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Spirit of the Valley Blog
Friday, 25 August 2006
Spirit of the Valley Re-Thinks its Future
Now Playing: The Winter 2006-7 Issue May Be Our Last Hurrah!

Since the inception of Spirit of the Valley in 2003, we have received nothing but positive feedback, and calls from around the state to distribute and make available our amazing newspaper. While readership and circulation has literally gone through the roof, our advertising revenues – though substantial - have not kept pace with the increasing costs of production, as well as the reality of serving a larger and larger community base. As a free publication, our ad dollars are what keep us going.


Through the years we’ve upgraded the size, paper quality, and availability of color – as ways to both expand our readership and to better serve our advertisers. Our distribution has gone from 400 to over 10,000, and we’re running out every issue! In order to print more, distribute more, and keep this amazing consciousness raising, positive, and high quality publication growing and expanding, we need an influx of energy from the communities we serve. We’ve given our hearts and souls to this project, and want to be able to operate with integrity and wholeness.

For advertisers, Spirit has allowed people who are doing amazing work to let thousands of readers know what resources are available, and do it in an affordable way reaching a targeted audience. One of our goals when we started Spirit was to create just this kind of atmosphere for the practitioners, healers, and conscious business-people in the West. If we raised our rates, we would be raising them over the budgets of many of these people.

For many readers, particularly those in more remote and rural locations, I have often heard that Spirit is their window into a more expansive world, and has allowed them to connect with people and events they otherwise would never have known existed.

So, what does the future have in store for Spirit? We’re open to all possibilities. Its path may lead to someone new taking over the reigns who has the resources, infrastructure, and the vision to take it to the next level. Or, it may simply be time to move on to other challenges and opportunities.

Whatever lays ahead, it has been our honor and our pleasure to serve, and an amazing adventure.

When we started this publication, we wanted to see if the public would be receptive and open to new ideas, and the answer has been a resounding yes! What will the answer be this time?


While being in the center of a lot of information over the last few years, many of us have had a lot of time to reflect on the state of consciousness, wellness, and spirituality in this part of the country. While on the one hand there are an amazing amount of events and practitioners, turn out is often sometimes low for things that are truly amazing. When Lori Joyce of Idanha Productions and Midge Woods of Spirit at Work Books & Beyond put on Goddess Night in July, and about 2 dozen people came to see some of the most amazing dancers, speakers, and musicians, it truly broke my heart. The gift they were offering was so amazing, and the underlying message of self-acceptance and esteem was exactly what we say we all want.

It’s so easy to take all of our opportunities for granted, such as the festivals in this part of the country, workshops, classes, and publications like Spirit. How often have we said to ourselves, that’s wonderful, I hope people show up. The entire New Age paradigm seems to operate under a process in which we look to others to tell us the answers, mantras, or steps to achieve what we want. The lack of support for many of the wellness events in many parts of the state suffer from this – we are so used to sitting back and taking, in being receivers, when in reality, every one of us needs support, and if we fail to balance our learning with action, our taking with giving, we simply fail to grow. How often we talk about manifesting this or that, when the reality is that we don’t exist in a bubble, but as part of a neural, conscious web of action and being. We are so much more powerful than we have been led to believe. When the event centers around how to manifest parking spaces – droves show up. When it centers around embracing who you are, and evolving to and experiencing a new level of being, actively, right now, it’s always a small group. I sometimes think that attendance at such events is low because our self-esteem is also.

The central question remains the same however, what is it that we really want? As in most cases, we vote not with our mouths, but with our feet.

No matter what happens, I know I’ll be dancing.

If there is anything that I have learned as the founder of Spirit it’s that what you know, or better yet – what you think you know – is often largely irrelevant at worst, and way way off at best. I honestly can tell you, when I look at the success and reception of Spirit, that I don’t know how it happened, it happened in spite of me many times, and most important of all – that it exceeded my wildest expectations. I also know that I don’t have all, or any, of the answers about the future, but I know it will exceed what I am capable of seeing now.

“What do you really want? If you’ve got the kids and the house and the cars and the career, or any sort of life you’re fond of, and you’re looking at the subjects discussed here as a way to spiritually enhance yourself, really ask yourself, why you’re reading…about setting your world on fire.”

- Jed McKenna, Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment, page 164

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 9:04 AM MDT
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Sunday, 12 February 2006
It seems that we humans have been in what we have termed a "struggle" for a very long time, or at least as far back as we care to recall or that we think is important (i.e. since we have "civilized" ourselves). We talk about our history in terms of revolutions: the Agricultural Revolution, Industrial, various political revolution, and in psychological and social terms, as in the women's revolution and movments of this sort.

I think that it is very interesting and very telling indeed that we use the word "revolution" instead of "evolution" which is what, after all, we all think that the human race is doing in it's every expanding march for progress. While we think of ourselves as getting more advanced, our choice of language is the gateway into the truth of what we are actually doing - revolting against something we see outside of ourselves. The "something we see outside of ourselves" is constantly shifting, but the essential struggle remains. We've revolted and "overcome" against nature when we learned how to "harness her powers" for our own use, overthrown repressive governments and ideas with generations of our blood, marched on Washington, churches, and palaces to demand what we felt were our rights.

In short, we are in a seemingly never-ending struggle with the forces, institutions, and ideas that we ourselves have created! There is no such thing as nature that is separate from us. Humans created all forms of government. Our ideas exist inside our own minds.

