500 Things That SUCK

#1 having to find out the results of sneezing with your mouth closed in the middle of class
#2 old music
#3 when there is nothing on TV
#4 losing your socks
#5 losing money
#6 getting car sick
#7 having a broken channel changer
#8 stupid teachers
#9 spontaneously combusting
#10 foreign movies
#11 brushing your teeth with your grandmas tooth brush then washing it down with her denture water
#12 putting a quarter in a vending machine and getting the dumbest thing you could have possibly gotten
#13 brainy smurf
#14 egg salad
#15 being really old
#16 being really young
#17 old people
#18 getting in trouble for something you didn't do
#19 when ugly people ask you out
#20 getting kicked in the nads
#21 flat pop
#22 stapling your self
#23 getting suntan lotion and cooking oil mixed up
#24 finding out that Santa claws isn't real
#25 having a really good dream and waking up in the middle of it
#26 Sweden accents
#27 losing to someone that is really stupid #28 Atari's
#29 sitting on a cactus
#30 people that email me about how bad this page sucks
#31 Kermit the frog
#32 quala bears
#33 being attacked by a flying squirrel
#34 pumpkin stuff (just about anything that has to do
with pumpkins)
#35 falling off the edge of the world
#36 fords
#37 alarm clocks
#38 people that can't talk normal
#39 itchy shirts
#40 when your dog is smarter than you
#41 stop lights
#42 people that spit when they talk
#43 men in Speedo's
#44 small rocks in your shoe
#45 finding out that your dads not really a man!
#46 long finger nails
#47 when someone is better than you at every thing
#48 when someone sneezes and your thirst is quenched
#49 hitting a parked car on your bike
#50 being a parked bike and getting hit by a car
#51 buck teeth
#52 winnie the pooh
#53 getting attacked by a baboon (trust me, that hurts!)
#54 mentos commercials
#55 bush the band
#56 ugly super models
#57 homework
#58 golf
#59 hamsters
#60 Mickey Mouse
#61 spilling bacon grease all over your self
#62 hitting your thumb with a hammer
#63 getting your hair wet with a spray bottle filled with perfume
#64 forgetting to use an oven mit
#65 getting on the wrong airplane
#66 old music
#67 calling the wrong phone number
#68 getting x-lax mixed up with candy
#69 picking up a cat while their pooping
#70 having a flat tire
#71 dieing
#72 running out of toilet paper
#73 brain freezes
#74 being a dork
#75 getting hurt
#76 fire works gone bad
#77 school
#77.5 school sucks so bad I decided to list it twice
#78 getting dumped
#79 drowning
#80 not having shoe laces
#81 coconuts
#82 tests
#83 dorky clothes
#84 getting burnt
#85 when dogs bite you
#86 having a splinter
#87 getting arrested
#88 peanuts
#89 Disney movies
#90 Ronald Mcdonald
#91 mean people
#92 math
#93 spilling model paint
#94 accidentally trick-or-treating on the wrong day
#95 being stung by a bee
#96 meat loaf
#97 the secret garden
#98 the wizard of OZ (accept for the part when the munchkins are singing and dancing that part is funny)
#99 being mistaken for a crash dummy #100 closing a door on your hand
#101 all the fake ass boybands
#102 poking your eye
#103 getting visean mixed up with white out
#104 having to do the dishes
#105 having to rake leaves
#106 being stalked by a monkey
#107 getting an F in class
#108 when the tag on clothes is poking you
#109 getting abducted by aliens
#110 falling asleep in the shower
#111 having to do a speech in class
#112 when there is a roomer that you are going out with the ugliest girl/boy in school #113 when you're in the back seat of a car & the driver slams on the brakes and you go flying out the wind shield
#114 losing the lottery by one number
#115 cowboy boots and hats
#116 hitting your head
#117 huffy bikes
#118 Madonna
#119 being stupid
#120 when your're in an airport & there's a Japanese family pointing and laughing at you & and saying a bunch of stuff and you don't know what there saying
#121 anybody that doesn't like southpark
#122 being embarrassed
#123 most books
#124 "Hanson" (the band)
#125 Elvis
#126 pony tails on guys
#127 any products that come from a cereal box
#128 books
#129 having a broken tooth
#130 losing your wallet
#131 educational videos
#132 any one that like that teletubbies
#133 curly hair
#134 rainbows
#135 clowns
#136 the color pink
#137 heart attacks
#138 topless tribes in Africa
#139 reading Japanese
#140 mysteriously waking up in Antarctica
#141 Barney
#142 flowers that stink
#143 the show "full house"
#144 the show "family matters"
#145 non-electric can openers
