'A Gift For Sam'

‘…He saw her from across the room. The tall, captivating young woman seemingly floated to her seat at her table. He tried to get her attention, and finally he got it; their eyes locked…he HAD to have just one dance with her. After the present song finished, the two got up and moved towards each other with an unseen, non-verbal gesture. Their bodies met in a heated embrace as he slipped his arms around her slim figure and the two began moving to the music. Without thinking, he was working up the courage to bring his face down to her full, rosy lip…’

“DUDE, would you WAKE UP ALREADY?!?” An angry male voice interrupted the beautiful scene he had plotted in his fantasy.

“Damn you, Fatone! Couldn’t you at least be a little more TACTFUL when waking up someone who’s working on TWO hours sleep?” Chris mumbled from underneath the pillow he had slammed down on top of his head. Finally, after Lance sat on his foot to put on his socks, Chris took away the pillow, threw back the sheets, sat up in bed, and rubbed his eyes sleepily with a groggy yawn.

“Who’s fault is that, Mister?” A voice called from the bathroom.

“JC…SHUT THE…” He let out a huge sigh. “Just shut up, OK?!? You sound like my mother, for God’s sake!! Just ‘cause you went to bed and got seven hours sleep and I went out and had FUN…yes, that’s F-U-N - a word that I don’t think is in your vocabulary…at that club, doesn’t mean you have to be a prick about it.” Chris finally found the energy to haul himself out of bed and plodded to the bathroom with another exaggerated yawn. He slammed the door shut and started the water for a cold shower.

“Jesus, and I though JUSTIN was grumpy in the morning!” JC laughed, shaking his head.

His chuckling ceased immediately as Justin hurled a pillow directly at his head. “Yo, shut-up, Chasez…”

JC just rubbed his injured temple and laughed again. “All right…I think I’m just gonna shut up while I’m still in one piece!!”

“Good idea, Dude…” Lance said as he finished gelling his hair.

Chris, being the master of a quick primp, was finished within a few minutes and ‘NSync was on the road fifteen minutes later, once again.

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“Dude, WAKE UP! You gotta stop doing this, Man…” Chris was once again greeted by an oh-so-happy wake-up call. This time, though, it was accompanied by a ruthless whack up-side his head. Chris just glared at Justin as he took every ounce of energy he had to pick himself up and out of the limo.

‘NSync was on a break from touring, but they were still doing appearances and charity work. The activity on the agenda for the day was a trip to a local Florida children’s hospital to give the poor kids a little cheer.

He kept telling himself that it was all for a good cause…but he couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that all he wanted to do was be in his nice warm bed dreaming about that blond chick from that AWESOME dream he had had the night before.

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After being introduced to the hospital staff and a few nurses and doctors, the group started on a tour of one of the floors. They had gone past a few rooms with kids with broken legs and tonsillitis and the like, but nothing too serious. Chris went through the motions, signing autographs, and even bustin’ out a few lines of the new single…but he still couldn’t bring himself to wake up completely.

Finally, the group was about to leave, when Chris looked into one more room and saw the most adorable little girl in the world staring sadly at a small picture she held in her hand. He slipped away from the group, feeling a new sense of alertness hit him for some strange reason. He stood in the doorway of the young girl’s room for a few minutes, just looking at her. She looked like a little angel, actually…probably around nine or ten, with the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen and a mass of curly blond ringlets in a heap around her small face.

Finally, he found his voice and whispered a quiet “Hello…”

The girl’s head shot up with a surprised start. Her sad expression never changed, but she picked her arm out from underneath her blankets and gave a tiny wave.

He was about to walk in and strike up a conversation, when a nurse hurried into the room with an IV bag and a thermometer. He recognized her from an earlier introduction.

“Excuse me, Mr. Kirkpatrick. I have to change her bag and take her temp…the other guys are looking for you, actually. They said that the limo was leaving…” She said as she swiftly took the girl’s temperature and hung the new IV bag.

Chris thought for a moment. “Um, could you tell them I’d like to stay and chat for a little while? What’s this pretty young girl’s name, anyway?”

“Her name is Samantha…Sam, usually, though. But, I…” She started.

“No, don’t try to convince me to go with the others. I’m pissed at them anyway. I wanna stay with Sam for a little while.” He said, matter-of-factly.

“Well, but…” She stopped to think of a way to break the news to him, but then just gave up and smiled. “Enjoy, then…she’s not much of a conversationalist, but she does like to be sung to…and I suppose you’re pretty good at that, huh?”