When we see ourselves at war, we go to war, and when we are at war, we are at war with ourselves. What we are actually engaged in is the on-going struggle of the separation of self from Source. When we see ourselves as separated - we see the entire universe as separated. We see God as separate. A Course in Miracles talks about this phenomena, as do many spiritual traditions throughout the ages. The revolution of our time is to bring these ideas and beliefs outside of the exclusive realm of the intellect and deep into the knowing of our hearts and souls.

Our revolution is a circling back to home, a return, a reunification. In these spiralling forces of the path we meet the ever-present essence of love again and again until it finally gets through, until our eyes are finally open.

We see the world around us digging in to the third dimensional world, holding on for dear life to the idea of separation - of the most insane idea that we can achieve love and peace through war and disjunction - that we know better than anyone else. These forces collide, and revolve around themselves. It will take a disruption, a clarifiying, interrupting act to free up that energy and re-stir the pot.

Love is the turning stick, the mechanism of the light, the only thing that really is. The only thing we really are. It is not a concept, emotion, or state of being. It is everything. It is. It is not weakness, or pacifism, or innocence, or wishful thinking, it is everything. It is the encapsullating infinite question and answer to the universe, our lives, and ourselves.

It is not a force for change, it is the reality of change. Any idea or word or thought that tries to define it, limits it, and in its limiting it is revolting against its truth and creating an illusionary state of being. Love does not exist in duality - its opposite is not hate - because hate is simply a refusal to acknowledge love.

The revolution within - the revolution of love - is the revolution that we have been born for - the event we have been waiting for all of our lives. Not a comet, not a bomb, not any outside force that will force us to change, but an innner shift, an inner opening that will be the quantum leap of humankind.

There is no way we can plan for the outcome - no statement of future government principles that we can start shaping now, for our words our actions and our very thoughts today are still separated, AND we have absolutley no idea what Oneness really will look and feel like. We won't know until we are only love again, when we have let go of all duality, when we remember who and what we really are. Until we are really a coherent WE.

This will be the most challenging revolution that has ever occurred, but we need not enter in fear, for loss is impossible. If love is all that actually is, our not finding it or realizing it today does not mean that all is lost. It simply means that we need to open our hearts and try again. Love can never be lost. It can be forgotten, but it never ceases to exist.

No blood will spill, no tears need be cried. Joy is the roadmap to home.

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 12:35 PM MST
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Friday, 3 February 2006
Hello All Spirit Lovers!
It is with immense joy, and after much soul searching, that I share the news with you that Spirit of the Valley will be returning to a Quarterly Publication. 
As editor, publisher, and owner of Spirit of the Valley, I have always strived to operate under a concious business model of the future – one with a core vision as the driving force behind operations, and one in which those serving Spirit were also being served by Spirit. 
In the Western cultural model, success is measured by growth and bottom line alone, and we find that we too have been operating under this same narrow idea.  Success, in a conscious business model, would include the financial bottom line, but also other ideals such as environmental friendliness, quality, health, wellness, and level of positivity.  In a conscious business model, a question included in the bottom line would be:  Is it a joy on every level?  If it wasn’t, then those areas of stress and discomfort would need to be looked at, altered, modified, or done away with in service to the vision. 
We have found ourselves facing this exact issue.  We found that our workloads were becoming overwhelming, our family lives were suffering, and our outside activities that made us complete and creative human beings were being crammed in between items on our to-do lists.  We found ourselves faced with the ultimate question:  Were we still aligned with our vision?  We found that the answer was that, though we were in service to that vision, we were doing so in such a way that was unhealthy – though it may have appeared to the world to be highly successful.
After much soul searching, we have come to the conclusion that producing more issues per year of Spirit is not aligned with its core vision.  While we at one time looked to Spirit to be our primary source of income, we have come to realize that when we try to adjust it to meet our expectations of what it should be, we cease to operate in the flow, and find ourselves pushing and frustrated.  If we are feeling these things, and as its creators, we must also be imbuing each issue with this energy, which is most obviously contrary to our goals.  We have decided to let Spirit determine what it would like to be, and to once again allow the space for joy and vibrancy back into all of our lives.
We, above all, do not want to be operating a business in a certain way due to our reluctance to change for fear of what others will think about us, whether or not we are conforming to cultural ideals, or whatever our egos tell us.  After all, when I started Spirit in October of 2003, it was to allow the space for people to think outside these parameters.  In reflection, we see our spiritual journey through the pages of our publication as similar to the spiritual journey of everyone.  It is all a learning process, all a growing process.  When we began to think about going back to quarterly, all I can say is that great joy and relief filled our hearts and souls.  We knew we would be moving back into the ease that we had once operated within. 
As for all of the freed up energy that we will now have available to us.  I, for one, am excited about this year’s Sun Valley Wellness Festival with Spirit’s Advertising Goddess Heera Sazevich as its Assistant Director, infused with and informed by this consciousness of health and vitality and soul.  I am also incredibly excited at my new teaching endeavors, and the progress on the two books I have been working on in the wee hours of the morning, that can now receive more of my full attention.  I am also most especially looking forward to being able to devote more time and energy to each and every article and issue.

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 10:19 AM MST
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Wednesday, 18 January 2006
My Heart Broke on Brokeback Mountain
I just got back from seeing Brokeback Mountain and I have to say, I was greatly affected by it. The idea that the two main characters, who were each the love of their lives, could not fully express or be in that love made my heart ache. I thought of all the love throughout history that wasn't given the chance to be expressed due to fear and prejudice, whether inside ourselves, or out in the world. How much have we each lost because of this.

