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Tuesday, 26 April 2005
lifeterms part 2
Topic: next
This is my awareness and prevention after I ran from all the things I have done wrong and crimes I did. I finally got caught an went to jail in Jennings county Indiana I asked them to take me to a doctor well they did take me to Indianapolis, Indiana they took me to a HIV doctor an was supposed to go back well guess what they said they had no appointments showing for me to go back in Jennings county jail then I got upset. Do you know that they never took me! The sheriff then showed me a list of bills that made me feel like he was just blowing me off. I thought to myself - why he is showing this to me. I still didn?t get any meds while I was there in that jail. Finally it got so bad I finally had to beg for them to get me out of there. Well I went to prison in New Castle, Indiana and they did give me medication alright. So I asked my mom the other day if she would to get involved with me. The following is what we did together. (Mark) Mom how did you feel when I told you I was HIV+ in March of 1994? How did dad feel about it? (MOM) I was scared to death! I thought you would die within the year. And I believe dad felt the same way. Well mom we still are learning more and more everyday and I love you for getting involved with me writing this. When I got out of prison I couldn?t vote and I truly wanted to.(BUT MY MOM DID) (Mark) How did you feel about my first day out of prison - when certain family members were scared to allow me to stay with them and there children? They were scared to death of the rash on my face combined with blood and scabs? (MOM) I was really glad when you got out son. But I was extremely upset that our family wouldn?t let you stay there tell I got there to pick you up. Ok, stop for a minute. This rash - I had this all the way threw jail and prison an they did give me some cream for my face but it didn?t help, in fact it got worse. Back to (MOM) My Aunt an Uncle felt so bad but the kids said you had sores all over your face and they were scared for there children and didn?t want me around them. Considering the way you looked made them scared. They love you mark! It scared me about they way you looked but more then the rash I was worried that you hade been mistreated and that made me very angry. You looked scared and felt that know one would ever love you. I just want you to know that we love you and if there is anything that you need we are here for you. (Mark) Ok, what really made me angry (and I hope this makes it to every paper in the world) is the following: I finally got a doctor here where my mom lives an got a HIV genotype done and some other lab work. My cd4 was in the double digits and found out that I was resistant to all of the medication I had been taking. I couldn?t believe what I was hearing and ANGRY is putting it mildly as to what I was feeling at that moment combined with the feeling of betrayal. I wanted to sue everyone involved and make them pay for there in ability to properly treat me. This isn?t a game ? it is my life! My mother asked me let it go. I can?t and won?t let it go. This has gone too far and I feel that I must let the world know about it. (MARK) ?How did you feel about me losing weight and my uncontrollable bowels?? (MOM)?How any mother would feel, WORRIED that you were getting worse and that I was going to lose you! That?s my biggest fear!? (Mark) It?s not fun when you lose weight like this cause of wasting away and when I get the night sweats it feels like some one threw a five gallon bucket of water on me and I wakeup that way or have crap all over you in the bed. Let?s now talk about awareness ? the HIV virus attacks the white blood cells. Your white blood cells are what fights infection. Since I been out, I have remained drug free for 3 years. I?ve been told Aids is a sin, well it?s not a sin, it is a disease. I live in a small country town an there is no awareness and prevention. Now how can you prevent yourself from catching HIV? Remain abstinent! A lot of people are not willing to refrain from sex however. Unfortunately no sex is thee only safe sex. Those words especially go out to the teenagers in this world! You have your entire life ahead of you. Think about it ? it having sex worth sacrificing your entire future. Aids can be transferred via body fluids, semen, blood . If you cannot say no to sex or are older and find the right person for you ? get tested first. If you date more than one person condoms are good protection to an extent, but some do break. Don?t be afraid of shaking the hand of someone that has been infected. Sitting next a person with HIV will not make you susceptible to catching it and there is no need to worry. I plan to add more to this revision of my letter. I am hoping this gets published and if it does not then that is one more example of the ignorance in this world. That is an infection in itself ? ignorance. People are not taking heed to what they are being taught about HIV and seem to not take it seriously until it is too late. From Mark Salsman an Alice Salsman