#146 cops
#147 really salty pretzels
#148 Mexican food
#149 farting in class
#150 hail as big as base balls
#151 when you have tons of shampoo but no conditioner
#152 Patrick Duffy
#153 people that smell funny
#154 cassette tapes
#155 gerbils
#156 getting struck by lightning
#157 the 7 dwarfs
#158 apples
#159 herpes
#160 college
#161 puffed rice cereal
#162 school work
#163 the name "Ralph"
#164 getting shot in the face with a paint ball gun
#165 the zoo
#166 ice skating
#167 sitting on a wet bench
#168 getting bit in the shins by a female midget named "Bubba"
#169 bat man
#170 super man
#171 Barbara Striesand
#172 Mary Popins
#173 soap operas
#174 Leonardo Dacrapio
#175 Jonathan Tailor Tommas
#176 rug rats (the show)
#177 spiders
#178 foreign writing
#179 school cookies
#180 school cooks
#181 school pictures
#182 sesame street
#183 power rangers
#184 chawawas
#185 that damn taco bell dog. May his soul be destine to hell
#186 pain
#187 health cookies (they taste like candy-corn mixed with meatloaf)
#188 vanilla ice
#189 flight attendants
#190 Backstreet fags
#191 n'stink
#192 98 degrees
#193 head aches
#194 "the artist formally know as prince"
#195 tight pants on fat people
#196 falling on a helicopter
#197 missing your finger nail clippers for 3 weeks
#198 lawyers
#199 afros
#200 spilling an ash tray
#201 barbies
#202 dog food
#203 old TVs
#204 being confused
#205 the weather channel
#206 Dr. Suess
#207 Charlie brown
#208 the fact the school wastes about 3/10 of the average persons life
#209 staplers that are out of staples
#210 freckles
#211 moles
#212 perfume commercials
#213 getting your ear ring ripped out
#214 when birds crap on you
#215 when gay people hit on you
#216 when someone wakes you up to ask you if you are sleeping
#217 trying to fall asleep on Christmas eve
#218 stepping on a nail
#219 losing your voice then three years later realizing that your last words were "were out of cheese!?"
#220 canker sores
#221 speed racers dad
#222 dropping a bowling ball on your foot
#223 getting hit by a car
#224 falling with a sucker in your mouth
#225 cats
#226 catching yourself on fire
#227 my health
#228 not having a dishwasher
#229 old cheese
#230 stepping in dog crap
#231 high school football players
#232 the price of batteries
#233 the fact that most small animals I buy are all genetically mutated for some reason
#234 being broke
#235 standing in a line
#236 bad hair days
#237 turning in work to a teacher then they lose it and make you do it over again
#238 people that think they are funny but they're just complete idiots
#239 stuffed animals
#240 being 1 level away from beating a video game & then the power to your house goes out
#241 getting raybes
#242 people that lie
#243 getting bird shit in your eye
#244 listening to really boring speeches
#245 teachers that hate kids
#246 happy days (the show)
#247 when someone skinny thinks they're are fat
#248 when someone fat thinks they're skinny
#249 disco
#250 acne
#251 trying to open a pickle jar
#252 when someone you know dies
#253 when it's finally the weekend & none of your friends are home
#254 2 year olds
#255 teachers that are too old and senile to think
#256 being short
#257 when you go skydiving & your parachute doesnt release properly
#258 those Pepsi commercials with that little girl with the screwed up voice
#259 working for a week & then going to get your paycheck and the job turned out to be voluntary
#260 Mr. Rogers
#261 leaving your cell phone on all night & having a $500.00 phone bill
#262 out houses
#263 Bill Clinton
#264 Marilyn Manson sucks himself
#265 spelling tests
#266 being born with zucchinis for legs
#267 lemon juice
#268 getting murdered by a koosh ball
#269 the name "Latisha"
#270 have to count to 1,000,000,000,000,000,000
#271 when the spice girls say "Girl Power"
#272 cursive writing
#273 when your computer crashes
#274 when a barber messes up your hair and then says "It'll grow back"
#275 the American writing system
#276 the sudden stop after falling from a high height
#277 really spicy foods
#278 getting your pants stuck in your bike crank
#279 those people that complain about violence on TV & video games
#280 people that like country music
#281 falling out of trees
#282 almonds
#283 getting a $2,500 surgery done on your dog, and he/she gets hit by a car and dies the next day
#284 people that do drugs
#285 running out of oxygen when your scuba diving
#286 stretch marks
#287 fat girls in bikinis
#288 biting your tongue
#289 biting your lip