I thought of all of the theaters that are refusing to play this movie, and realize that this pattern of self-deprecation continues today, in our own world, in our own country. I see it echoed in how we in the West treat Hispanics, and how the world continues to treat Black or Jews, or Hutus or any other supposed separating factor. I think of all of this energy that is being used for hate and fear and think how amazing and powerful it could be were it transformed back into love, if we were only willing to express that.....

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 3:07 PM MST
Updated: Wednesday, 18 January 2006 3:09 PM MST
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Thursday, 29 December 2005
Enough is Enough
While doing some intense work with my teachers in New Mexico, I've recently realized that I hold some very VERY limiting thoughts about myself, about who I am, and how I am in the world.

It's so funny when we all of a sudden see a pattern that we hadn't been aware of before. It's as if a part of us is like, Oh My God! How couldn't I have seen this before?! It's so obvious! I've had several of these revelations recently, and all had to do with some things I've struggled with for quite some time, trying to find solutions for in every way shape and form, only to realize that, not unlike a New Age cliche - the answers were inside myself all along.

Which is REALLY funny when you consider that the MO of most therapies and introspection has us looking at and delving into the sources of our original discomfort - as in, my mother didn't give me enough love, and deeper into true trauma. We are told that we must HEAL from these episodes and come to accept them and all that jazz. There is definitely a taking of personal responsibility for all of this, but it's down the line, so to speak, and not at the point of initialization.

We balk at this, don't we! It wasn't my fault that this happened, or that happened, even if we go into the realm of - I am in this life to learn certain lessons OR I chose this path before I was born. These still leave a bad taste in our mouth regarding others - as if it is our path in life to forgive others for their transgressions - as if we have such power over other individuals, as if that has ever really helped anyone. We still find ourselves at the mercy of the stars, the gods, others, and even in these best scenarios - at the spirit we were/are before we were born - which, takes us back to the paradigm of attach from the outside of the other options - yet in a much more confusing way - we feel attacked by the outside world, even when that force outside us is ourselves from another time. In short, we are angry, and every other emotion, at ourselves.

Ultimately, in any one of these scenarios, this is where the true wound lies, within ourselves. Ultimately, the only cold hard fact about any of these things is that we cannot go back and heal that original wound - all that we can do is heal the re-feeling and re-living of that wound - it's perpetuation of which we have TOTAL CONTROL. That original situation no longer exists, only its memory does. The memory lies deep inside us - psychologically, biologically, emotionally and spiritually. And, it is within these parameters that healing must occur if it is to be authentic and lasting.

In The Disappearance of the Universe, a companion to A Course in Miracles, it says that every situation in which a separation of any kind occurs is a symbolic and physical representation of the one and only original separation from which all subsequent separation stems from - our separation from God, Source, or Spirit. I'd have to agree with this on many levels. We all know that we often project feelings onto other things and people - our fear of financial insecurity is transformed into anger at a partner, for example.

All of our reactions, in fact, can be traced back to a feeling inside us - in fact every word. Language is our channel of communicating what is going on inside our heads and hearts, and inherent in every symbol is this reality, is this purpose. If we follow the words and the actions back to this source, we will then be confronted and informed by its origination. Regardless of WHY we feel a certain way, it is how we feel, as a seemingly separate being from others. Words are taken, incorporated, and felt through the prism of who we are, of our existing thoughts, feelings, and history. There is no such thing as objectivity. Even the scientist in his cold linear lab must filter his findings through the paradigm of the scientific method, his life experiences and knowledge, the language he is using, and possibility the most important, through what he is open to at that moment - what he holds - SEES - possibility for.

We are all these scientists and the knowledge that we are never ever ever objective is not a curse, but our truth - the beauty of who we are, as shaped by our experience, and the collective, and ultimately, our point of origination. How we filter the world will be different than someone else conceives of the same exact words and experiences. For some, what might seem harmful words could be construed as humorous, hateful, painful, inciting anger, or inciting ambivalence, depending on where the receiver is at.

We all like to see ourselves as the empty, objective recipients of events, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I am not at the mercy of this reality, though either. The truth is that I consciously am creating these responses - even if at this point it's unconsciously or subconsciously.

Those cliched phrases of think happy thoughts and happy things will happen to you don't really work for me either. While words are very VERY powerful, they in and of themselves mean very little - they must be imbibed with our own thought systems, history, and every changing awareness and situation.

Intention is also very important, but so few of us really dig deeper than the surface layers to not only examine, but give ourselves the room to truly feel how we feel, without judgment, that we actually end up re-entering the world of right/wrong when we try so desperately to set the right intention to manifest what we want or think is best for us.
I would say that, in reality, intention is an outcome of who we are - and in order to shift that, we must start the digging to discover our own selves.

When we uncover a hidden thought that is oh so active in our unconscious - such as - I am not smart enough - we are able to deal with that and transform the underlying system, which will naturally result in a shifted intention that is in line with who we really are. If we simply try to shift intention without doing any real work, we end up fighting ourselves, and become frustrated, disillusioned, and ultimately hopeless. It's like we're trying to heal the San Andreas Fault by patching up the cracks in the roads created by the quakes with tar and stones. Things might look a little better, but deep down the tension and friction is unchanged, and more apparent.

I've been disillusioned like this, and recently threw my arms up in the air around the idea of Abundance. I'd done all the work, so to speak, the visualization, the right words and phrases, the tithing, all of it, and found myself in the exact same spot financially, feeling like a failure, like a New Age loser and actually feeling like my original fears were right - that I was born this way and that I would always be this way - as if it were genetic, as if there were just some people who naturally attracted abundance, and I was just not one of them. It brought up old Catholic guilt, original sin concept, and the idea that there was something inherently wrong with me.

