Beloved Starman
Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to our beloved Starman, Drew Chittenden. Drew was in a car accident early this week and is critical, but stable, condition in Boise.




We love you DREW!!!!!!!!!!

Burning the Midnight Oil
It's midnight the day before deadline, and I couldn't be having more fun. I truly love this part of the process, of putting it all together. It's like a big puzzle. The hardest part is stopping - or, better, of knowing when to stop, knowing when it's done.

This, of course, is a wonderful metaphor for life, as most art is.

Heera, amazing Advertising Goddess Girl, has a hard time with this too. She sees graphics the way I see words. We have cut and paste sessions and she reminds me of those scenes in A Beautiful Mind when he puts all of the tabloids around him and numbers start jumping out at him and order is found in chaos.

I do this with words. I don't know how, anymore than beloved Heera knows how she does it with pictures and ads. Some people really get math, and I just don't. I like the idea of karma, of how we come into this life with predispositions for somethings and ways of being. We carry things from far away, from long ago, that don't matter except for their effect on our lives and choices today, in this moment.

I sometimes think that I was born into the wrong line of being. That there were two women giving birth or conceiving at the same time and I messed up. All the people in my family are in the medical profession, talk about body fluids all the time, and think about the peanut butter sandwich they're going to have for lunch during open heart surgery - my sister. I almost fainted hearing about it. I was born a writer, and then entered the international affairs and politics realm. I used to watch ER, but not for the medicine, for the story, the dialogue.

At any rate, things sometimes look a little bit out of whack, or clearer in perspective, depending on how long I've been staring at this screen.

Back to loving this: This is a great job. I get to interview great people, come into contact with great people, and learn amazing things while having amazing discussions. I've fallen in love with a whole new group of people doing the environment & harvest issue, and am still pining over all of the wonderful people all over the world who came together for the Dalai Lama issue.

I get to write about things I believe, present a gift to the state about wellness and higher consciousness, and occasionally I get a really great massage or reading or an assortment of new modalities. It's feels good to do good work. It feels good to be in my passion. I think that it shows in the end product, and I hope it will continue that way, and all of it will grow and evolve and all of that juicy stuff.

I've found I like being a little controversial too. I like to get to the heart of the matter, dig beyond the surface, take the time to find out what's really going on, become interested, and then dive in. I love to learn. Learning about the beef industry for this issue was very enlightening, scary, but enlightening. Thank God for Daily Blessings Foods!

I'm going to bed now. I thank the universe for this wonderful day, look forward to lying down in my bed with my warm and snuggly husband and dogs, and waking up wrapped in bliss.

Everything Matters
Do you ever wonder if all of your hard work is really making a difference? I do. I sometimes wonder if the mission I was called to do - to provide a forum to help raise the consciousness of the world - is even having any kind of impact whatsoever.

I know I'm not alone in this. Very few people really realize the amount of hard work that goes into even the smallest things in their life - the food on their table - how many people were employed to bring that here, how many miles of road were necessary to keep drivable, the grocery store owner who stays in business and doesn't raise prices maybe as high as he could. Bars of soap, dog food, you name it, to the gas in our car. We ourselves aren't really all that aware of the hard work going on around us.

I think the acme in this category is road workers. We not only don't give them their do, we never say thank you, and in fact, do just the exact opposite - we bitch and complain and glare as we pass construction zones on the highway, get mad if we have to wait 5 extra minutes, and resent the money being spent out of our own tax dollars. Yuck, what a job, to be at the brunt of all of that negative energy. We see only the particular projects they do, with no concept of the big picture they are working under. Out in the sun and elements all day to make sure we can get to work.

How many other people help us everyday that we pay no heed to? What if we said thank you, sincerely, to just one person every day?!

Revelations and Ramblings of a Sick Woman......
I've been sick for days now, and I think I reached the turning point last night. I laid down to go to bed, and I couldn't stop sneezing, my eyes were puffy, all of the energy had drained from my body. I couldn't keep a happy front up anymore - I was miserable. I was also depressed about it - I had missed the National Norba championships at Mammoth and I was feeling poor, alone, and hopeless.

Funny how no matter how many times I've been there and come back, I always think that this time, there's no hope, there's no way that anything is going to change. Here I am, and I feel like crap, my thinking is crap, and right now everything I see is crap. Why fight it?

