Title: Alternate Decisions
Author: Jackie Leb
E-Mail Address: jackieleb@aol.com
Rating: PG
Summary: Captain Janeway is shown how things could have been, by the one and only Q
Note: This is the first story I ever wrote. (way back in March)
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters and the setting -- I just have fun with them once in a while!
Captain Kathryn Janeway couldn't believe her ears. Her first officer, Chakotay, continued: "Besides myself and Mr. Tuvok, almost the entire crew has also expressed their concern......."
"Excuse me, gentlemen." Janeway's eyes moved from Chakotay's face, then to Tuvok's, her security officer. "Can either of you please state any instances where my performance as captain has been anything less than satisfactory?"
"Your performance as captain has been exemplary," continued Tuvok. "Our concern is with you, personally -- your seeming unhappiness and isolation -- which, in the long term, will eventually negatively affect your captaincy."
Capt. Janeway started to speak, but stopped. She had hoped that burying herself in her work would somehow stop the ache in her heart caused by the regrets that were starting to overwhelm her. She didn't realize that her unhappiness had become so transparent to others.
"Captain," continued Chakotay. "We have spoken to the doctor and Kes, who are also aware of your state of.......depression. The doctor has several treatments and medications, along with a telepathy program that Kes feels will be of some help." Chakotay paused and watched his Captain's face. He had seen it change from anger -- to embarrassment -- to a resigned realization that what her two officers were telling her was true.
"Commander Chakotay and I are quite capable of running the bridge in your absence." Tuvok spoke from his usual ramrod straight stance while Chakotay shifted uneasily from one foot to the next, finally walking over to sit next to Janeway.
"The doctor and Kes are waiting for you to begin treatment immediately." Chakotay was sitting very close to the captain, talking in a very low and soothing voice. "Mr. Tuvok and I felt that if we appeared together -- united on this important issue -- we would be much more persuasive. As you know, it takes an important issue -- like the well-being of our captain.... and friend -- to get us to unite for any reason." Chakotay half expected a flood of protests and denials, so he just sat there and waited........and held his breath.
Capt. Janeway gave him a small half-smile and got up to look out of her ready-room window, her back to her two officers, hands clasped behind her. The pain and misery that she was feeling was almost too much for her to bare........and she knew it was time to seek help from others.
Straightening her shoulders and taking on her best captain's stance, she turned around to look at them. "All right." responding in her usual commanding voice. " I will talk to the doctor and Kes...........
"Excuse me, Captain........"
"Yes, what is it Mr. Kim?"
"There is a large cube-shaped ship directly in front of us." stated the young ensign.
Janeway's face went ashen. "Is it a Borg ship?" she asked.
"I can't tell -- it doesn't quite have the same parameters -- and they are hailing us."
"Red alert! All senior officers to the bridge! " commanded Chakotay.
The three crewmembers hurriedly left Janeway's ready room.
"On screen, Mr. Kim."
The image of Q dressed up in full Borg attire appears. "Greetings, Madame Captain. May I acquaint you with the Borgs and their ship? I am appearing as a representative of one of their Collective. What are their pithy phrases? Oh yes..........'Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.' "
***************************************
"Q!" exclaims Janeway. "What are you up to and why are you on a Borg ship?"
"To get your undivided attention -- and I see that it's working!" The Borg ship disappears and Q immediately appears on the bridge in Starfleet uniform. He grasps Janeway's hand, bends over, and kisses it.
"Ahhhhh....Kathy, it's been so long since we last met. Your hand is still so soft and delicate to my lips." Janeway yanks her hand out of his. Q is slowly walking around her, eyeing her up and down. "But I understand that the pants don't quite *fit *as well as they used to."
Capt. Janeway becomes acutely aware of her inert bridge crew. "Unfreeze my crew at once and leave my ship!" she commands.
"Yes, well............I will eventually, but not just yet."
*****************************************
The next instant, Captain Janeway finds herself aboard a Maquis ship, which is being violently attacked. Quickly surveying the bridge crew, Janeway realizes Q has sent her back on board Chakotay's Maquis ship. She rushes over to B'Elanna's side to see if she can be any help.
"We are surrounded by five Cardassian ships, and two more are on the way!"
Chakotay responds: "Evasive maneuver Delta 3."
Another round of explosions hit the damaged ship, sending two Maquis crewmembers airborne. Several Maquis try to contain two of the worst fires on the ship. The smoke was making it very difficult to see, and the heat and acrid smell were almost unbearable. Janeway could not remember a time -- even when Voyager was transported by the Caretaker's Array to the Delta Quadrant -- when the situation was so seemingly hopeless.
"Shields are down to 25 percent! I'm not sure they will hold if we are hit again!"
"Captain, we are heading for a warp core breach in 2 minutes 6 seconds." B'Elanna had to shout above the din to be heard.