I became ever more angry at the loads of books that arrived on my desk - each claiming to have the way into true abundance, through a simple 26 step process, through post-it notes, through subliminal mind reworking. I began to understand just why so many people were turned off by the self-help genre, even though I totally believed that the underlying intention was beautiful. It was the outcome that wasn't. I didn't see it working in my life. I saw EVERY area of my life shift but this one. I saw happiness and joy expanding exponentially, but I did not see it manifesting as abundance in my life the way I thought and was told it would.

Now, we could go around and around in circles on this idea, but the truth is, for me at least, the problem did not lie in my interpretation of events or my life, or my failure to work the program - it lay in a deeper place that I had never reached before, and when I did, I began to understand things a lot more.

It was during an exercise I was working on for a class I'm taking, where the question was posed: Do you finally think that you are enough?

I was taken aback. Of course I didn't!!!!!!! Was I supposed to?! Here I was, immersed in New Thought, immersed in cutting edge philosophy and action, and I had never connected consciously with this reality in my life. I knew what I was supposed to feel, and even spoke as if I did, but when I cut to the chase, I knew that THAT was the fundamental issue with me - I still didn't think I was enough.

We were encouraged to journal about our answers, and a stream of 12 areas came out in which I felt I was still operating under the thought structure and premise that I wasn't enough in. I was flabbergasted. I had thought through all of my work that they had been taken care of, but they weren't. I found that my not enoughness with physical abundance and my body was just the tip of the iceberg, reaching down into the depth of every area of my life. All of a sudden I could see that this idea of lack was not a money issue for me, it was a life issue for me that was playing out in all things. Money and lack of self-acceptance were simply where I had my focus on.

I was then overwhelmed with an immense sense of gratitude and peace. Herein lay the answer to my problem, my own disconnection. Suddenly I could see it everywhere and it was so obvious. I immediately set upon creating what I call my Daily Declaration of Enoughness which I speak after meditation every day. I share this with you in the hopes that you may also find the own answers to your separation and to any blocks to joy in your life:



My body is strong, healthy, and perfect. I nourish myself with self-love and healthy food. I give myself all that I need to thrive.


I am a warrior. I trust in Spirit. I follow my soul. I am a wonderful producer. I love what I create. I AM success. I let go of all limited definitions of success.


I am a vibrant, engaging, spectacular woman. Positive and loving energy radiates from me always. I resonate with Spirit and tone with all beings. I draw what I need and love. I let go of all definitions of dynamic based on fear, lack and the past. They were unreal then; they are unreal now.


Everywhere around me and inside me I am encased and dripping with abundance. I am aware of and connected to the infinite nature of all things. As I more fully live in this truth, my density abundance increases. Any monetary issues can and are being transformed into their natural state of abundance.


I engage, explore and challenge myself constantly. I constantly am revealing more and more of the infinite knowledge I and all beings carry inside. I let go of all definitions of smart based on exclusion, knowing full well their shortcomings and limited nature.


I let go of all definitions of NICE not based on love and joy and embrace the truth of real love. I pour this forth into the world - always helping, always in service. I honor each individual, experience, and thing as divine. I trust my soul to guide me.


I am a loving, supportive, and nurturing partner. I shower my husband with abundant and unconditional love. I allow myself to being a partnership, to let go of all definitions of "the perfect wife" and embrace our growing union. I am exactly what he wants and needs. I see any suggestion as, not to the contrary, but as wayshowers to deeper love. I honor the strength and truth of our love.


I am a wonderful mother and nurturer. I allow the deep well of love inside me to come forth. As I do, I purge and release all false thoughts and feelings surrounding being a child and being a mother. I am limitless in love and energy. All beings in my scope are truly blessed to be there.


I am made of pure beauty and light. As I nurture myself in all ways, my beauty simply becomes more apparent - physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. Inside all is this divine gorgeousness and that is what I see. I let go of all definitions of beauty that do not align with love, Spirit, and joy.


I honor my own needs as a friend and I let go of other definitions of what is right or wrong. I allow myself to see the perfection in all relationships. I now allow myself to be in union as I naturally feel is healthy for me. I also understand that it is a two way street. There are many levels and depths, and all is perfect. I meet each person and am so grateful to be able to see past illusion and fear. I am abundant in friends. I let go of all illusions of the past.


I release myself from pressures to conform, and open up to my own experience of today. I allow my heart and soul to guide me and to be guided, and when there, to totally surrender and embrace and be in what is before me AND in what I am drawn to. I release all definitions of what is cool/uncool and see the perfection in all. I can see and not judge.


I am surrounded by universal and divine acceptance and love. AS I accept and love myself, I connect more fully to the oneness and acceptance of all. I release the need to only be happy through others reactions and feelings; I release having to respond any given way. I hold on to the truth of love. I hold this space for all beings. To those in front of me I offer open arms, I heal through presence and acceptance, and above all, nurture their grace.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 1:41 PM MST
Updated: Friday, 30 December 2005 2:48 PM MST
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Friday, 9 December 2005
in the bliss......
I have often spoke about how my dog, Diego, coming into my life created a whole new space for experiencing love. Yesterday, we (I, Diego, and my other dog Bogie) traveled over 500 miles delivering the Winter Issue of Spirit of the Valley all over the state. First, we went to Boise and delivered for a couple of hours, and then we drove to Pocatello. I brought the doggies with me because my husband is in Seattle for a while, and I knew that they, Diego in particular, would prefer to come with me and be in the car all day rather than be home alone.

They both seem to get very sad when they're not included in all family ventures - as if they would prefer to be with the pack than comfortable at home. I can relate.

