The high school years

I again switched schools to join an athenaeum where I initiated my high school studying Latin, the recommended direction chosen by the people who tested me. I did not like Latin but persevered because that direction allowed any choice in future studies. After another six months my dad got promoted and we had to move to Brussels. Again a change of school and this time again a mixed school with about 3 boys for every girl in the classes. This was also the pioneer school for the modern mathematics and we sometimes got personal tuition from the inventor, professor Pappi. We were the first class in Belgium to convert and everything was still experimental. Around that time I also got in contact with a nephew of my family who was just crazy about airplanes. Irony is that while he had bad eyes he had to forget about a career in aviation and he became a doctor, I took over a lot of his books and pictures and got hooked on aviation myself. This was early 60’s and major progresses were made that decade with the first true supersonic fighters, radar and infrared guided missiles and the development of supersonic transport aircraft. This was accompanied by the race to the moon and the advent of muscle cars all creating heavy technical interests in me. All this convinced me the traditional Latin education was not for me and I was able to persuade my parents to let me switch to the modern science and mathematics direction after two years. This was not as easy as it sounded because I now had to switch back to 7 hours of classical math a week. The switch from modern to classic math proved impossible to hack and I had to redo that year, also allowing me to catch up on the English lessons I had missed due to the Latin. That direction worked very well for me and I graduated a few weeks after the age of 18.

They want to make a man of me.

Lets go back to age 12 for a while and look at the rest of my personal life. Our doctor got concerned about my small size after some bullies at school had beaten me up. After some discussions with my parents it was decided I would get a series of shots to help me grow faster. These shots were very painful and administered in my back. I even passed out a few times. I do not know if it was the shots, puberty or a combination thereof but I started to grow and while never dramatic I rapidly grew to the size of the smallest guys and girls in my class. Incidentally I also started to get pains in my back after standing or walking for some time and this was diagnosed as a result of my feet being on the flat side. I now had to wear custom molded inside soles in my shoes and twice a week perform specific exercises at a hospital. Apparently I was not alone having those problems and there were a dozen other kids also scheduled for those exercises. Because most of these were individual directed exercises on different machines we never started or stopped together and thus were easily capable of using any of the 2 large changing cubicles to get into our athletic outfit. The nurses asked us to leave the doors open after we changed so everybody could keep an eye on his or her clothing and shoes that were left on the different hooks in each cubicle. One day I was rather late and all were busy already so I just got in the first open cubicle, closed the door and started undressing. On the floor I saw the ugly low ankle boots with short front zipper one of the girls always wore. On one of the hooks I also saw her colorful flower patterned wide a line knee length skirt hanging. I noted it had an elasticized waist and felt the irresistible urge to try those things. I only had very little time to do that and had very little pleasure of that adventure. The items were plain boring but still attracted my curiosity. This occurrence did not see any repeat actions at that place for the remainder of my training sessions.

My first own heels

My parents had decided they would stay in Brussels wherever dad would end up working and we bought a piece of land at the outskirts and built a house on it. In the meantime not only my overall size but also my feet kept growing and the combination of continuously updated orthopedic insoles in each time larger shoes cost us a fortune. My parents kept up with it because apparently it was successful in reducing the pains in my back. When summertime came I complained about always having to wear closed shoes but had little other choice with the mandatory orthopedic inserts. On the other hand my mother must have analyzed the problem and came up with a possible but unorthodox solution. She bought me a pair of sandals that had a very form fitting inner sole and apparent sufficient support under my lower arches. This was quite innovative in those times (Birkenstocks still had to be invented) and only possible thanks to this curved sole being mounted on top of a moderate wide heel. (similar sandal below)

I never needed any adaptation to this nice comfortable sandal and was happy I could wear open shoes again for a while. That summer I hardly wore anything else and had no qualms of walking on sandals designed for girls in front of anybody. My father noted even if I hardly wore my special inner soles anymore, I didn’t complain about my back either. The doctor concluded the pain in my back originated from my initial flat feet but when my lower arch was well supported and heel raised a bit my posture was different and spine straight. We got the message and as from that moment I always insisted on shoes with a little heel and formed inner sole, which completely resolved my problems. This was a lot cheaper as the orthopedic soles and special exercises and attained the same positive results.