"Can it be contained?" Asks Chakotay's equally loud and strained voice.
"I'm running out of options, Captain! This small ship isn't going to fare any better than the one we lost in the Delta Quadrant. We are outnumbered and overpowered by the Cardassian fleet! " B'Elanna's voice is overshadowed by another photon torpedo barrage. Janeway is thrown to the ground and finds herself pinned by some heavy debris. She grabs onto a railing and pulls herself out. Addressing Janeway, Chakotay inquires, "Are you all right, Commander?" He grabs her arm and helps her up.
"Comm.....I mean Captain, we can try hailing one of the Cardassian vessels and surrender, immediately asking them for an emergency beam out before our warp core breaches!" suggests a disheveled and breathless Janeway.
Janeway looks at Chakotay and senses a resigned calmness about his manner.
"Warp core breach imminent in 35 seconds." states the impersonal voice of the computer.
B'Elanna is laying bloodied and motionless on the floor. Janeway is stunned by the wreckage and carnage around her. The noise and turmoil on the ship momentarily ceases, intermittently interrupted by hissing and crackling sounds. Chakotay looks at her. "I am prepared to die for my cause. My only regret is the loss of you good people........my friends and comrades......" And Janeway watches in horror as the Maquis ship explodes around her.
**************************************
Although she is stunned by the deaths of Chakotay, B'Elanna, and the rest of her Maquis crew, Janeway is suddenly aware of the sensation of floating. Removing her hands from her tear-stained face, an involuntary gasp escapes from her lips as she surveys her surroundings -- she is floating in the vacuum of space. She is awed by the stillness and vastness of the universe around her as she tries to regain her bearings, wondering how she can still be alive without the protective atmosphere of a ship. And then she remembers.
"Ahhh......yes, my dear Captain." Q was now sitting cross-legged beside her. "Part of your precious crew would be dead if you hadn't made the choices that you made keeping you in the Delta Quadrant. You humans! First Jean-Luc lamented his choices that led to his artificial heart. And now your *regrets* and *what ifs* are causing you to sink deeper and deeper into the abyss of your mind. I have taken it upon myself -- tearing myself away from my important universal endeavors on behalf of the Q Continuum -- to show you what life would be like if you had taken advantage of your chances to go home. Oh -- by the way -- your decision to grant Q sanctuary was so much better for the Alpha Quadrant! It appears that Q and his Q guard created so much chaos in that alternate time line, it caused pure pandemonium! When the Borg saw their opportunity -- they never even knew what hit them! My, my -- the Continuum really had "egg on their faces" over that one. But at least they had faces -- compared to those poor annihilated souls in the Alpha Quadrant.............Q suddenly catches sight of Janeway's look of horror. "Don't look so stricken, Captain Madame. I am only showing you the ramifications of your possible 'alternate decisions'. For you, this time line does not exist because these were not your decisions."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Janeway asks in her low, throaty voice.
"Because I want your enduring love and respect." Q rises and falls down on one knee in front of her. "I want nothing more than to woo you and become the most important Q in your life!"
"Get up. You look ridiculous." retorts Janeway.
"You have wounded me deeply, Madame Captain." Q stands very close to Janeway, bends over, and talks quietly in her ear. "To answer your question, I am doing this because I don't want to play favorites between the two human captains that are the most fun to torment -- you and Jean-Luc Picard. Also an inferior human, he had a multitude of *doubts* over past decisions. I allowed him to change some of his past choices -- with disastrous results, I might add. Besides," Q drops his voice to a whisper, "You have a definite advantage over Jean-Luc -- you are much more seductive in your nightgown than he ever was in his jammies."
Janeway rolls her eyes. "All right. The faster that we get this over with, the faster you can return me back to my ship!"
Even though they are still floating in space, Captain Janeway tries her best to muster up some dignity by standing in her best captain's stance. Standing next to Janeway, Q looks at her -- grins -- and then puffs out his chest and stands at attention in perfect imitation. He snaps his fingers:
****************************************
Captain Janeway finds herself underground in the Ocampa homeland -- or what use to be the Ocampas', as there are Kazons everywhere. Occasionally, she sees an Ocampa doing some kind of servile work -- pushing carts, or carrying merchandise. They were either following a Kazon, or a snarling, shouting Kazon was following them. The Kazons obviously had taken the Ocampas as slaves. Q was showing her the effects of not destroying the Caretaker's Array.
And then she saw her..........
"Kes." Janeway whispered to herself. Kes looked a lot like the first time Janeway had seen her with Neelix on the surface of her desecrated homeland. But the bruises on her face were much more severe and she had a slight limp as she pushed a cart laden with boxes.
"Keep moving, Ocampa swine!" Janeway recognizes the Kazon Jabin from the Ogla sect that they had also encountered on the surface when she first saw Kes.