Having them with me was so much fun, and in a way that it never has been before. I realized that as I've opened and explored my feelings towards Diego, I have become a more loving, empathic, and caring person. I also realized that a lot of my fear of feeling this love was the idea that if I opened myself to that love, I would also be opening myself up to pain. I found that my fear stemmed from my own past - and that if I were to really participate in another beings upbringing, I would be faced with the pain of my own....

Instead, what I've found is a nurturing core inside myself that has always existed, is full of love, and when I see Diego, I see a being who is totally enveloped in love, and who is constantly told in many ways that his presence is beloved. In that core of love, I see him operate from an innocence, and see grace and beauty in his every move.

He's still a head case sometimes, but I also see him becoming a snuggly boy too. He naturally gravitates towards the light, towards the love, like we all do until we are taught otherwise.

He's never been taught otherwise.

We felt like a family, because we are a family.

I also have been expereincing just a deeper sense of joy and peacefulness than at any other time in my life. Yesterday, I had several books on tape downloaded to my ipod, and then had a big malfunction with it. I drove almost 600 miles in silence and was okay with it.

This last week has been a lot like that. Things falling through on many levels with my naturally reacting in a positive way - which is quite a new thing!:

- snow storms ruining publication and travel plans
- problems with the printing - making one trip into three
- running out of checks to pay people
- flat tire on the way to printers
- ipod malfunction
- a variety of smaller things that happen at a rate of about one every 20 minutes......

I really felt I've gone with the flow, and am not saying this to brag but to note that obviously something I'm doing is working! I've been at it a long time, like many of us, and have recently stepped up the pace with teachers in New Mexico, and have been just filled with joy during study and contemplation in a way I never have before.

I am also experiencing a new sense of connection and perspective, with the earth. It's hard to explain, but it's as if something has been called up within me and is now being expressed through my sight - clouds look different, the weather brings a sense of recall, and I am more in tune with the stars.

Yes, it's all very "out there" but it all also feels wonderful, more grounded, and most importantly, true. True in my sense, true in my bones, true in my soul.

I was listening to Practicing the Power of Now, by Tolle in the car during one of my many trips this week, and one thing did stand out - that we focus on the past or future to ESCAPE the present. His suggestion was to stop running from the now, and to delve into it - all of the feelings, fears, joys, sensory perceptions, all of it - to really feel what and who and how we are. I had never heard it put in that way before and it had a profound effect on me.

Wishing love and joy in every moment to all of you.

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 1:02 PM MST
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Wednesday, 16 November 2005
Question to the Universe, and GQ.....
Rarely do I comment on things such as this, but I have to put something out there into the universal web.

I was reading USA Today yesterday (isn't that an interesting sentence?!) and there was an article in the Life section (the only section worth reading if you ask me) on Jenifer Aniston being given the honor of being named the first GQ woman of the year. There she is on the cover, in cut off jean shorts, and nothing else.

Now, before you label me a raging neo-feminist or man hater, please read on. I love Jenifer Aniston and think she is a fabulous actress, highly underrated in her serious roles, and well-deserving of acclaim and praise. I am troubled, however, by what is being glorified about her. Hundred of actresses have done amazing work AND would have looked great on their cover, I'm thinking Jodie Foster, I'm thinking Halle Berry, I'm thinking that woman who played the star in Monster.......but there is little Jenifer.

So, why do I care, well for one the way she is shown, almost completely naked and so damn skinny. Remember her early Friends days when she looked like a real curvy woman, before she starved herself to conform to the Hollywood ideal? There she is, a waif, looking like a 12-year old girl, vulnerable, exposed, you name it, and that is what troubles me. What is being glorified about her, rewarded in fact, is her succumbing to powerlessness, and not her talents, depth, and true charm.

I know, it's GQ, and the other award winners were 50 cents (everyone's role model) and that guy who starred in The Wedding Crashers.....need I say more? But, it just hurts to see these images staring back at me......reinforcing the current paradigm of density, adoration and yearning for the impossible, and shallowness. The truth is that these are exactly the qualities that are being reinforced in order for us to be blind to the reality of who we are, what we can be, and where we are allowing ourselves to be led.

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 10:47 AM MST
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Tuesday, 1 November 2005
WOW!!!! Luckily I'm a writer and I never run into the problem of "there's nothing more to say"!

I attended a Reiki II workshop this weekend near Emmett at the home of my Reiki Teacher and Reiki Master - Diana Siderides. It was so incredible, so empowering, and eye opening on so many levels. Just when you think it's gotten as cool or powerful as it possible could, Spirit opens up another door, we climb another flight of stairs and it keeps spiraling ever upward.

For those unfamiliar with Reiki - it is a hands on healing practice in which the practitioner calls in the universal life energy known as Reiki and channels it through to himself, a person, an object, a situation, etc......Begun in the 19th century in Japan (long LONG, but beautiful, story) it first came to the US in the middle of the 20th century, and now has quite a following, with thousands of practitioners.

There are three levels of Reiki - I, 2, and 3, and each level is a deeper initiation into the spiritual and energetic power of the energy. In First degree, we become connected to the power through attunments in which the teacher connects us with the energy, and learn how to use the flow through hand positions. During Second Degree, we were attuned on a more powerful level, and learned symbols to use in our practice to call in even more energy, and to practice distantly - i.e. the person or object we were treating did not have to be in the same physical space as us.

There's obviously a lot more about Reiki, but this will suffice as a general introduction. Check out the internet to learn more about the wide world of Reiki, its history and its practices.