Finding hobbies

On the friendship side I got acquainted to another small guy in my class. He had a beautiful older sister and when I went to play at his home I often wore her flat black leather calf high boots with full inside zipper. Apparently nobody had any problem with that and even wore them when my parents came there one evening. Our folks got together and had invited a scout leader to provide us some information about their activities. We both enrolled and during the next 2 years we spent about every Sunday boy scouting in the vast forest just south of Brussels. This was not my favorite pastime but my parents thought I would learn a lot of skills and make friends on the way to manhood. I hated the rough sturdy clothing and shoes and was not strong enough to do my share of work during those typical boyish activities. Next summer our parents enrolled us for a week of sailing school at the coast. I liked that so much that although my friend returned home, I twice phoned and got additional weeks of training. I came home after 3 weeks with a sailing license in my pocket and this was the start of a never-ending love of sailing. When I was 15 I was able to convince my mother to let her only son join the Belgian Air Cadets. 

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After 2 years of ground stuff we finally had our soaring camp and I was the first of my class to solo on a Rhonlerche after only 15 flights and 3 hrs in dual. I just loved flying and knew from that moment I wanted to become a pilot. The same season I was allowed to fly the soon to be retired Grunau baby glider.

During all those years at school I also had another good friend, a single child like me with lots of interests in model car racing and real trucks. We often spent time together at one of our homes racing our Jouef track cars over huge circuits, possible by combining both of our extensive track collection. He later studied university, got married and we still keep in touch after more than 30 years (his son became a pilot in 2001).

Trying girl shoes at school

Back at school I often was able to have a quick feel of the shoes or skirts of the girls in my class. In our old school there was only one long row of tiled shower cubicles available to change for the gymnastic lessons. First the girls got in and took the first stalls to change. When they came out to start their exercises with their female professor we got in and used the remaining shower stalls to change. At the end of the lessons the girls again got in first, took a shower and when changed gave us the space. At first sight an improbable set up for some tries but I found a solution. The only toilet available also was at the end of the long the shower room. One day I needed to pee and got the key from the teacher. Coming back I saw all those clothes and shoes in the different stalls and pretty soon my teacher got used to me having to go to the toilet extensively during each gymnastic lesson. Thus I always had a few minutes each week checking out and trying interesting clothing and shoes from the girls. I could not be caught because I always locked the door from the inside behind me and as long as I didn’t stay away too long did not raise any suspicion. Besides the interest in the furtive dressing I also was just glad to leave the gymnastic lesson itself. My small frame and lack of muscles made me feel uneasy attempting to execute the demanding physical exercises and I used all the tricks including feeling sick and the toilet runs to avoid a full lesson. This was only possible till the age of 15 when we moved to the new modern school with separated heated changing rooms. Looking back at those times I find it strange I only showed interest in plain skirts and primarily boots. I never showed any interest in undies, dresses, blouses or stockings. I always wore the items out of curiosity and never got aroused by it. Whilst other guys in my class started dating girls and got all excited about their recently discovered playmates I never showed any other interest as just looking at their new footwear and almost avoided contacts. 

Puberty and liberty

The school combined with my intensive hobbies, as sailing and soaring did not leave much time for the girls either. It also were the years of liberation and girls started to wear trousers (but initially were expelled from school if worn there). We are now talking the hot students revolutionary year of 1968. The youth wanted and got the freedom they fought for, also leading to the flower power and women’s liberation movement. Our younger teachers encouraged us and adapted class layouts and study packages to encourage active discussions concerning all topics of life. This was an ideal way to see how different we all were, how our ideas and solutions varied and how impossible it would be finding a single way of doing things keeping everybody happy. We learned to respect each other, whatever ideas or choices we made and discovered it was perfectly possible to live in harmony between 20 boys and girls all having different opinions and tastes.

First girl and end of school

At the age of 16 I got a motorcycle from my parents. This was a major improvement and got me to school in 10 minutes instead of half an hour by bike over 2 hills. Around that time I also got a crush on a Betty, a girl that often came to play with the sister of a friend of mine in the neighborhood. We became a couple and got along well together. Although I admired her brown leather boots I never wore them and our relation deepened and we spent hours cuddling and kissing at my friends’ place. That relation ended after a year because my flying activities took priority and I felt I had to make a choice. I got a faster motorcycle which I decorated in a similar way as some World War 2 fighters but had to sell it when a friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident.

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 My grandmother bought me my first car, a second hand Triumph Herald. 

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The career choice was a good one and at the age of 18 I graduated in science and mathematics the year of 1969, when man set foot on the moon and Concorde made its first flight. The sky was the limit so I joined the Belgian Air Force for pilot training.

In retrospect

Looking back at my puberty I can say I had been very happy, discovering and enjoying nice hobbies but showed very little interest in socializing with either boys or girls. Contrary to most of my friends I did not experiment with my sexuality and felt neither neither need nor desire to do so. I mostly lived in a small world of my own and did not care at all what others thought of this.