There's a fine line between not giving into the negative and denial. There was a Dzogchen Rinpoche in town on Friday night and he had a lot to say about such things. First we must recognize and admit how we feel, realize the real cause, and then proceed to increase our postiive thinking and not get swept away by the negative, as if it were the truth, as if we were under the control of our emotions and feelings.

Why haven't we learned that in the West?!

I also had a big realization today about "enough." I realized that, for our culture and way of living and economy to survive, we can never reach enoughness. If we did, we would cease to want, we would cease to respond to the need for every increasing demand. It is impossible to find joy in that system as it is not geared towards joy - it is geared towards lack. We must realize this first and foremost if we are ever going to change anything, about ourselves or the world, and ever try to instigate a new way of thinking or being. We must first realize that we are surrounded by this thought feild - this cloud - at all times. It truly is amazing how pervasive it is, and how difficult it can be to really really see.

Silent House
My husband left for a trip today. I am too sick to join him, and sad that I can't go on an adventure with him. The doggies are very sad too. They so love to travel with us, even if they end up staying in the camper all day, they just love to be with their pack.

Every September we take a trip together, celebrating our anniversary - the 23rd of this month - with new adventures, looking back on the previous year, and hardly being able to fathom that we continue to love each other more and more. We still have so much fun together, like two little kids exploring the world, and each other, finding new things around every bend, seeing everything with new eyes. I know his trip won't be as magical because I'm not there to share it with him.

He'll be competing at Mammoth, CA in a national downhill race that he's been working all season to compete in. I'm so proud of him. I also know that my not going was the best decision for me, and he totally understood that.

Silence fills the house, the dogs go lay down in the sun, realizing they're not going with dad. Everything seems to settle, and adjust to his energy not being here. When he's here, he seems to fill the house, with sound, love and of course, whining. It's all part of who he is.

I wonder what the house feels like without me, when I leave him behind. I don't whine as much, but my energy sure is strong, emotional, and at times, very very needy.

I guess I'll have my own adventure here, getting over the flu, reflecting on this past weekend, and putting the next issue together.

HH Children's Address
What an amazing sight it was to see thousands of kids, a lot of teens, and adults, hooting and hollering for compassion. The children who received blessings from the Dalai Lama were amazing and inspiring, especially those when, faced with remarkable hardship, has bore up under the load and used the experience to further their understand and love for the world - to turn their tragedies into acts of love. The 6 year old girl who is obviously a reincarnated master.

The entire day had a lighter air about it than Sunday, and was just fun to be a part of. Kids raising their hands and supported by their friends to share random acts of compassion and ideas to take HH ideas out into their everyday lives. My favorite - the first participant - who waved her hands over the crowd while saying "I love you all" without embarrassment or hesitation. It was just a lot of fun.

Unlike on Sunday, HH approached the crowd and shook hands with many people. I briefly touched his hand, but was pushed aside by a very enthusiastic Tibetan man. He obviously wanted it more than me.....

Again, there were special silver ticket people, very few of them children. Again, a lovely message of exclusion.

HH Compassion & Healing Address
What an amazing experience to see, hear, and be a part of HH the Dalai Lama's visit to Sun Valley. His address on the 11th was so beautiful. As he stepped onto the podium, a peace fell over the crowd. His words were so soft and gently, yet powerful, and full of love. His energy was amazing. I can't wait to see the Children's Address today!

One thing that I love about HH is that he doesn't have a speel. He doesn't have a signature line or message or anything like that. He speaks from the heart, and while his message is always compassion, he always addresses it anew in each moment, for each situation, for the right here and now. He, in short, is a very real person. He spoke at the press conference about this, describing his outlook, whether it be a huge crowd or one person, that he always sees people as long time friends, and treats them as such. He also said that he thought people really liked his informality. We do. We do. In a world of talking heads, he is such a breath of fresh air!

About 20 minutes into his talk, I had an energetic experience. He was talking, and underneath his words I started to sense a deeper intention, as if his words were only one level of what he was doing, and of what he was here to do. I felt as if I was in a trance, or a very deep meditation. I felt pressure in my third eye. I felt as if he were sending that energy that Kiril has spoken so much about in his vision.

