin can't sing.
An Inconvenient Truth:
I thought this film was going to be this years Fahrenheit 9/11: The movie that critics give a good review to because they agree with it politcally, even though the film was medicore. But alas despite a few corny scenes used as lecture breaks, the film was informing and The Gorester kept my interest all the way through.
Babel:
More Like Gyabel.
Fuck:
Yeah, yeah, gay.
For Your Consideration:
More like For You GAYsideration.
Hard Candy:
Good thing I didn't really read the synopsis of this film before I saw it or I wouldn't have been surprised at the direction it went in. Not really a thriller like it's being touted (I'd call it an art film over thriller), it's suspenseful and well acted. Especially the opening NIGHTHAWKS diner scenes.
Jesus Camp:
fuk chistcheans!!!
Letters From Iwo Jima:
More like Letters from Gay.
Little Miss Sunshine:
This could have been a comedy for the ages if the ending was less corny, but as it stands it's a decidedly dark road trip comedy with expectional performances from Alan Arkin, Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear.
Scoop:
An undeniably cute film, it follows Woody Allen and Scarlett Johansson as they investigate the possiblity of English Lord Hugh Jackman being the Tarot Card Killer! Hilarity ensues! Woody always sees the glass half full... of poison! If he was in America he would have been the hero! Etc.!
Thank You For Smoking:
Not a masterpeice by any means, but a solid supporting cast rounded out by David Koechner, William H. Macy, Todd Lousio and Rob Lowe keep the giggles in this satire through all 90 minutes.
The Departed:
CRIMINALOR COP ITDONEST MAKE A DIFENRCE FACEING A LOADED GUN OLOLZLZLZLZOL G8 TAGLINE!!
The Devil and Daniel Johnston:
Even though this guy was a total Mulder, NOT a brilliant musician like everyone says and just a crazy person, this is an affecting documentary on a strange cult figure's life and tribulatons.
The Queen:
More like The Gay.
United 93:
omgz!! 2 soon!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe they wood make a film about nine11 it jus happened wut like 8 years ago?? holywood should ba ashamd @ themselvs i bet it wont evan have a hapy ending lik all good movie should hav!! wtf!1
Wordplay:
" 'To Duel With'... hmm is 'Crossswords.' Which has in it 'crosswords'... so they're playing with us here, hehe, and that's wonderful." - Ken Burns

Apocalypto:
More like Gaylypto.
Borat:
Yeah, yeah, gay.
Casino Royale:
The middle portion of the film starring a Texas Hold 'Em table is great, but the movie would have benefitted from the climactic last action scene actually being good, and if ____ _______ didn't commit _________ for seemingly no reason. I like my Bond classy, and he ain't too classy yet!
Clerks 2:
More like Gay 2.
Factotum:
Even with near-brilliant performances by Matt Dillon and Lili Taylor, it can't derail a film that goes nowhere, and gets almost frustratingly reptitive.
Jackass Number Two:
I totally LOL'd a few tymez.
I Am A Sex Addict:
Despite the film maker's (Caveh Zahedi) honesty and good premise (it's about sex addiction, of course it's going to be entertaining), an uneven narrative sadly brings this film with lots of potential to the level of mediocrity.
The Holiday:
More like The Gayiday.
The Prestige:
Scarlett = wasted! Jackman = British? Strong 2.5 or really weak 3, I can't decide. While the story is skillfully told and doesn't leave any holes whatsoever, I felt the Christian Bale revelation (and how it was told) at the end was a cop out.
This Film is Not Yet Rated:
More like This film is not yet GAY.


Running With Scissors:
More like Running with GAY!!!!

The Top Ten Movies of 2005:
1. The Best Of Youth
2. Grizzly Man
3. The Squid and the Whale
4. Brokeback Mountain
5. Last Days
6. Junebug
7. My Date With Drew
8. Broken Flowers
9. Good Night, And Good Luck
10. Melinda and Melinda
Close Calls: Capote, Mysterious Skin, Match Point

MOVIES 2005: (Out of Four)

Grizzly Man:
Ah yes, the cream of the crop of 2005 films. This Werner Herzog masterpiece documentary on the fall (and eventual death) of Grizzly lover extraordinaire Timothy Treadwell is extremely compelling, and using an ample use of footage Treadwell shot himself makes this hands down the most affecting movie of the year.
The Best Of Youth:
Could I ask for more? No less than a six hour tale of two brothers lives in from 1966-2003 in Italy. Heartache, love and all human emotions run rampant in a movie that bleeds greatness - it's impossbile to ignore while talking about the best films of the decade, let alone 2005.

