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General overviewThese pages will provide you an insight of how my life got more and more complicated. You will see how my own limitations and questions were slowly suppressed and replaced by a busy normal masculine life. I still tried to integrate my feminine side but mostly had no time to do that. I was not unhappy but missed something to be completely myself and have fulfillment in my life. It took me quite some time to accept this feminine side as part of myself. After years of efforts my true self became stronger as the pressure of family and society, and I finally made the difficult but unavoidable decision to out myself to all who knew me. I had to give up a lot but the reward in the form of peace and happiness in my mind was well worth the trouble. The future is still an open book but I'll let nature guide myself...... After analyzing my features and mind I came to the conclusion I had following characteristics, most of them during all my life. My
masculine
traits:
Body and
head hair Voice Tummy Orientation
sense Technical
capabilities and interests Pure
heterosexual My
feminine
traits:
Small
stature and feet No Adams
apple Long
narrow hands Shapely
legs without muscles Size 40
narrow feet with pronounced arches No power
in muscles Fear and
pain even on firm handshakes Some
breast development and the urge for more (already feel pain jumping without bra) Very
long eyelashes No
interest in sports Heavy
emotions Easy
initial contact (smile) from girls everywhere Interest
in gossiping with women and girls Obsession
for shoes Desire
for nice soft clothing Continuous
desire in endless shopping trips Eternal
times in bubble baths Time
spent in grooming body hair, nails etc Prefer
hugging and kissing to handshakes Need for
touching and cuddling (both ways) Preferred
sex the passive position on my, back being fondled on the breasts. Lesbian
interest My
shortcomings
as a man:
Little penis (estrogens vs. testosterone level? 0% sperm count) Very
little sexual drive Unable
to compete and lack of interest in boy games No force
to lift or open things Narrow
hanging shoulders Inability
to walk on flats after a while Itching
of rough clothing on my skin Hate my
balls, uncomfortable in clothing except nightgown and skirt
You can read all about me in following chapters:
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