Ryan Michael Saberon
July 14, 1990--October 25, 1998
Cancer-Ganglianeuroblastoma
The Little Big Man
I sit back, and take a deep breath, and let it out softly. Then I close my eyes to once again see your beautiful face. Oh how I miss your face Oh to just touch it again. I would love to hold you and tell you how much I miss you my son. That a day doesn't go by without me wanting to give you a hug and kiss. I miss your kiss's and great laugh and most of all your beautiful smile that invited me to share a part of your soul.
You are my forever love. It is you who taught me the meaning of life. I will forever be in your debt. It was your dying that brought me to self realization. It was your death, that started me on this journey down a path of enlightenment. A path that was and still is very painful. This path that was paved with human tears and sorrow. This path that was forged through some of the darkest moments a soul can ever imagine possible. It was you my son, with the help of God who gave me the courage to go on each day. It was in your courage and strength, that I found mine. It was in the way you lived your life, that I found my way back to mine. How could I not go on living when you lived your life to the fullest, even when you were dying at the time.
You showed all those around you what the true gift of life was. You showed all those around you how very important it was to appreciated every minute we have, because we never know when our lives could come to an end. You showed us all what it like to look death in the eye, and not only look it in the eye, but do it with grace and humility. My son, there are no words that can express your mothers pain and sorrow over losing not only my sweet little boy, but my best friend and forever after ending I once imagined for you. I not only lost my sweet little boy, I also lost my future hopes, wishes and dreams of a life time filled with you. I lost a life time of memories waiting to be made. I lost the handsome man that would someday walk down the isle with his beautiful bride in hand. I lost the beautiful grand children that would remind me of you when you were a little boy.
What I will have and keep forever is the memory of a brave little boy who on many occasions was every bit of a man you could ever want. He was in the body of my little boy. He was the man many would have wanted to be if they were in your shoes. The truth is they couldn't fit the shoes, and not because they were too small but because they were too big. So you see my little man, what you left us when you died was a lot to think about. You left us to think about the way we live our lives and what we do with the life we have. You left us to figure out what is important and what is not. You left us to think about the purpose of your coming. It is up to us to search our souls for the answer if any. You were the source and reason for their journey and mine too. I will always think of you as my little boy, but in reality you are the biggest man I ever knew and I am blessed to have been your mother. Until we meet again.
Love Mommy
© Elizabeth Weyhknecht 1/00
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