Brokeback Mountain:
Sporting possibly the years best performance by an actor (Heath Ledger), this movie about gay cowboys could have been this years laughing stock (:cough: Gigli), but instead turned out to be a deeply moving story of love and wasted years. I almost teared at the last scene. Want to make something of it, bitch?
Broken Flowers:
Jim Jarmusch pulls out another winner (and I use a completely generic review phrase) with Broken Flowers: an off beat comedy drama about a man (Bill Murray) who's looking for his son who may or may not exist. Like any good Jarmusch movie, it mixes grief and comedy with eloquence and beautifully captures silence and emotion.
Capote:
Containing a stellar performance by one of Hollywood's most underrated actors Phillip Seymour Hoffman (playing Truman Capote), Capote is the story of Truman going through the process of writing In Cold Blood. With a jarring aura resonating off the screen for nearly two hours and great acting, it's a definite Oscar contender (even though the Oscars are garbage).
Good Night, and Good Luck:
A great black and white piece of cinema focusing on how Edward R. Murrow (David Strathairn) and producer Fred Friendly (George Clooney) tried to bring down the injustice of McCarthyism. Clooney's second directing effort shows he has surprising skill in guiding an array of interesting shots and crafting a taut argument.
Junebug:
Amy Adams is simply precious in a great film about meeting the parents, and among other things, General Lee's massive cock.
Last Days:
Gus Van Sant couldn't have made a more honest portrayal of the final days of a musician/heroin addict (Michael Pitt doing his best Kurt Cobain impression). Critics bashed the film for being to pretentious but, they collectively had their heads of their asses. This is one of those films that stay with you after the car ride home... after you wake up... after you go to work...
The Squid and the Whale:
Who knew divorce could be so funny? (gay line) A Wes Anderson-esque comedy written and directed by Noah Baumbach, this tale of four converging family members (and a cat) is not only laugh out loud funny, but tugs at the heartstrings as well. If there is any justice, the father (Jeff Daniels) will get an Oscar nomination.

Cache:
A solid drama about a married couple who keep getting creepy and anonymous videotapes, this movie works best on the levels of not really knowing what's real, where it's headed towards, and who's telling the truth or not.
Crash:
Running like Magnolia-Lite, this blatantly honest film about racism with a host of several inter-connected stories will make you think about the next time you say "Nigger," "Spic," or any other fun derogative comments to someone based on race alone.
Downfall:
Two words: Bruno Ganz. His delineation of Hitler is magnificent and it remains the most impressive part of the picture. If you're looking for a blood and guts WW2 movie, then you won't be able to handle this historically accurate drama (seen through the eyes of his secretary) of one of the most colossal men in history's last years on earth.
Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room:
Intelligent but doesn't boarder on confusing (Dom is just a dumbass), this documentary on the rise and fall of Enron, one of the biggest scandals in the passed 50 years, is extremely well read and, despite its weighty material, is watchable throughout and as entertaining as it is discerning.
High Tension:
One of the best (and delightfully gory) horror films of the passed few years, High Tension plays out like your worst nightmare about a killer on the loose in your conveniently desolate town. Critics would say the film is riddled with plot holes, but they just forgot to watch the last 15 minutes.
Jarhead:
Not your average war film (and that's what makes it good) Jake Gyllenhaal plays real life Anthony Swofford in a movie that chronicles the journey of a war with no battles, just recruits fighting boredom. Solid acting from co-star Peter Sarsgaard and a few heart stopping shots (oil fires, anyone?) rises this film above the level of mediocrity.
Match Point :
While it's very good film with a dynamite ending, it's slighty overrated and, contrary to popular belief, it's not even Woody's best film of the year, let alone since "Crimes and Misdemeanors."
Melinda and Melinda:
Woody Allen strikes again with the great idea of telling the same story from two perspectives: comic and tragic. With Will Farrell playing the surrogate Woody Allen, this ingenious tale rises above the complete mess it could have easily been.
Mojados: Through the Night :
Even with understandably shaky cinematography, I was extremely happy with this documentary that follows four Mexicans trying to get over the American boarder. It did its job: Shedding a crash-course personal insight into what it takes to cross the boarder.
Murderball:
The best sports documentary since Hoop Dreams. In Muderball, (rugby for quadriplegics) the film works on two levels. A sports documentary of course, but more importantly, it hosts many character studies which make you feel for the quads (most notably Mark Zupan) in their journeys on the court as well as in their personal lives.
My Date With Drew:
Winning the award for cutest movie of the year, this fun doc on Brian Herzlinger is about trying to get a date with someone who he has had a crush on all his life: Drew Barrymore. Impressively not coming off as a stalker, after the first five minutes you're rooting for the likable (and hairy) Herzlinger all the way.
Mysterious Skin:
An extremely weighty movie led by good acting, this movie skillfully explores a taboo greatly avoided in cinema: The effects of child molestation. Inexplicably ignored during its theatrical run, this film should have had the impact of Brokeback Mountain.
No Direction Home: Bob Dylan :
Probably the best singer/song writer of the 20th century, this three and a half hour doc mainly looks into Bob Dylan's most influential years (1961-1966, but also delves into his childhood). Even though the first hour stumbles a bit, it's essential viewing for any Dylan fan that peaks at live performances and whenever the wise man is interviewed (Director Martin Scorsese was too scared to interview Dylan himself, coward).
The 40 Year Old Virgin:
Steve Carell is a riot at the title character, and the movie plays out with more maturity then one would expect. The ballsy last scene is totally weak and ruins the good streak it had going, but I can't demote it that much since good comedies as rare as being able to find Mungiello a date. TOASTED.
Syriana :
This film was well done and acted with panache blah balh FUCK BUSH LOOK AT WHAT;S HE;S DOING 2 SOCIEIETY BLAH BLAH SENIDG POOR FARM KIDS OFF OT DIE
The Aristocrats:
This laugh out loud doc is exclusively on the dirtiest joke in any comics repertoire (if you don't know it, I suggest you find out). Of course the best parts are when comics do their improvisations/renditions of the joke, most notably Bob Saget and Sarah Silverman.
The Baxter:
The best romantic comedy this year because it's not like every other one, Michael Showalter plays a great baxter (the O.K. but not great guy that always gets left in movies). The overall charm of all the characters makes this a pleasing 90 minutes to watch.
The Weather Man:
A Chicago weather man (Nicholas Cage) is a failure at being a father and son, but can be good at telling the weather (if he wants). Mixing black comedy and drama, the screenplay is a winner. And with Cage on board, it's hard to think of many more actors who can make such an unlikeable character likeable.
The White Diamond:
Leave it to Herzog to make two good documentaries in one year. This one is about Dr. Graham Dorrington, who makes a "jungle airship" so he could investigate the rainforests in Guyana. His story is heart breaking (his friend Dieter died in a crash on one they had made). It's unique and behind Herzog's steady hand we get amazing shots of landscapes, and an in-depth character piece all in one.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit:
I went in thinking this was just going to be another stupid animated film, but left thinking this is a funny and cute stupid animated film. After leaving this film, I officially got a soft spot for these guys.