In Second Degree, I found the energy of the house and my hands to be so strong it was almost surreal. Diana, my teacher whom I have known for over a year now, is so full of healing energy and love and REALNESS that it was wonderful just to be in her presence. She has been practicing Reiki for over 30 years and her attunement, connection, and understanding of the Reiki Consciousness is amazing.

I found during this class that I was open to hearing and seeing more about these aspects. I meet a lot of healers in the work that I do, and often, as is the case with most human beings, I make an impression of them based on a lot of things when I meet and interact with them. From my gut, head, and obviously my own past experiences, and the words that come out of their mouths. With Diana I realized that I had put her in my life as an amazing Reiki teacher, but there were things about her life that I couldn't place in my own understanding of Enlightenment or being awake. What I found this time was that either she opened up or revealed herself more, or I was suddenly open and aware to more, but I know that she is WAY deeper than I realized, and on, what my TOSA friends would call (see last blog message) the level of Ascension Awareness, while I am still operating a lot of the time out of Spiritual Activism.

At any rate, I now hold her in my heart as a Teacher of all things, someone to look up to, and a spiritual guide.

I'm so grateful that I was open to that experience, and open to having my ideas challenged and to letting them go.

While I can't go into the symbol details or much more, I will say that allowing myself to go deeper I gave myself such a huge gift, and feel today that my ability as a healer is more rightly aligned with the Universe, and that while I still have life doubts, and all of that, there exists a place and a power I can go to inside myself and all around me, that exists on a higher vibration but is ever available. For instance, when I was with Diana I felt and saw myself as a successful Reiki practitioner, and when I pulled into my driveway, I felt that it was a pipe dream, that no one would ever respond to my ad, and that I would always be scrounging for money, blah blah blah. I know that this is a common feeling in this Valley, particularly about the lack and not-enoughness, and that I have the CHOICE as to whether I will buy into it - operate at that level - or choose to operate on another level. I don't have to do anything.

That's my report from this weekend. I offer it to you in hopes that it will spark your own inner and outer explorations!

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 10:36 AM MST
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Wednesday, 26 October 2005
This past weekend I was fortunate enough to be able to attend a two day workshop in Boise, hosted by Spirit at Work Books & Beyond. Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa, founders of the Temple of Self-Ascension in New Mexico, and authors of Sacred Union: The Journey Home, taught on the basics of rediscovering your true self, living and being in total joy, and living a multidimensional existence. There were exercises, deep mediations, sacred yoga, and channeling. It was truly an amazing experience that has profoundly touched and changed me.

Sri Ram Kaa & Kira Raa


Sri Ram and Kira have been working together for a few years, but there center and their vision is still relatively new. Kira, whose background includes being an intuitive counselor among other things, began channeling an entity called Archangel Zadkiel, and Sri Ram became the recorder and interactor. Kira has no recollection of what happens during a channeled session. When these visits began, they both thought that she might be insane, and struggled with the messages and intuitive feelings they were both having about the work they were called to do.

They moved from Colorado to New Mexico, and settled on a 27 acre parcel of land in Tijeras, New Mexico, where TOSA is housed, and where the Temple of Self-Ascension has been built. They teach and lecture all over the country, have a wide following with their live and telecast classes, and have recently returned from Peru and Russia for special events at sacred locations.

This workshop was an introduction to what they have discovered, and a taste of what is possible. I have to admit that when I walked into the room, my defenses and ego went up, telling me that this was all full of crap, but I stayed to listen and experience. In my roll as writer and editor of Spirit, I have come into contact with so many ways of viewing the world, and have learned that when my defenses go up that it’s time to listen, because my reaction is showing me where I fear going, where my comfort zone ends, and where the boundaries are in my life that I might not even be aware of.

I’m so glad I stayed and began to open my heart to their teachings, which are non-dogmatic, all – inclusive, and totally and completely based on love, joy, and being at peace with the world. Their mantra, as taught to them by Zadkiel, is “if it is not bringing you joy, why are you doing it?”

In addition to my first reaction, my feelings over the weekend changed drastically. Halfway through the first day I realized that part of the joy I was feeling was due to the fact that I was discussing and listening to people talking about things, in a matter of fact manner, that I have felt deep inside my heart my entire life. Things that most of the world would see as crazy or wave away, but things that I know at my core level, that resonate with my soul. It was like breathing a sigh of relief, and letting go of some constraints I didn’t realized I wore in everyday life. It felt a little scary to just let my mind be and not chastise it, but it also felt wonderful!

The following is the first in a series of reports that I will offer to the public of the experiences I am so fortunate to partake in. I attend not only for my own benefit, but also to educate myself to be able to share new thoughts and ideas, and to broaden understanding.



“We exist as energy dancing with consciousness.” ~ Sri Ram Kaa

Key points to understanding who we really are:
- Being in a body is an expression of an intention made long ago.
- For rockets and space ships – 90% of the energy they use is required to escape earth’s atmosphere, and then they cruise. Self-ascension is the same way.

Beyond learning what we learned that weekend, we were taught that being present was about way more than the lessons, that energy was shifting and transforming in ways that we couldn’t imagine, on a cellular, genetic, and consciousness level. Both Sri Ram and Kira are masters, great teachers, and hold an expanded consciousness that allows them to operate on more levels than one at once.

Much of the work, I would find, would strike me, and take days to more fully integrate, and when it had, I found that habitual patterns and unknown assumptions, long held beliefs, and perspectives were shaken or shifted. Though, in such a wonderful freeing way! For so long I felt that I had searched for something more, that the path I was on was limited, or that there was something more, and in these two days I was introduced to concepts and ideas, people, that both challenged and excited me, and most of all, gave me hope for human potential on this planet.


