Current Peer Group Interaction

     At the time they were interviewed virtually none of the 300 love-
shy men studied for this book were involved with any significant friend-
ships. A small number of them carried on a semi-active letter writing
correspondence with "pen pals" located in distant parts of the world.
And some of them were occasionally invited by co-workers to attend
informal get-togethers. However, none of the love-shys with whom I
talked had anyone of either gender who they could feel free about spon-
taneously contacting for informal conversation or for mutual visitation,
for going out to a movie or a restaurant, etc. In short, none of these
men were integrated into any kind of an informal friendship network.
      Most of these men possessed surprisingly good insight into how
during their formative years they had learned to associate peer inter-
action with pain and humiliation. In fact, many of them were too intro-
spective about their pasts. Not having any friends to distract them, many
of these men would typically spend a great deal of time each day brood-
ing about the past and the influence that it might have had upon them.
Often such brooding would be interrupted only by their listening to
their stereos or by their watching television. Most of the private thought
and introspection activities of the love-shys (apart from their daydreams
about being with a girl) revolved around either (1) their painful pasts
and the impact that past experiences might have had upon their ability
to secure female companionship, and (2) intellectual topics often per-
taining to such matters as music, entertainment, the arts, theatre trivia,
psychological subjects, and subjects pertinent to psychic phenomena
and the occult.
     But there appear to be some other important factors serving to keep
most of the love-shys from even wanting male friendships. Most of the
love-shys quite frankly indicated that even if they could get it they preferred
loneliness over the idea of having male friendships. Of course, since
they did not want male companionship, there were no feelings of dep-
rivation, yearning, or hurt preoccupation concerning its lack.