After preparing for this day for more than 6 months, it almost seemed surreal to have it happen, to have HH the Dalai Lama here, and to have his talk be over. I kept waiting for him to say something that would drastically alter the world, to reveal some new truth that would change the course of humanity. But, of course that didn't happen. I remembered the scene in “Kundun” in which Mao Tse-Tung was telling the teenage Dalai Lama that China was going to save Tibet, and HH from the course they were on. HH replied, “only I can save myself.” In Hailey he spoke of compassion, of its absolute power, and how it must come from individuals first before it can be shared all over the world. What an amazing experience to simply be in the presence of such a compassionate, loving, and REAL person.

I was surprised and saddened to enter the football field, however, and see the separation of “regular” people sitting on the grass and bleachers, and the VIPs who were cordoned off and sitting in chairs. They arrived through a separate entrance, as did the media. HH was on stage expounding on the need to decrease the gap between the rich and poor, between ourselves, and in front of him was this concrete example of separateness. It sent an alternative message to the crowd of exclusivity, privilege, and better-than-ness that often is seen and felt in this Valley, and in the world. It was very sad.

The Real Problem 'Out There'
I read with sadness today about the removal, or downgrading of Michael Brown as head of FEMA for the hurricane disaster. It's not that I thought he was such a great guy or truly qualified (or not qualified) for that job. What I did feel was the pressure of the witch hunt that had been underway and people's need to blame the situation on someone. I don't think anyone felt better after it was all over. We are such a ruthless society sometimes, in the way we treat each other, and ultimately ourselves. All of that hatred and anger could have been used in such better ways. What must it feel like to be the brunt of that kind of action? To turn on the TV and be faced with national criticism? It must be overwhelming.

In other news about people trying to cure their internal issues with badmouthing other people, we have the pastor of the Bellevue Community Church who has been handing out pamphlets to young children about the evils of the Dalai Lama and how he is pushing for disarmament in order to take over the world. He, I'm sure, and the other exiled Tibetan refugees, who were such a powerful military force to be reckoned with against China....What kind of hatred must be brewing in that man's heart? How sad that is. To be able to twist such words of love (both HH's and Jesus') into venom and exclusion. Kind of how Jesus was treated isn't it??? The only thing we can do is have compassion for him and his kind. Their hearts are so closed, their beliefs are so fragile that they can be threatened so easily. What fear he must operate under!

In happier news, I just got back from the first night of the Spiritual Film Festival. What an amazing group of people, films, and energy. The showing was great for the first night, and will probably just expand as the weekend goes on. I can't wait to see more films - especially Zen Noir - which is supposed to be really good. It seems so surreal, to have this weekend finally be here!!!! He's really going to be here on Sunday. Though, I must say, after all of there research I did for the articles I wrote, I no longer regard him as anything but human - an amazing and accomplished human, but no longer a "god-king" as it were. Seeing the movies was good to also remind me about his past and his heritage. He is such a man of the world now, it's good to remember that his mythical story actually did start out in a small village in the middle of nowhere. Wow, what a story.

The adventure continues.........

Oh, and if you get a chance, make sure you check out Chasing Buddha this weekend at the Film Festival. It's about a buddhist nun - Ven. Robina Courtin - who used to be a radical feminist. Spirit of the Valley is honored to sponsor this film.

Reaching People
My dog ate my cellphone. Well, not the whole thing, just the parts that make it work. He's a one year old border collie named San Juan Diego - maybe you remember him from the April/May issue - the "puppy that set me free." He keeps setting me free from all of my worldly attachments. He's a crazy boy, but he looks at me with his little eyes and huge ears and he just radiates "please love me" and I can't help but still love him. I ordered another phone, and got insurance this time. If only everything in life were so simply!!!

Animals all over my life are acting up - well, not really I guess. They're just being animals, but inpinging on my world. We just noticed a hive outside our house, hanging from a tree. It's right over our driveway, and the bigger it gets, the lower it hangs. My husband almost walked right into it the other day. Someone is going to, so we're going to have to do something about it. I am committed to not harming any of the bees. It's not their fault they're in our way. I had never seen anything like it before, beyond images in books and TV. I just kept repeating, over and over, "it's so beautiful." See for yourself:

In other news, I just received a message from a construction worker in the Valley who read the Discovering Dalai Lama article and now wants to go see him and needs a ticket. I was so happy he called and to know the new and varied people who are reading the newspaper - not just the New Age crowd. I started Spirit to spread the possibilities to everyone, and think a lot about what I can do to get more people interested, especially those that a lot of people have written off. We recently sent copies to all of the prisons in Idaho. Anyone with an extra ticket for this guy, please let me know.