We were actively encouraged to teach the following practice to as many people as possible:

-As light bearers, we have to acknowledge our power to transform energy put out into the world.
-Get a container – a dish, a deep bowl, and place it ideally on or in the earth (the elements and seasons don’t matter) and infuse it with your energy, holding the love of the entire universe in your consciousness. Consciousness localizes – it is what we have done as humans.
-We were then taught how to cleanse our energy field by standing by the container, left hands out and gently open skyward, right hand over our heads, vertically. We either said or thought the words of the negative aspects we wanted to be rid of (fear, jealousy, self-hatred, etc) said, “I love you,” and then combed with our fingers in front of us, pointed towards us, down the front of our body (not touching) and after we reached our root chakra (tailbone area) we sent the energy towards the container. We then raised our hand up again, and repeated until we felt cleansed, after which we would do one more, to get rid of things we might not be aware of that we were carrying. WE then repeated this process for the entire world, with our combing hand pointed out for the same ideas, not in a place of judgment, but in a place of healing. After we were done, we combed ourselves once more.

We then cleared the container, raising up the energy to the spirits and beings who are capable of recycling, transforming the energy back into something useful and positive. This is done once a week on Sundays at sundown at TOSA, and Sri Ram calls in all of the containers around the world to be cleared at that time.

It is like taking out the trash – when you take out the trash, you go outside and keep rummaging through it and inspecting it.

It was a beautiful exercise based on love, and freedom, and the effect was electrifying and empowering.


There are events, and then there are the responses to the events. Both need to be released. Are your responses feeding harmony or disharmony? Anything that takes you away from pure love and joy is illusion.

Pyramid of Spiritual Awakening:

Most of the energy on the planet is in Density Awareness and Spiritual Activism. These take many forms. Where the line between the two occurs, there is no difference between the energy of fundamentalism and other forces. Only judgment says there is. They are all vibrating at the same level. In order to move up, you must break free from the Spiritual Activist, judgment energy. It is a strata you have to go through. It is the first level of being awake and you have to get past it.

Ascension Awareness: line between this and Spiritual Activism is where most people stop. There is no support from the system you are unplugging from. They will tell you why you should not do it.

New Mantra: “If it does not look like love, it should not be done.”

Breaking free from Spiritual Activism:
- We are being bombarded with EMF energy and ideas constantly, from our TV’s, computers and other frequencies. We must be aware of this, and limit or neutralize our exposure.
- Soul Nourishment Program: Nourishing vs. eating.
- Remove yourself from traditional grocery store for one week. “Mass processed consciousness” on many levels.

“The purpose of a question is to open the ego. The soul has no questions.”

The only way out of Spiritual Activism is to recognize love within yourself. The container is safe place to release without doing or adding damage to the planet. She is full. No more “giving it to the earth.”

Ascension Awareness is being on a bigger canvas, beyond judgment, in love.

Millennial Shift: at the end of the last millennia there was a karmic release – all that is left is the HABIT of karma. It is no longer there and you can clear it in an instant. The ego loves to manage events and habits feed it – stop feeding it energy and it will die.

It takes Peace to notice Love which leads to Joy – which is a vibration.


We then did a guided meditation in which we focused on the energy immediately surrounding us, and then slowly and gradually expanded our energy outward from that point, until we encompassed the Universe.

I found this exercise very informative. It helps reinforce for me that size and perspective are all relative and subjective and I can move beyond my limited body perception into a more cosmic one – until I see the Universe as God must see it.


We then went into the Spirit at Work Books & Beyond Sanctuary to work together and explore telepathic thought. We teamed up with a partner, relaxed, with our backs against each other, using each the other to stabilize ourselves, who was using us to stabilize herself. Very comfortable. We then thought words and images to each other. We took turns being the sender and the receiver. Very interesting what images run through your mind, and how challenging it is to keep focus.

Sri Ram and Kira both noted that, with regular practice, they could literally read each others minds.

I found that I was received more vivid images from one of the men across the room than from the woman who I was working with!

Another point of the exercise was to revisit and experience the reality of all of the images that we are being bombarded with energetically – how all of the things appearing and going through our mind are not our own, but originate elsewhere. When we are aware of this, we can filter out what we don’t want or need more clearly.

The idea of EMF frequencies bombarding us and entering our minds first struck me as a little out there, but when I thought more about it, I had to admit, it’s all just energy. It is interpreted by a TV or radio one way, and by my body another. At any rate, it was energy that I was being exposed to, and given the fact that our bodies operate on a delicate, low level electrical frequency, these outside factors must have an effect on us. I have since done research and found a spectrum of types of resources that agree.


The earth recently entered a 3 year cycle of release. The planet is a crystal grid and if all of these forces are releasing (earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.) there are these forces holding it together.

Besides what is already apparent, there will be more animal extinctions (described as “mass ascensions” of species). Animals are more aware of what is going on, and a lot less attached to their physical bodies.

After this period, there will be a culminating point in 2012, in which we will have to make a choice about how we are going to deal with the world and where we are going. Our bodies will want to hold on to the three dimensional world.


We were then shown some sacred yoga postures that Kira Raa had “downloaded” from Zadkiel, some of which were available on a DVD they’ve made and others that had been channeled since then.

The practice is based on the idea of loving, acknowledging, and nourishing the body, which is even more important now than ever before because of how fast we are ascending. If we do not do this, then the body will become fearful and hold on, fearing that we will get rid of it. Our bodies run from pain – a density alignment. If you hold consciousness with the body, it will raise vibration with us. What we need to do is let it know that we love it, honor it, and will support its own development and growth. Conscious connection and appreciation.