#290 biting your cheek
#291 work
#292 taxes
#293 backing your car into a tree
#294 getting up early for work and realizing it's your day off
#295 falling asleep in your car during lunch hour then waking up 2 hours later
#296 speeding tickets
#297 walking in on your mom and dad while they are doing IT
#298 walking in on your brother while he's doing it with himself
#299 unknowingly having a booger hanging out of your nose
#300 drinking milk out of the jug then realizing it went out of date 4 weeks ago
#301 biting into aluminum foil when you have fillings in your teeth
#302 people that don't bathe
#303 sex ED
#304 finding out your dogs really a cat
#305 getting you ass kicked by someone smaller than you
#306 rich snobs
#307 Ricky Martin
#307 porn junk mail
#308 music from the 40's
#309 music from the 50's
#310 downloads that take a long time then they turn out to suck really bad
#311 cats
#312 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
#313 The Pillsbury doughboy-he's way too happy considering he has no Dick.
#314 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
#315 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
#316 When people say "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
#317 When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No ASSHOLE, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the friggin ceiling up there.
#318 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"..... Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
#319 When something is "new and improved," which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then it must not be the first one! #320 When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole you fucking pulled me over!
#320 when bums ask for money from you
#321 typing over 500 things that suck
#322 "G" rated movies
#323 Local access channels
#324 The channel "PBS"
#325 Being too young to go to an "R" rated movie
#326 Having to wait until you're 16 to drive
#327 alcholics
#328 When you're younger sibling steals stuff from you and doesn't admit it.
#329 Having parental controls on your AOL screen name
#330 Baby-sitting
#331 People who get sex change operations
#332 When people talk too fast
#333 When people talk too slow
#334 Guys who paint their finger nails
#335 Getting something spilt on your favorite outfit
#336 Frizzy hair
#337 Wind
#338 having to make-up homework when you're absent from school
#339 When you've been absent from school and the day you come back you have to take a major test
#340 When you're at the cash register and find out that you don't have enough money to buy something
#341 When you want something really bad and when you go to the store to get it it's sold out
#342 When concerts are sold out
#343 Almost all pop artists
#344 men who get breast implants
#345 Having protected sex and still somehow get pregnant and or a sexually transmitted disease
#346 People who dye their hair so many times that they can't remember their original color is
#347 People who get race change operations
#348 People who get cosmetic surgery- unless it's vnecessary
#349 Having annoying younger/older siblings
#350 Being that annoying younger/older sibling
#351 Getting blamed for everything
#352 When you just typed a long school report and your printer doesn't work
#353 When there's a bug crawling on you
#354 People who eat dog/cat food
#355 People who tell you to eat dog/cat food
#356 When people flush the toilet when you're in the shower
#357 People who don't knock before entering the room
#358 Going to the doctor's office
#359 Getting your teeth drilled at the dentist's office
#360 People who laugh at their own jokes
#361 Getting hit in the head with a basketball
#362 When people you don't know IM/e-mail you and they don't have a profile
#363 People who sing the shower
#364 "Got milk?" commercials
#365 When you're in the movies and someone who is really tall and has big hair sits in front of you
#366 People who talk during movies
#367 That middle-aged fat guy in Florida who created all those fruity boy bands
#368 When you kiss somebody with braces and they get caught on you're lip
#369 Having braces
#370 Having asthma
#371 When good pets go bad
#372 Pets that bite
#373 When people bite their pets
#374 People who howl at the moon
#375 People who stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate"
#376 People who stare at the microwave when something's cooking in it
#377 Hospital food
#378 People who call while your eating dinner
#379 Yhanni
#380 Kenny G.