“Yeah, I suppose…” He said, returning the smile. “Singing is one thing I CAN do…I guess…”

Laughing, he made his way up to her bed and sat down on the edge. “Hello again, Sam…we seem to have met before…”

Samantha’s expression never changed, but she waved again. She was about to put her hand back underneath the blanket when she reached out and cautiously touched his array of dreds.

Finally, her face broke into a massive smile as a small giggle emerged from her lips. Her entire face lit up with the newfound happiness.

“You like them, do ya? Yeah, I do kinda look like I have a giant spider on my head, though, huh?” He said, returning the giggle.

Sam nodded, but continued to finger them gently.

“I like them, though…” Came a small, hoarse voice after a few minutes of silence.

“Hey, now that’s a little better!! You were being all shy before, weren’t you?” Chris tickled her side as Samantha squirmed and squealed with delight. She nodded bashfully in response to Chris’s question.

The two continued on with small talk for a good hour, with Samantha still very shy in the beginning, but eventually coming out of her shell after a time. (Chris found out that she was actually a huge ‘NSync fan…and he was her favorite. ‘That’s why she was being so shy!’ He thought to himself. She didn’t have their CD, though…that was her one wish, and he promised to bring one to her some time.)

Finally, after the small talk filtered off, Chris took on a harder topic. He didn’t want to pry…but it was bothering him as to why she was so attached to the picture she was clinging to during their entire conversation. “Sam…who’s the lady in the picture? Is that your mommy?”

Her expression immediately changed; her head dropped and she clung the small picture to her chest protectively. Chris sat there, stunned. He hadn’t expected her reaction to be quite so severe.

“I’m sorry, Sam. Did I say something wrong?” He brushed some loose curls out of her eyes.

She shook her head slowly, and after a good few minutes of silence, she finally picked it up and looked at Chris. Her crystalline blue eyes were sad - almost icy. There was a look of hurt in them so deep that it made Chris’s stomach ache. “Yes…it is…” She whispered softly. “Mommy left me two years ago.”

Chris could hardly form the words, he was so moved by the poor girls sadness. “I…I’m sorry, Samantha. Did your parents get divorced?” He asked, not really wanting to pry, but wanting desperately to understand how a girl so young could have endured so much pain.

She closed her eyes, still clutching the picture to her bosom. Finally, after a single tear dropped out of her eye, she looked up at the ceiling. “No…she…she’s up there…” Her eyes searched the ceiling tiles, almost as if she was looking for a sign from her mom.

Chris wasn’t usually a crier…but he had to bite his lip to keep from breaking down. The poor child had lost her mother. Unfortunately, Chris knew the sadness of losing a parent at such a young age. He felt her pain to the utmost degree.

He tried to get her a little more up-beat. “But your daddy’s still there for you…isn’t he?” He asked cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

Immediately, Sam’s demeanor did a 360. She broke her gaze up at the ceiling and stared out of her window. There was a look of hatred in her eyes. She spoke quickly and harshly, with a caustic edge to her eyes. “My daddy’s what made me have to stay here…”

Chris couldn’t believe it. ‘Her father hurt her? What could he have done to put her in the HOSPITAL?!?’ He wanted to know, but drew the line at asking for details. Suddenly, though…Sam continued on - just as quickly and harshly as before, through gritted teeth and with clenched fists.

“He did this to me. He made me do bad things. He loved me a lot…at least he said he did. But…my daddy hurt me when he loved me. He hurt, Chris, he HURT ME! He said that he loved me…but I was too small…he was too big. Daddy…hurt when he loved me…”

Chris’s astonishment turned to rage. ‘He…he sexually abused her?’ He wanted to go after that bastard right then and there. Sam continued on, though, again to Chris’s surprise.

“He put things in me…I told him to stop, but he made me do it. I tried to make him stop the last time he tried…and he hit me with the dictionary. It hurt my head. Now the doctors say that my head is hurt bad. I’m scared, Chris. My head hurts a lot sometimes…” She slipped into a very childish manner at this point. She looked terrified as she finally turned her gaze back to Chris’s dumbfounded expression.

He didn’t know what to say to that! He could only think of one thing to do…he reached out his arms to her. She hesitated for a minute, still just staring at him. She was terrified to ever let another male touch her. Finally, though, she sat up in bed and wrapped her little arms around Chris’s waist. Chris had never held someone so close before in his life. Her tiny body was enveloped by his presence; he sheltered her within the confines of his own self.

