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Memories of the Summer

Breakdancing on public dock near club
Team Ramrod
Tubing and wanting to get hurt
Weekend of Rain
Sara and the Mystery of the Size of the Hulk’s Penis
First Weekend at Devil’s
Bad Charlotte
Steven Queen
Fag Neutons
V-M- Gays
Complex Plan
Fourth of July
Can I write check?
Please sir, may I have some more?

Brownie Earthquakes at DQ
Toga Party
Catfish Derby
Mowie Wowie
Numb head
Mistaking the one hitter for a cigarette
Body Dragging
The Painful Sport of Handeling
Laura Vs. the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Gangstah Night
My Pre-Birthday Celebration (aka: getting drunk before midnight and then celebrating my birthday after midnight…)
Vowing to get out with a fun memory and quit drinking for the rest of the summer after that night.
Getting plastered at my surprise party the next day… Splattering rude comments, making an ass of myself, and vomiting over 35 times before passing out before 3:30 while missing what was apparently some fucking night.
Throwing up the next morning claiming I was food poisoned.
Throwing up at the Andover Diner and then coming out of the bathroom all red acting like everything was all right.
Mr. Crazy became a dick.
Officially quitting drinking till the end of the summer… or so I claimed.
Lasting less than 2 weeks.. while not getting drunk but getting high for the last time as well.
Inappropriate comments in front of people.
Getting way too fucking into Metallica and Tool songs that last time.
”Good Morning” at 1:30 AM.
Verbal agreement.
”What’s dignity?”
Cardinals Game
Collapsing in hammock on Devil’s
Dorney Park (old man in speedo, leaving earlier than advertised, the long drive home)
Never wanting to hear C, give me a C, give me a C again.
Pete’s tips
Pete’s apology for the tips
Dance Matter
”By definition, he is the master of the dance.”
Verbal agreement about the verbal agreement.
Dork Night which I wasn’t really at…
Public Dock D, Keri’s Party Boat
Horseback Humping
Fire extinguisher going off in boat
Port-a-john’s exploding
Having to explain 1000 times for my no middle seat.
Towing the Old Mattmobile around with the New Mattmobile.
Verbal disagreement about the verbal agreement about the original verbal agreement.
Accidently hitting buoy at full speed.
Hitting catwalk at half speed.
“I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You’re in the back seat.”
House Party.
Failure of power hour… spilling shit all over my tv.
“I FUCKING need you more than ever.”
Swim Team Dinner.
The skunked and old keg that I drank from anyway.
Cursing in front of my Uncle Steve.
“You can’t wear glasses because ya GOT NO FUCKING EARS, YA FUCKING FREAK.”
King and Queen
Power Ranger discussions.
Saved by the Bell
Nagging about seeing Freddy Vs. Jason.
American Wedding: Overrated but still good.
“It’s a play on words.”
Pig Roast (coming back drunk and being forced to dance with the drunk adults)
Talent Show. 1st place.
6:15 walk to McDonalds
Swim Team Sleepover that night…
Trying to wakeboard, fuck it.
Guze saying gay things while tubing like “We are so boned” and “FUCKING A”
Mountain Creek
Party at my house with lights out to not get caught.
Gay old lady turning on light to send sign to get away from house.
Arb and pig lattin.
Lunchbox or Bacon.
My anger problem that sometimes shows.
Raul and rum on the night of the Jibab
Bobby and whisky… vomiting his mind out
Skunked vodka… speaking and vomiting my brains out.
Being yelled at for eating lobster at my uncle’s party.
Jocko curfew time: 12:33 and 47 seconds.
Final night…
Trunk rides.
Lou’s boat constantly on the verge of sinking and the week when I seemed to be the only one bailing it out.
Kevin taking claim for bailing my boat when he didn’t.
Wild West City. Giant horse penis. Stolen guns.
Speaking of Kenny Varian’s wife right next to Kenny.
Belly flops off high dive and getting the fucking screwjob from everyone
Smashing my stolen gun.
Poor return of the strobe light.
Forced to drink warm water and teddy bears on ride home from Dorney while stuck up in front with Johnny cause jerk offs took up the whole back.
Gary at the Deli
JFK BLOWN AWAY! WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY? (me singing to Billy Joel while being driven to Cranberry from LVRHS in the trunk)
Finally seeing Freddy Vs. Jason.
Carrie... mistake.
---Following added 9/14
Number 83.
Homestar Runner
Dave commenting on Kevin's punching of mirrors and poles: "Well... look on the bright side... At least you punched all your problems away... Oh wait.. nevermind."
Lou saying "Kevin, put ya shirt on.. ya fucking titties are hanging out." [Submitted by Joey]
Abe-Nate asking what a nate was. Pete's response: "It's a fucking black person, you jig."
Putting actual effort into "Happy Birthday."
Sara's inability to understand "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" and her away message stating she could not understand the "Twin Towers."
"My motor was fucking smoking. And not the good gray kind of smoke. I'm talking about the black kind."
Lunch Two Lunch Two
Sara whacking me in the face for trying to scare her.
"What the hell are you talking about, Dan.....cemaster...? Your the Dancemaster, you gotta drink."
Beer Pong Psyc-outs.
Meg's crazy dog slamming the door into Steve.
Kyle and Sara going 8 feet in the air over the biggest wave I have ever seen at Cranberry Lake.
Tubing in freezing weather...
"We're going to the Andover Diner" as sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Bobby. [Submitted by Kyle]
Giving my disturbingly accurate imitation of my vomiting at my party. BLAAAARGH!!! [Submitted by Johnny]
Catfish Derby: Kevin and I driving to Steve's boat in the Mattmobile drunk and high through the channel, hitting trees along the way. [Submitted by Kevin]
And probably some more but fuck it… Got any more, IM me.