"I'm doing the best that I can." Kes replied in her feminine but strong voice. Her retort was answered with a swift kick on her leg from Jabin's boot. Kes stumbled and fell. Janeway immediately went up to Jabin.
"Excuse me, but it would seem to me that if you make her fall, you will not get where you are going as quickly as you seem to want to."
Jabin began to snarl. "Who do you think you are, and what........" As Jabin reaches for his weapon, Janeway kicks him in the stomach and knocks him unconscious as he keels over. She then grabs Kes' hand and starts running for the tunnels that would let them reach the surface.
Janeway puts her arm around Kes' waist. "Hang on to my side so we can go faster!" Janeway commanded. They hobbled down the streets as best as they could. Several Kazons were in pursuit. They ducked inside a darkened pathway to catch their breaths.
"Who are you?" Kes asked bewilderedly.
"Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager." Janeway softly smiled as Kes, thoroughly baffled, just looked at her. "It's a long story. I'll tell it to you after we get out of this."
"We are not going to make it." observed Kes. "Leave me. You can get away much faster without me."
"No! We are in this together!" Janeway silently added, "And besides, you mean too much to me."
Trying to sneak back out onto the street, they were immediately spotted by Kazons. Everywhere that Janeway turned there were Kazons coming toward them.
Several Kazons grabbed Janeway's arms and two grabbed Kes, pulling her and the captain apart.
"No!" Janeway yelled as one of Kes' captors pulled out his weapon and aimed it at Kes.
Angrily confronting Q, Janeway asks, "What happened to her?" "The last time I checked, she was perfectly safe and sound on the Federation Starship Voyager catering to that insufferable little Talaxian and medically assisting that hologram with an attitude." Q and Janeway were standing on a deserted Pacific Ocean beach. Q was still in full Starfleet uniform, but the captain becomes acutely aware that she is wearing a very skimpy swimsuit, and her hair is no longer in its customary bun, as several tendrils are blowing across her face.
"What is the purpose of this beach and where is my uniform!" demands Janeway.
"You can't go on a beach outing with your husband and children wearing a stuffy old Starfleet uniform now, can you?" Q points to a man, his back to them, holding a baby and watching a small boy fly a kite. Two large, long-haired dogs are romping in the surf.
"Mark." Janeway starts walking in his direction, but when he turns around the face of Q smiles back at her.
"You! I had children with you?" Janeway asks sarcastically of the uniformed Q still standing next to her.
"Of course! Can't you see them? Little Q-bert and littlest Q-mora!" Q replies.
"If you think that I'm going to believe that you and I........."
"Oh, all right. But even Qs are allowed to fantasize sometimes too, you know." Q snaps his fingers and Mark's smiling face replaces his.
Janeway grins at the figure walking up to her. Still holding the baby, he bends down and kisses her. She is clearly taken aback -- it had been so long since she was with him -- since he had touched her and kissed her. She cups their baby's face in her hands and kisses her forehead under a mass of tow-headed curls. Then she pulls Mark's head down and passionately kisses him back.
He grins down at her. "Just how I like my women -- beautiful, half-naked, and desiring my body," he teases. Bending down and whispering in her ear he adds, "It hasn't been that long, my darling."
Janeway stifles a laugh. "If you only knew......." she thought.
"Daddy!" My kite's falling down!" came a small plaintive cry from the water's edge.
"I'll help him." Janeway turns and starts to walk toward her son when she suddenly finds herself away from the beach amongst rubble and ruins -- and back in Starfleet uniform with her hair fashioned in her traditional bun.
*****************************************
"You could have had a little more compassion and let me at least -- just this once -- hug the son Mark and I are never going to have." Janeway was surveying the interior ruins of a house. With her back toward Q, she was trying very hard to keep her emotions in check.
"Compassion? Being truthful is my one and only redeeming quality, remember?"
Sensing her inner turmoil, Q continues in a gentler tone. "I didn't want you to think that your alternate choice of returning to the Alpha Quadrant ultimately caused only pain. But the Continuum is going to allow me to grant you a huge favor."
Janeway turns around and looks at him. "I'm almost afraid to ask. Can I refuse to accept this 'favor' if I so choose?"
"Uh............no." As Q vanishes, two children in their early teens enter the disheveled room. The female is petite, olive-complexioned, and pointy eared. Her male companion is human.
"What a mess! But I know it's got to be here somewhere." said the girl.
"If you find it, it's probably ruined anyway." countered her companion.
"Your optimism is only exceeded by your good looks." She grins at him.
"Help me look anyway."
Janeway walks up to the children to introduce herself; but to her surprise, the girl -- seemingly oblivious to the captain's presence -- turns and walks right through her.
"This looks like it could be a hologram, but it's slightly wrecked." The boy holds a small cubicle box in his hand.
