Summary
 
     There is strong empirical evidence that love relationships when they
are reciprocal tend to promote psychoemotional growth as well as social,
financial, and career effectiveness. Many studies also support the view
that it is the most interpersonally skilled people who are most likely to
enjoy mutual, reciprocated love relationships early in life. Moreover,
young men who are involved in such heterosexual love relationships
have been found to be far more likely than those not so involved to be
enmeshed in networks of rewarding male friendships. Young men who
throughout their high school and college years continue to experience
trouble meeting members of the opposite sex almost invariably tend to
be characterized by a dearth of male friendships as well. And their social
ineffectiveness here can normally be counted upon to greatly undermine
their ultimate life chances for success and happiness in the world of
work.
      Love-shy men are usually highly self-conscious; and this impedes
their performance academically, socially, and in the world of employ-
ment. In lacking normal degrees of assertiveness, the love-shy are often
passed over and ignored by those who could provide significant rewards.
And in lacking normal levels of sociability and social self-confidence
they make other people around them feel uncomfortable, insecure, and
in time somewhat hostile.
      One of the most important reasons why love-shyness is a serious
problem is that it prevents its victims from participating in self-confidence
building experiences. There are very few if any experiences that build
the sense of self-confidence and self-esteem of a young man more surely
and thoroughly than that of winning the companionship and emotional
support of an attractive girl. Furthermore, the self-confidence that emi-
nates from successful heterosexual interaction is scarcely ever limited to
that sphere of human activity alone. It transfers to virtually all spheres
of human activity in which a person happens to be involved. 2