“Thank you for your loving service. What do you need? What can I give you?”

The yoga practice was described as : Archangelic Galactic yoga tradition. Yoga as a prayer. The postures are gentle and can be done on the floor or in a chair and by anyone.

I have since incorporated the 7 postures done 7 times into my daily practice and have felt such love and support during and after. The intention behind it is so beautiful and so gentle, and in a time when we are so critical and harsh with our bodies, it feels so good to just do something that is meant to send it love and attention. It takes about 20 minutes, including a 7 minute free mediation.


Kira and Sri Ram then related what Zadkiel and the Ascended Masters had revealed to them about the truth of our history. The full discourse will be the subject of their second book, which is expected to arrive in Spring 2006.

Overall, they spoke of the idea that there has been a lot more human activity than what we are aware of or what we are told about here on this planet.

They spoke of this earth plane as the third time we all (as spiritual beings) had agreed to come together and have an adventure. The first was on Tu’laya, which existed on another planet, the next was on Atlantis, also another planet, and then earth. She said that while the theories of Lemuria and Atlantis are correct in that they were societies that once existed, they did not do so here on earth (though she did say that there was a civilization called Atlantis on earth, but it was not the developed one that so many have memories of).

The origin of the pyramid structure stems from Tu’laya, though the proportions have shifted.

They then spoke of the Divine Galactic Blueprint, an image available on their website: that was channeled over a number of sessions, that demonstrates the ascended chakra state. The DGB has not been available to us since Tu’laya. The DGB is the way home. Not the only road map, but the fastest.

All of this information is in your DNA already – it just needs to be reactivated.


Kira then channeled Zadkiel for us. He held a discourse with us and answered our personal questions. The experience went way beyond the words that were being spoken. It was an energetic experience like I had never experienced before in this lifetime. It was truly amazing, and my ego was just as disbelieving as yours probably is right now.

The message of Zadkiel, and the whole day was so wonderful that getting hung up on barriers and fighting with myself over what I was resonating with, was a natural reaction from my conditioned thinking. I did not allow it to stop me from learning and participating.

I came back the next day for the 5th dimensional DNA reactivation which was a ceremony and another wonderful learning experience.

After this experience, I felt so moved and energized that I was compelled to being a teleclass they offered that began last Sunday and is already proving to be incredibly amazing. I am so grateful to have participated, and the energy, thoughts, and releases I have moved through are staggering, at times very uncomfortable and tiring, but so unbelievably freeing and full of joy that it just seems to simple. But it’s not.

This work isn’t for everyone, but it is for those of us who have felt things all of our life, who are preparing for a large cosmic shift, and are thirsty to know about what is really going on.

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 11:43 AM MDT
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Tuesday, 11 October 2005
Update on Drew, Earthquakes Keep Coming
I was driving down the street today in Hailey, in a rush, thinking about all of the errands I have to do, when a feeling came over me of such abundance.

I had also been thinking about whether or not to take my travel trailer to Emmett in a couple of weeks for a Reiki workshop. Would it be too cold to have water that might freeze at night and burst the pipes?

Whatever we feel we do or don't have, we are truly living in the lap of luxury. We have access to a virtually unlimited supply of water to which the rest of the world envies us completely. We turn a faucet handle, like we turn on the electric lights, and without doing anything else, we have water, heat, and fire at our fingertips. Millenia of ancestors weep in their graves out of sheer jealousy. Our supermarkets are full of a variety of products, many of which we literally do not need, with such selection it literally blows our minds. Wow.

It's not like we all don't know this intellectually, but today for some reason, it truly entered my heart. How could we bitch about anything when we have all of the water we need?!

As I was watching images of the earthquake victims, I just couldn't stop thinking about where it had occurred - in the ever-disputed Kashimiri region of India & Pakistan. Having just finished Salman Rushdie's new novel: Shalimar the Clown, set largely in this area, I couldn't help but think how this location was forcing the two opposing governments to work together, to accept help from each other, and has the potential for the same negative fallout as our own hurricane experience has had. People were already getting frustrated with the lack of timely government response in the Kashmir, increasing animosities that have been brewing for decades. I thought about how some viewed the birth of HH the 14th Dalai Lama on the edge of Tibet to be a symbol of the issue of territorial control and integrity that would become so important as he grew older.

Is the earth taunting us, not allowing us to keep hidden these crucial issues. We are seeing a lot of the underbelly of the world right now. Not in small doses, but in heaping portions that are causing us to not be able to turn away. Everywhere we look we see. Everywhere we look, we cannot help but feel...We all, in our own ways, have a history of overcoming, somewhere, maybe way far back in time, we have all played all of the roles. We all can relate to one another if we look back from the hyper-present and take in the larger view of time and essence.

It's made me think a lot, and increased my feelings that we are definitely at a crucial point in our time as human beings. I believe in the collective unconscious. I believe in a Great Spirit. I believe I am one with all of this. What are we, consciously and/or unconsciously, calling forth from ourselves? What is it that we are preparing for? And, will we be ready?

Sounds like catastrophic thinking, I know, but I don't necessariy think it will have to be so dire. I do think, though, given our past and current actions as a species, that we will be forced to face the ramifications of the seeds we have sown.


Update on Beloved Drew:

He is still in the ICU at St. Alphonsus in Boise. After stabilizing last week, he has since developed an infection in his lungs. He is not allowed visitors right now due to his unstable blood pressure.

Whatever you want to do, Drew
we support you and love you!

Posted by ab8/spiritotv at 3:27 PM MDT
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