#381 When midgets say "nice hair"
#382 People who watch porno movies
#383 People don't brush their teeth
#384 Prostitutes
#385 Having to shop at kmart
#386 tickle me elmo dolls
#387 When there's a bug crawling on you
#388 Elvis impersonators
#389 When teachers don't let you go to the bathroom
#390 Being caught chewing gum in school
#391 Getting food poisoning
#392 Racist people
#393 The circus
#394 Burping really loud
#395 The most unpopular girl/guy in school thinking you like him/her just because you're the only person in school that doesnt make fun of him/her
#396 People that make fun of other people
#397 School uniforms
#398 Having to buy shoes at payless
#399 Playstation2 (trust me that will really suck)
#400 "Housetraining" a dog
#401 people with clobbs of dirt underneath their nails.
#402 3rd grader jokes
#403 people whose breath smells like keys or other copper products (such as,pennys, door knobs,ect)
#404 people who aren't aware that their breath smells like keys or other bonze products
#405 prescribed orthopedic shoes
#406 when an old man pees in your left eye

#407 not knowing how corn in your poop re-stuffs itself
#408 conceited wrestlers that have ingrown toenails
#409 seed-warts
#410 when someone's eating cookies/crackers and launches crumbs into your cornea
#411 people who steal bagged lunches
#412 stinky scalp
#413 boils in your arm pit
#414 wet farts
#415 the discontinuation of the cereal Count Chocula
#416 fat people that smell like tacos
#417 8 tracks
#418 gays
#419 smelly animals
#420 brittany spears
#421 fake boobs
#422 artificial flowers
#423 asian countries
#424 african countries
#425 when cool things break
#426 ear aches
#427 stupid people
#428 sasquach
#429 cannibals
#430 the fact that Kurt Cobain is dead
#431 some rap
#432 when black people call each other "nigga", but when white people call a black person that, they get a cap popped in their ass.
#433 mowgli from the jungle book
#434 KKK
#435 MTV VJ's
#436 writing in pen and screwing up with no white out to be found
#437 tabloids
#438 cindy crawford
#439 oldies music
#440 male prostutites
#441 the color "robbins egg blue"
#442 school food
#443 sexually transmitted diesease
#444 viagra
#445 hairy people that dont atttempt to shave and they think they look good
#446 70's shit
#447 hippies
#448 the smell of shit
#449 sucide
#450 choking
#451 the indigo girls
#452 getting burned
#453 Zimbwabe
#454 skinny people with dred locks
#455 when old people give you pennies,or health food on halloween
#456 cold showers
#457aneroxic people
#458 bulmic people
#459 when your c.d.s skip through the good songs
#460 saying the oppisite sex has "cooties"
#461 dogs that hump your leg
#462 schools with no heat or air conditioning
#465 when people annoy you soooo much that you want to rip their head off
#466 finding strange objects in your food (condoms, nail clippers, keys...)
#467 Nickelodeon
#468 AOLs webpage making capibilitys
#469 prude people
#470 crackwhores
#471 merill streep
#472 Roseanne
#473 the fact that Chris Farley is dead
#474 when you go into a public bathroom and find out that you have to pay 10 cents to get into the stall
#475 lesbian phys ed teachers
#476 masturbating animals
#477 farts
#478 walking into any bathroom only to find that someone has not flushed and clogged the toilet
#479 cold feet
#480 getting a std from a dwarf
#481 preps
#482 dogs humping each other
#483 fat smelly people in elevators
#484 midgets
#485 stinky shoes
#486 B.O.
#487 living under a bridge
#488 Mrs.Buttersworth
#489 people with fake hair
#490 that guy on the discovery channel
#491 people that have anal sex theres shit up there you know
#492 laughing so hard you piss your pants in public
#493 ass cheese
#494 trains
#495 bridges
#496 losing your limbs
#497 being trapped in a phone booth while a bunch of large birds try to attack you
#498 misquito bites
#499 flat chested people who think the have something
#500 parents