When i look in the mirror what do i see?
There's a stranger looking back at me.
I see a shadow of someone who use
to be me
Whatever happened to the happy person that i use to be?
I can't
go back in time to happier years
So i hold my pain inside and try to hide my
tears
Noone knows the pain that i 'm going thru
Why does the world have
to be filled with thoughtless people like you?
Mine is a sorrow you’ll never know
The road
I have traveled you never should go
My dreams have been taken, my heart
ripped in two
My story is sad but painfully true
Decisions I’ve made,
they’ve almost cost me my life
I’ve wasted 5 years, just battling this
strife
My tears are unending, my days have no end
My dreams become
haunted this nightmare begins
When my eyes open I’m captured by grief
And when my eyes close theres still no relief
Helplessly, hopelessly,
I’m crying these tears
Like raindrops they’ve been falling for the last 5
years
I really"Loved"him,and still Do,
But time
has past By;
Like I never Knew!
Sorry, for what I put him Through,
Never meant to,ever hurt You!
Maybe that's Why,
My
recent(5)years,have troddeled By;
And"My World",just isn"t Right!
But,I
told him,Good-Bye!
So Sorry,guess he must make me now, Cry!
People,if
you Really LOVE Someone,
Don"t be Stupid;
Such as I!
Don"t try to
Run ,From Your Life,
Or Yourself;
Especially,if it involves someone
Else!
If you make that Mistake,
It might end up Being;
Your own
Heart,that Breaks!
Then you may also never Find,
The real LOVE,that you
Let;
Slip Away!
I know this will never happen,
So I come on hear and
just keep flappin.
Will I ever be happy and free?
for that is what I
want to be.
Never really fitting in
I still try to smile
Crying blood tears
And hiding secrets all the while
Behide my eyes
They never saw the pain
Rumors are what they heard
But not my true vain
I tried to make friends
And pretend I was fine
Though I looked ok
They missed every sign
Even when I smile
They could never see my eyes
Filling with bloody tears
And hiding all the twisted lies
Darkness...My Home
I chose to go in this place
With apprehension, and
trepidation
It terrified me, horrified me
But it was different than where
I’d been
It had to be better.
Darkness surrounded me
I was scared and
anxious
Of what lay ahead
It was unknown to me
I had not been here
before
And it was not what I thought.
It was horrible and unsavory
I
scrambled to be free from it
I clawed to get away
Grabbing at whatever
would take me
And the thing I found was comforting
And it was wondrous and
marvelous
But it was in disguise
It had another form of body
One that
was evil and deceptive
It mocked me and scoffed at me
And left me once
again in the dark
So I began to love the dark
For it was far less harmful
to me
Than a false subsistence
And I was satisfied for a time
But the
glimmers of light were relentless
They would shimmer in on me
Only to
leave in an instant
Teasing and provoking me
Until I could not resist
anymore
So I plunged at the light
Hoping it would illuminate me
Instead of just glisten on me
But once again it was a false entity
For
I truly don’t believe now
That my surroundings will change
From this
darkness I have grown comfortable in
This I must accept as my fate
I sing myself to sleep,
It's the only way to keep from
crying,
And I pray that each day will get better,
So that my heart will
keep from dying.
I dream about him every night,
But I only awake to see,
That he is never coming back,
So from my eyes I wipe the debris.
I
wake up sometimes,
And find that I have cried in my sleep,
And all
that's left of my heart now,
Is a small, broken heap.
So again I sing a
song,
To keep my mind away,
But I just can't help to think,
Of what
things would be like today.
My heart would be whole,
And my face would
be dry,
And the songs that I sing,
Would never make me
cry.
What do I hide?"
What do I hide? My madness? No, that's the first thing I reveal.
Then what do I hide?
My past wrong doings? No, there's no in use hiding them.
One has to confront his past to walk to his future. Then what do I hide?
The
things I'm ashamed of? No, the things that should make me ashamed are sometimes
the things that I'm most proud of. Then what do I hide?
My feelings?
Yes.
I hide my feelings from people, because I'm not used to open
myself.
I hide my feelings from my friends, because I don't want them to
worry about me. I should be the one to worry about them.
I hide my feelings
from myself, because sometimes I fear admiting them.
I hide my feelings,
because I can't handle them.
I hide, because I don't know what else to
do.
I.Sigh.
I just pretend that I'm living.
A corpse without a brain.
A
body without a hearth.
A being without a soul.
A lover without her loved one.
STOP LOVING YOU..