9 Songs:
Trying to mix porn and art (and less importantly, Antarctica), I felt the movie was very successful at portraying extremely realistic dialogue and sex. However, the film was greatly hampered by the nine concert songs fully played in the movie. Boring. This could have been a very special movie if half the performances were cut out.
A History Of Violence:
Probably the most overrated movie of the year, A History of Violence contains well thought out characters that are acted with talent (Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello, Ed Harris). But, even though this movie is all about a Mortensen's depth and complexity, it's hard to get passed what a generic line the story's progression and conclusion walks on.
Assisted Living:
A film about a janitor (Michael Bonsignore) in a nursing home has very compelling characters and was scripted and acted with great detail and class. On merit I would recommend it, but the film maker Elliot Greenebaum inter-cut some documentary footage which ruined the whole feeling of the film, and long, annoying "Arty" shots of objects like senior citizens feet really hampers the pacing as well.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
Even though the idea to remake this was pretty useless, it is still better than the original. Johnny Depp is solid as Willy Wonka and of course with Tim Burton's direction the colors are a visual delight, but the musical numbers are uniformly bad and ruins the flow of the story line.
Corpse Bride:
The story of a nervous groom accidentally proposing to a corpse is amusing and the stop animation process is one to marvel at. Like the afore mentioned Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Burton is a master with colors and even though the film's primary colors are very dark, it still comes off as stunning. Sadly, also like CATCF, the songs leave a sour taste in your mouth, and a few scenes should have been left on the cutting room floor (even though it's 76 minutes).
Gunner Palace:
The idea to go to war and get real footage is fantastic. A lot of the shots are done with grace and I love the insights into some of the soldier lives. Sadly as a movie some shots linger too long, and even though the rap songs in the score are the real soldiers rapping about army life, it's very annoying and inappropriate for the scenes at hand.
March of the Penguins:
It's admirable what the crew went through to get this footage, but this documentary on the mating of Penguins in Antarctica should have stayed as what it was originally going to be: A TV movie for a French nature channel.
Me and You and Everyone We Know:
Even though the film is unique and starts off with great promise, the film ends up focusing too much on the divorced dad's children and not enough on his new relationship with a quirky performance artist. Also, scenes with pretentiousness are strewn around the film too much.
Red Eye:
Even though the ending is lackluster and little too Hollywood, Cillian Murphy plays a very good psycho in this taut Wes Craven thriller that largely takes place on a plane. For the most part it works, even if the screenplay gets a little silly.
Rubber Johnny:
The lone short on this list about the neglected whatever the hell Rubber Johnny is, could have been the masterpiece that super-director Chris Cunningham wanted it to be. It creates a great creepy aura, but ends up evolving into a goofy music video with laser beams shooting out of hands.
Sin City:
This comic book adaptation directed by Robert Rodriguez has the making of a good movie (great style and solid directing) but what is comes down to simply is, for all the style here, there is no shed of substance whatsoever.
Shopgirl:
An interesting idea with a solid adaptation from Steve Martin's novella, this movie had good potential (and always shined with Jason Schwartzman was onscreen) but it contains too much voice over narration from Martin, and the overall structure leads the ending to be anti-climactic.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
Very charming with amusing scenes, this could have been a very good movie that's right up my ally. But it gets a little too annoyingly involved and loses some of its steam towards the end. It's hard to lose yourself in the madness when some plot points aren't explained properly.
Waiting...:
It's funny because you get to see Luis Guzman's balls, and Ryan Reynolds' swagger is irresistible. The downside though is... uh... the rest of the screenplay. It gets a few points for almost looking like a mockumentary, though.
War Of The Worlds:
With surprisingly good chaotic action scenes, and Tom Cruise playing a believable New Jersey father, I would almost be able to recommend this, if it wasn't for the improbably mushy Spielbergian happy ending.
Woody Guthrie: This Machine Kills Fascists:
Woody Guthrie was a mythical character and extremely deserving of a documentary. It tells his sad story interestingly enough, and goes into a good amount of detail, but at three hours it runs long and there is too much input from various historians who never met the great man himself.