Posted by ab8/buckleupshutupholdon at 2:09 AM EDT
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lifeterms
Topic: hiv an me
Hi, My name is Mark and I want to tell you a little about my life. I am 36 years old and I?m a recovering drug addict living with Aids in the U.S. I have done a lot in my life that I regret, but this is something that I don?t regret is to share with you my experiences, in hope to make a difference in your life and to give back to the ones that have suffered from my addiction. I started using drugs when I was 9 years old. I used to think that drugs were so kewl when I was younger. My babysitters got me started smoking pot they thought it was kewl to get me stoned. I wanted to be like them. So little did I know I would be worse then them. All through school I tried all different drugs, but the drug that I was so into was speed. I remember the first time I stuck a needle in my arm I was 12 years old. I will never forget that! As I went on I started not to care about anything even myself all I cared about was getting high, that?s all that mattered to me. I ended up quitting school at 16 years old and working for my father as a furniture salesman. I was a spoiled child.As I went on,I started using meth or (crystal, crank) some of the street names there. I fell in love with my drug of choice and it seemed it fell in love with me. At this point in my life I had become a liar, cheat and a thief. I hurt alot of family members frinds an love ones. I moved to Florida I think I was about 24 years old. I went on using, drinking, stealing and hurting more people that cared for me. In February 28th, 1994 turned out to be one of the worst days of my life I thought. I was sitting in a detox unit and had found out I had tested positive for HIV. I thought this was it I?m going to die now. I?m glad I was in there instead of out on the streets because I would have ended my life. I stayed in treatment for awhile and decided that if I was going to die from HIV/AIDS, I was going to make a difference and do something about it. So after I got out of treatment I decided that I had to go out and tell my story about what drugs have done to my life. I was very good at it and I helped a lot of people and children. I went to treatment centers, homeless shelters and schools. During this time though, I lost track of what was important to me and that was my recovery in my addiction. I remember I was in Daytona Beach Florida and I had gotten drunk and also did some acid and decided that if I couldn?t stay clean I would end my life. So I decided to drown myself in th e ocean. So I started to walk to the beach and walk into the ocean. When I started wading out I remember cussing God, yelling "?Why did you do this to me! Why?! This is your love you give me"? Today I can say it is not God?s fault and He did answer me. The police got me and took me to get some help! Well, I continued going to AA/NA meetings, but was still using, not as much as I used to, but still using 4 or 5 times a year. So I slowed down. I worked flea markets in Florida selling shoes At this point in my life I was a wreck.I left and went to Chicago. I don?t know why I went there, I just ran away from it all. I went to a homeless shelter and stayed for a couple days and I started getting sick, so I went to the hospital and they admitted me. While I was there they found a place for me to go. I will never forget this place, it was a house for homeless addicts with HIV/AIDS. I stayed clean there and really worked on myself. I ended up staying for 7 months and came back home to my parents in Kentucky. I started taking pills real heavy on an every day basis. In January 2002 I went to the doctor and they told me I had full blown AIDS and they weren?t giving me meds because of my not taking them right would do more harm then good. February 2, 2002 my father dies from a heart transplant. He was my best friend. He was always there for me no matter what I did. Then 2 weeks later I leave and relapse. Take all our money and run. I can never say that I will never use again, but I can tell you it has ruined my life and my disease of addiction and HIV/AIDS has effected others.In october 2002 I went out one night an got drunk an ran from the police an went to jail first then they put me in prison for 11 months I got out in September of 2003 an now my diease has progressed rapidly.Today I look at life in a new perspective I live each day like theres no tommarow an also live life on lifes terms. All I ask of you is to protect yourself and be good to yourself because life is to precious to waste!! Thank you for reading this..................................................Mark

