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You know I heard a woman recently who said that if you write things down, they will happen. And now, I canít help but wonder if she knows what sheís talking about. She was a relative nobody and one day she decided to write some things down, what she wanted for her life and what she expected for herself. And amazingly, like 10 years later, she had achieved the things on her list. So now, I am taking a leap of faith, I am doing the same. Iím taking a chance. On myself, and my faith. The odd thing is, for some reason I have belief in myself. Iíve never had more faith than I do now. So now Iím doing it. And Iím not going to just do this for myself, write these things down and tuck them away in the far corner of my mind. Iím going to put them out there the only way I know how. The internet. And if, by any chance anyone runs across this, I would like your input. Iím not anyone special or anyone extraordinary. Iím just me. A 20 year-old from a small town in Texas. But Iím determined to make myself happy. Thatís why Iíve decided to put myself out there. Hold no punches. Say what I want and think what I want. My whole life Iíve done things and made decisions for other people. Iíve always put other people first. Well, no more I say. Iím putting myself first. And whatever may come of this year, I say let it come. This is my experiment. Iím challenging myself. Iíve always been such a private person and now Iím doing the unthinkable for myself. Iím going to find the real me this year. The me thatís always been there, but Iíve always been to scared to let myself go. And now Iím doing it. And to anyone who finds this site, I say to you that you were supposed to end up here. You were supposed to find this, itís all about fate. Fate. Can you handle it? Give me you feedback.

Ok, so for my first official entry Iím going to make a list for myself. What I expect from myself this year. Nothing big or shocking just quite yet. But just wait, itíll get better.

1. Loose weight
No Iím not a big girlÖbut being a living and breathing women who watches TV and reads magazines I have the same pressures as ever other women in America. Things are expected of us, to be a certain size. And I realize Iíll never be a size 2, Iím just being real with myself. Iíve fought with my weight my whole life. And now, I will do it. I will be physically happy with myself this year.

2. Teach myself a foreign language
I love to learn, love it. I want to be Ďworldlyí. I will start to first teach myself French, and then onto Spanish. Yes I realize this will take time, but I want to teach myself. They always say if you want something done right, do it yourself, and thatís what Iím doing.

3. Start and finish Dental Assistant school
Being a person who supports herself financially, itís hard as hell for me to find the money to complete college. I believe that we are nothing if we do not educate ourselves in some form. So Iím going to learn to trade of Dental Assisting and Iíll do that as a job while I then put myself through college. More money is always good.

4. Read a novel at least every other month
This goes back to educating myself. I want to be Ďwell-readí and itís as simple as that.

5. Decide what direction I want to take as far as my career
I have recently decided that I would just love to design clothes. Just love to. Iím not going to lie. I want money and lots and lots of money. I want nice things. But I also want to make the money for myself, and donít want to rely on my husband to bring home all the Ďbaconí. Yeah, itís a nice added bonus if you have a husband who is rich but Iím not all about marrying for money. I want to be self made. Iíll appreciate it a hell of a lot more. Fashion is hard world to get yourself into with all the Versace, D&G, Pradaís out there. But I will triumph. Mark my words. And damn all those who try to stop me.

Well thatís it for now, my brain is in overload. All this thinking can get to a girl. I promise I will not disappoint myself this year or my faithful readers. Here we go.