Jiminy Glick in La La Wood :
John Michael Higgins is fall down funny as, whatever he was, but this largely improvised movie about Jiminy Glick's rise to fame/murder mystery at the Toronto film festival has too many whimpering jokes, a sloppy execution of the whole mystery plot line, and the best part of the movie was shoved in the middle (an interview with Kurt Russell).
Inside Deep Throat:
While it plays out like a normal documentary should (and has the always great John Waters as an interviewee), this movie wins the prize for most useless movie of the year. It wasn't engaging, went off on tangents, and tried to play it off that Deep Throat was something bigger then it actually was.
Land Of The Dead :
The biggest personal disappointment of the year, Land Of The Dead, could have been a great edition to the classic Romero "of the dead" trilogy, but instead relied on mediocre satire and cliche scare tactics rather then a solid screenplay.
North Country:
The performances of Charlize Theron and Woody Harrelson are good, but the direction is off, and falls flat on its face as a horribly generic bio-pic, complete with countless cliches. The worst? The "climax" courtroom scene, complete with the defendant breaking down, admitting he was lying, and crying.
Undead:
While the movie starts out with promise having the charm of an early Peter Jackson horror film and the score seemingly out of a classic b-movie from the 60's, the movie comes to an entertaining halt when it gets serious, and when plot intricacies aren’t explained as well as they should have been.

Batman Begins:
The look of the film is titillating but the film contains every action scene I've seen before, every superhero phrase I've ever heard before, and every ending I've ever seen before. Christopher Nolan could have breathed a lot of life into the series, but instead just improved upon the Joel Schumacher movies. (Backhanded compliment alert).
Saw II:
While the immature teenager in me lauded some of the cool killings in this film, it all doesn't amount to more then a bad movie with bad acting (Donnie Wahlberg, a joke), a bad screenplay (Darren Lynn Bousman & Leigh Whannell) ...well, mostly bad everything. Thanks Lion's Gate!

A Hole In My Heart:
Studio Executive: "Hey, Lukas Moodysson just left me a great message! He wants to make a movie that sounds fantastic! Here's the scoop: A father will make a violent porn film in his house with his two friends Eric and Tess while his son rambles on incessantly about ugly things that are beautiful. Then we'll cut back to the porn shoot, have the dad and Eric break shit, have a food fight, then the climax will be Eric puking in Tess' mouth! And the best part of it all? It'll be improvised! Brilliant! Let's start shooting next week!"

That's all folks. Goodnight sweet prince.

Email: Mungy873@Yahoo.com