I Find Myself Thinking Of You
And Tears Hit My Eyes
You
Were My Best Friend
I Never Thought This Would End
Now I'm Lost And Don't
Know What To Do
I Don't Know How To Stop Loving You
Maybe It Was Not Meant To Be
But It Doesn't Stop The
Pain Inside Of Me
Friends Say In Time My Heart Will Mend
I Might Go On And
Love Again
But They Never Looked Deep Into Your Eyes
Or Felt Your Touch Or
Heard Your Sighs
I'll Never Regret The Love We Shared
The Memories Of You
Will Always Be There
I Don't Know How To Stop Loving You
I Can Tell My Head
But My Heart Won't Listen
It Only Knows
It's You I'm Missing
I Hope You Understand
I'm Not Trying To Hold On To
Something That Cannot Be
But Rather Deal With The Hurt
Because You're
Still Apart Of Me
I Don't Know How To Stop Loving You
I'll Miss Talking
To You Every Night
Even Though Now & Then We Had A Fight
Please Bare
With Me
I Know Not What To Do
I Don't Know How To Stop Loving
You
Please Tell Me How To Stop Loving You
My Tears
I squeeze my eyes to shut out the tears
But the emptiness from
all the years
Have taken their toll on me today.
Bitter tears fall
anyway.
Oh, I want to be happy today
And nothing much is wrong;
Yet I
feel so empty inside
Lacking, lacking, so much is lacking
I have my pride,
so much so much pride
I won’t confide, but I write, I write
To ease the
pain.
The pain, its there, always there,
Just waiting to strike me
here,
In my heart of hearts.
My prince had my heart
And now he’s gone.
My prince is gone,
Where is my prince,
He left so long ago.
Sleep,
God, let me sleep
Let me dream of feeling alive
Living is so hard, just
let me dream.
I can dream of being alive.
I pray I pray, God knows I
do
Why don’t my prayers come true?
In the darkness of my room,
I feel
God standing there,
He whispers in my ear,
Come to me, come to me
dear.
I have bottled all your tears
To make the diamonds for your
crown
Now come, I won't let you down.
Our Marriage Is Over And I Miss You
The dust has settled and
the business is done.
Our marriage is over and our new lives begun.
I know I am healing, I feel it each day,
But a deep rooted feeling will not go away.
Time is a healer but time’s not enough.
I must be determined and sometimes it’s tough.
A sound or a smell can transport me away
To a wonderful moment, now so far away,
When life was so sunny and love was new.
When you really loved me and I loved you.
In private reflection my subconscious screams
That I still hold your heart, I still haunt your dreams.
My ego is trying to undo the done.
I know you don’t love me and know you are gone.
I have learned painful lessons and I‘m sure you have too.
And I wish us both joy in whatever we do.
There’s a place in my heart where you’ll always belong.
I miss you, but it’s time for my heart to move on.
What do I do, now I've reached the
edge?
The cliff is steep to the plain
below.
Miles upon miles of emptry
air
And no hand will I hold, but your
hand
and you are not
there!
What do I do when smothering
black
Of night engulfs me ... coldly
dark
So dark I tingle with sudden
fear
No arms do I need but your
arms
And you are not
there!
What do I do with a life that
tells
the end of the world in a darkened
mist
But still must keep senselessly
on
No love keeps my heart, but your
love
And you ... you are gone!
Why didn't they care for me.......?????
My inside they never did see,
My
heart cries......my body is sore,
Paralyzing me to the innermost
core,
The anger inside me can take no more.
The frustration, the misery and
pain,
Driving me crazy...turning me insane,
Escaping away, do
I have what it needs??
And finally I accept the things the way the
are,
trying to live, trying to bear.....!!!
Depression is like a tidal wave pulling you
further in
You don't feel upto facing anyone or
anything
Depression is a huge emphasis on feeling sad
and low
You feel like you're in a dark place with nowhere else to
go
Depression is like you're falling deeper into a
black hole
Your mind feels violated and as though you have no
control
Depression is having little energy or lack of
motivation
You feel tired and don't want to engage in
conversation
Depression is used in the wrong context by
naive people
They dont understand the seriousness of how it affects
people
Depression is isolation, withdrawel, low
self-esteem and more
You will never understand it unless you've been through
it before
When your sad and nobdy notices,
it makes
you even worse,
you feel like you are worthless,
like no one really
cares,
as if you are just flesh that's going to waste
life is short,
to
short,
when you live it depressed,
you don't really live,
you die very
slowly,
as if to be eaten alive in the slowest way,
when you see a
depressed person and just pass,
think about how u just destroyed a peace of
them,
broke another peace off their heart,
so next time you see a
depressed person don't destroy them,
help them,
talk to them,
don't
just walk past them.
What if.
What if I had jumped?
What if I had given
in?
What if I had shot or swallowed or hung?
What if I had given
up?
What would have happened?
If I was no longer here.
But I am
here.
And I didn't give in.
I didn't give up.
And I am stronger for
it.
I was so close,
But then I was saved.
By whom?
Myself, or
someone else?
I may never know.
But to whomever it was,
I am deeply and
eternally grateful.
And I can never think like that.
Never again.
There
are no what ifs.
There is just what is.
What is.
It's the only thing
that matters.
Because you cannot change the past.
You have no control over
the future.
But the present is a gift, use it wisely,
And you will never
have to worry about what was or what never was again.
No more what
ifs.
What if is futile.
There is only what is.