"Yes! That's it! I can't believe you've found it!" Excitedly, the girl rushes over and grabs it out of her friend's hand.
"Whoa! Take it easy! Why is this particular picture so special to you, anyway?"
"It's a holographic picture of my great -great-grandparents, and it's the only one I have of them." she answers. The girl activates the hologram, and Janeway recognizes the image as herself -- a few years older -- standing next to a blurred and obscured figure. "Uh-oh. Well, at least it's not entirely destroyed -- I hope I can get the rest of this hologram fixed." says the disappointed voice.
"Why are these ancestors so important to you anyway?" asks the human.
"Didn't I ever tell you the story of my great- great-grandparents? My great- great-grandmother was Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. She was wonderful! And she's my role model since I, too, want to be a Starship captain when I grow up! She and my great- great-grandfather were together when her ship was lost in the Delta Quadrant............." as they walk off, their voices become mumbled -- then muffled -- then finally fade away.
*****************************************
Captain Janeway is back on the bridge of her ship -- her crew still immobile -- she looks at Q.........
"Isn't the Q Continuum taking a big risk in altering this time line by showing me a future great- great-grandchild? Or is this a future that may or may not exist?" questions Janeway.
"You don't really think I'm going to answer that, do you? That future -- any future -- is whatever you make it by the decisions that you make. I know that I have put you through an* emotional roller coaster*, but I was hoping that somewhere along this sojourn you would realize that you need to leave your decisions behind you and not let *regrets* prey on your mental stability. Even though you are of that distinctly inferior human species......"Q pauses as he looks at her. "Let me rephrase that......." He turns around and looks at the universe through the viewscreen. " I have very strong feelings for you. I admire your bravery in the face of insurmountable odds, your steadfast devotion to your crew, your tireless efforts to find a way back to the Alpha Quadrant. He turns around and faces Janeway. "Your prowess in combination with your wanton femininity combine to make you a very, very desirable woman."
Curiously, Janeway asks, "Ah........the great all-powerful and ever-knowing Q. It seems to me that if you are attracted to me as much as you say you are, you can use your powers to make me fall in love with you."
Q looks at her and quietly states, "No. I want you to come to me of your own free will. Because you want to -- because you want me."
Janeway is struck by this Q she has never seen before -- his seeming sincerity and vulnerability. She remembers their recent journey -- all that he has given her to think about -- and wonders if he really does have feelings for her. She leisurely walks up to him, puts her hands on the sides of his face, and brings his mouth down to hers, kissing him -- slowly and luxuriously. After she releases him, Q is clearly surprised and somewhat flustered.
Trying to hide his discomfort, he returns to his old flippant self. "Oh sure. Just like all human women. One little kiss and you think you can have your way with me."
He sheepishly looks at her.
"Errrrrr...........you do want to have your way with me, don't you?"
Captain Janeway smiles at him. "Good-bye Q. And now, my crew?"
Q snaps his fingers and the bridge crew starts moving.
"What is Q doing here?" Chakotay remarks as Q's image looms in the viewscreen.
Janeway -- remembering the destroyed Maquis ship -- warmly smiles at her first officer. It's all she can do to stop herself from hugging him. She knew that action would certainly again stop her bridge crew in their tracks -- without any help from Q.
"Captain, are you all right?" Chakotay asks in response to the emotions that he sees in her face.
"I have come back from a most interesting adventure with Q. Janeway to engineering and sickbay!"
"Yes, Captain?" comes Kes' voice from sickbay.
"B'Elanna here. What can I do for you, Captain?"
Tears well up in Janeway's eyes. "Nothing. I'm just checking to make sure you both are all right." She smiles to herself, imagining the quizzical expressions that she surely has evoked.
Chakotay studies Janeway -- her relaxed, yes, almost happy countenance -- and wonders about all those reports from other captains of the conniving, sadistic, irresponsible, rude and abrasive behavior exhibited by the omnipotent Q. Maybe he isn't all that bad if he could bring about such a dramatic change in his captain's emotional state.
" I will be interested in reading your report, Captain." Chakotay replies.
"Au Revoir, Madame Captain. I will carry your kiss with me to the ends of the universe." Q's comment causes Tuvok to raise one eyebrow and stare -- along with the rest of the bridge crew -- at Janeway.
"Oh, and don't lose your heart to another while I'm away," Q grins at Chakotay. "I'm not finished trying to *win you over* with my irresistible charm." Q vanishes from the viewscreen.
"I think we all will be interested in reading that report, Captain." Tuvok states in his usual understated manner.
Kathryn Janeway looks at her beloved crew -- these people that she works and lives with -- who are standing before her alive and well because of the decisions that she has made -- and flashes them a dazzling smile. "I will be in my ready room. You have the bridge, Commander." Still smiling, she turns around and, with her usual brisk stride, walks into her room to prepare her report.
The End