Posted by ab8/buckleupshutupholdon at 1:36 AM EDT
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lifeterms
Topic: hiv an me
Hi, My name is Mark and I want to tell you a little about my life. I am 36 years old and I?m a recovering drug addict living with Aids in the U.S. I have done a lot in my life that I regret, but this is something that I don?t regret is to share with you my experiences, in hope to make a difference in your life and to give back to the ones that have suffered from my addiction. I started using drugs when I was 9 years old. I used to think that drugs were so kewl when I was younger. My babysitters got me started smoking pot they thought it was kewl to get me stoned. I wanted to be like them. So little did I know I would be worse then them. All through school I tried all different drugs, but the drug that I was so into was speed. I remember the first time I stuck a needle in my arm I was 12 years old. I will never forget that! As I went on I started not to care about anything even myself all I cared about was getting high, that?s all that mattered to me. I ended up quitting school at 16 years old and working for my father as a furniture salesman. I was a spoiled child.As I went on,I started using meth or (crystal, crank) some of the street names there. I fell in love with my drug of choice and it seemed it fell in love with me. At this point in my life I had become a liar, cheat and a thief. I hurt alot of family members frinds an love ones. I moved to Florida I think I was about 24 years old. I went on using, drinking, stealing and hurting more people that cared for me. In February 28th, 1994 turned out to be one of the worst days of my life I thought. I was sitting in a detox unit and had found out I had tested positive for HIV. I thought this was it I?m going to die now. I?m glad I was in there instead of out on the streets because I would have ended my life. I stayed in treatment for awhile and decided that if I was going to die from HIV/AIDS, I was going to make a difference and do something about it. So after I got out of treatment I decided that I had to go out and tell my story about what drugs have done to my life. I was very good at it and I helped a lot of people and children. I went to treatment centers, homeless shelters and schools. During this time though, I lost track of what was important to me and that was my recovery in my addiction. I remember I was in Daytona Beach Florida and I had gotten drunk and also did some acid and decided that if I couldn?t stay clean I would end my life. So I decided to drown myself in th e ocean. So I started to walk to the beach and walk into the ocean. When I started wading out I remember cussing God, yelling "?Why did you do this to me! Why?! This is your love you give me"? Today I can say it is not God?s fault and He did answer me. The police got me and took me to get some help! Well, I continued going to AA/NA meetings, but was still using, not as much as I used to, but still using 4 or 5 times a year. So I slowed down. I worked flea markets in Florida selling shoes At this point in my life I was a wreck.I left and went to Chicago. I don?t know why I went there, I just ran away from it all. I went to a homeless shelter and stayed for a couple days and I started getting sick, so I went to the hospital and they admitted me. While I was there they found a place for me to go. I will never forget this place, it was a house for homeless addicts with HIV/AIDS. I stayed clean there and really worked on myself. I ended up staying for 7 months and came back home to my parents in Kentucky. I started taking pills real heavy on an every day basis. In January 2002 I went to the doctor and they told me I had full blown AIDS and they weren?t giving me meds because of my not taking them right would do more harm then good. February 2, 2002 my father dies from a heart transplant. He was my best friend. He was always there for me no matter what I did. Then 2 weeks later I leave and relapse. Take all our money and run. I can never say that I will never use again, but I can tell you it has ruined my life and my disease of addiction and HIV/AIDS has effected others.In october 2002 I went out one night an got drunk an ran from the police an went to jail first then they put me in prison for 11 months I got out in September of 2003 an now my diease has progressed rapidly.Today I look at life in a new perspective I live each day like theres no tommarow an also live life on lifes terms. All I ask of you is to protect yourself and be good to yourself because life is to precious to waste!! Thank you for reading this..................................................MarkMy Song

Posted by ab8/buckleupshutupholdon at 1:36 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 26 April 2005 2:03 AM EDT
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