Once on a yellow pice of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glases
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the Year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his siter
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen
Dear Mom,
By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I just want you to know that there's nothing you could have done to stop this. I know you always tried the best for me, and if anyone doubts you, just show them this letter.
I don't know if I can really explain why I did this, I guess it's because I know that I'll never be happy. I know that every day of my life will hurt and be a lot more bad than good. It's entirely a matter of, What's the point of living?
I could have just gone and offed myself quietly, but that would have been an even bigger waste. If I go this way, taking the people who made my life miserable with me, then maybe it will send a message. Maybe something will change, and some other miserable kid like me somewhere will get treated better and maybe find a reason to live.
Mom, I could never tell you how unhappy I was. I knew there was nothing you could do to help, and life has been hard enough on you already. I'm truly, truly sorry that I'm going to put you through so much pain, but I hope that in a year or two you'll get over it. Maybe you could move away and change your name and even have a new kid.
You can start over. I wish I could be there with you, but I'm past the point of no return.
Love forever,
Metallica - Fade to Black Lyrics
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
From Autumn to Ashes- Milligram Smile
All my hopes and all of my dreams
Everything falling in between
Seems to me that the memories
(They) mean more to you than they do to me.
Through the sky and into your eyes.
And I see everything falling in between
Sew the lips right into your smile.
I'm OK with faking this,
I'll fake everything just to slip your kiss.
If I'm a writer, and I'm a poet, I might love you,
But never show it
You should forget me, this is a long tour,
And I'll be back but, not in time for...
If all we speak is rational thought
Everyday I pray for the sadness.
(My) eyes are black, my throat full of sickness
The words I write, are cheap and trite,
But they're drawn on the back of your door
Surrounded by, numbers that,
Remind of the ones before
All my hopes and all of my dreams
Everything falling in between
Seems to me that the memories
(They) mean more to you than they do to me.
Through the sky and into your eyes.
And I see everything falling in between
Sew the lips right into your smile.
I'm OK with faking this,
I'll fake everything just to slip your kiss.
The words I write, are cheap and trite,
But they're drawn on the back of your door
Surrounded by, numbers that,
Remind of the ones before
My lips are cold.
The truth is told
Email: afioldskool6@snet.net