I'm interviewing Seane Corn today. What an amazing life!!!! Sometimes, I just can't believe it's true and that I really get to do this. I have to remind myself though, that it didn't just fall in my lap. I worked very hard, and took a lot of risks, and continue to do so today, gladlly. May we all have the courage to follow our hearts.

Inclusion & Exclusion
I was watching a very emotional installment of Meet the Press the other day and something has been bothering me about it for the last two days, and I just realized why.

No, it wasn't with the President of Jefferson Parrish, though I strongly feel and send compassion towards him. It had to do with some comments by the former mayor of New Orleans who was among a panel of guests. They were talking about the refugee situation in the city, and he stopped them, asking them to please not refer to them as "refugees" but as "citizens" or "Americans." Not wanting to lump us in with them - the millions of other displaced persons around the globe. While his intention was positive, I'm sure, it points to something that is at the core of our national issues.

There is nothing inherently negative or demeaning in the word "refugee." That only comes from the intention, and conotation that we have given to it as a nation, as a people, and as a global community. We think of the poor, we think of the disenfranchised, we think of the helpless, and yes the hopeless. We think of the powerless and those that have no voice. We don't want to be them, ever. Isn't it impossible in this country?

Not calling them refugees has two inherent long range problems that will not only hurt them, but us as well. First of all, refusing to call them what they are has the effect of separating them - and us - from the others who are suffering in the world, and in this country. At a time that could be drawing us together in compassion with the rest of the world, and increasing our understanding as to the nature and effects of our own policies, blindness, and environmental degradation, we are cutting ourselves from that global heart, and that global - and human - REALITY. We are once again not like "them." Inadvertently, the former mayor, an African-American, uttered one of the most ancient racist statements of all time.

Another aspect of this idea lies in the treatment those effected by the hurricane can and will receive. If you don't think that renaming something has an effect on such things, you don't know our government or global system very well. For instance, as soon as Bush declared the city a "state of emergency" money then became available. Nothing changed about the situation except the conceptual and literal framework that it was being put in. Imagine the similar consequences for people! Utter the right words and Open Sesame!, utter the wrong words and waste away in the Astrodome.

"Refugee" carries a lot more emotional and accurate weight than "displaced person" (sounds like they lost their car in the Walmart parking lot). Refugee has an immediacy, as in right now, as in thousands screaming for salvation at the Convention Center. Displaced person has the immediacy of sitting in a doctor's office waiting room.

We've done this before with people we've wounded - as George Carlin so astutely pointed out with how veterans were given less and less treatment for the emotional and psychological scars of war as what they were going through was described as "shell shock," to "post tramatic stress syndome." One is immediate, the other just somehow isn't. The people of the South don't need a lot of debating going on right now. They need immediate action.

I also find the images of those preaching and yelling on New Orleans street corners, comparing the city with Sodom and Gemorrah, very sad. Are we really so lost in the past? Lost in fear? People really do still believe in the Devil, in retribution, that if you don't read the right texts you're going to burn in hell. I find not only those words sad, but also the fact that there is so much more available and true for us, and that some people cannot see this. It's like the rich person who feels poor - who can't feel, expereince, or celebrate and share thier good fortune.

I went to Boise last Friday to Spirit at Work Books & Beyond, which was hosting a Weekend in Tibet. The Ven. Robina Courtin gave a two hour talk and she was so amazing. People asked her for a buddhist interpretation of the situation in New Orleans, and she did not shy away from the idea of karma, and how being there, in that wonderful comfortable space was the result of generating good karma. Being in this chair right now, expereincing some allergies, some discomfort, but a lot of light and love. We all have stuff to work on, and we all can use the things around us to help us bear witness to our own lives more clearly.

Truth and Compassion - words and emotions. So very very important in all that we do. If the eyes are the gateway to our soul, our mouths are the spokespeople for our hearts.

In honor of the refugees of the south, I open my heart, my home, and my resources to sharing and alleviating thier suffering. May their path be clear and may they find joy in thier new lives. I call upon Her daily in their name, and I also am riding my bike as much as possible rather than driving to not fuel the fires anymore than necessary.

In Service,
Angela