“No one’s gonna hurt you anymore, Sam. No one’s EVER gonna hurt you. And your head is gonna be JUST fine. Don’t you worry…” He pulled her into his lap and she curled into a ball there. He wanted to cry so badly - but he had to be strong. He almost did start crying, though, when he realized the poor thing was trembling.

“I’m scared, Chrissy…” She mumbled into his chest. He held onto her even tighter and began rocking her. He wanted to cover her entire body with his own…so that no one could ever hurt the poor little angel anymore. She trembled, making his own heart ache to soothe her broken one. He remembered a lullaby that his mom used to sing to him. He muddled through the words, but it slowly soothed her trembling body.

When Chris had finally finished the song, he looked down and realized that Sam was fast asleep, her breathing slow and even into his chest. It was only then that he allowed himself to break down - to cry like a child for the pain she never should have had to endure.

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“KIRKPATRICK!!! Dude! What is WITH you lately?!? All you friggin’ do is sleep!” A hyper Justin dive-bombed his body onto Chris’s bed and woke him with start. Chris just rolled over after the initial shock and buried his head back under the pillow. Ever since that day with Sam…he hadn’t been the same. He couldn’t believe how much she had moved him. It had only been a week since he had met her, but he felt terribly about not seeing her. He had promised her that copy of their debut album…and he was planning on delivering it to her that afternoon.

Finally, after Chris realized that Justin was STILL there, he pulled out his head and looked him straight in the eyes. “Justin…just…I have some issues, OK? Just let me be…please…”

Justin’s expression turned serious. “Is everything OK, Dude? Are you all right?”

“Yeah, J…I’M fine…” He started. He then continued on to himself, though…‘I wish I could say the same for poor Sam…’

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Chris made his way into the hospital, clutching the autographed CD as well as a T-shirt, a hat, and a huge bouquet of spring flowers. He smiled at the nurse as he took a quick right into Samantha’s room. “Hey Saman…!” He started.

His jaw dropped and he whipped his head around in confusion. “Wh…where’s Samantha?!?” He asked to no one in particular. Just then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. The nurse that had come into Sam’s room that first day was standing behind him with a pained look in her eyes.

Chris’s chocolate eyes melted. “No…no, don’t say it…no, no, NO, NO!!” He threw the bouquet of flowers across the room as the anger/frustration and all around utter sadness welled up inside him.

“I’m sorry, Chris. Samantha passed on this morning…” The nurse grabbed Chris’s wrists to restrain him. He was hyperventilating, he was so beside himself.

After a few moments, he calmed himself enough to find his voice. “What happened?!? I thought she was doing so well!”

Her expression softened. “I know…she was…but you can never tell with head traumas. They can be fine one day, and then horrible the next. She had fluid in her brain…it got infected and started to swell. She went in for surgery this morning…and she didn’t make it through…I’m so sorry…”

Chris’s face crumbled into pathetic tears. “But…but I didn’t get to give her her present! I…I have a present for her!! I…I…I…oh, dear GOD, why do you do this to such innocent little things?!?” He turned around in circles, arms flailing madly again, dreds flopping up and down as he moved about the room.

He stood by the window now, and just stared outside, looking for answers in the courtyard outside. Then he thought about something…and he began softly: “She…the poor little angel didn’t even have anyone with her. She had to die alone…she must have been so scared.” Now the tears really poured forth, remembering how frightened she had been the day they met…and how terrified she must have been going into surgery.

“Actually, Chris…she wasn’t. Here…” The nurse left for a moment and then returned with a small note, written in an adult’s handwriting…it had obviously been transcribed. “She told me to give this to you if anything ever happened to her…I made up the wording and helped her out a little, but she told me exactly what she wanted in it…”

Chris’s heart melted as he took a seat on her bed and started reading.

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Dear Chris-
If you’re reading this now, it means that I’m gone. But don’t be sad…please. I want you to be happy…and the reason is you made ME happy. No one had done to for me before since I got here. You talked to me and made me feel so secure…I was able to open up to people for that week afterwards…and that felt so good. After meeting you, I knew it was okay to die because it was my one real dream to meet you. You’re my hero…you’re so funny, talented, and sweet. I knew it was just a matter of time before I died…I didn’t want to tell you, but I knew. I was scared before - to die and everything - but you made me feel so safe. Thanks for your time…it means more to me than you will ever know. I died happy…that is the greatest thing anyone could ever give. God Bless.
Love, Samantha
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Chris stared at the letter in shock. “That short time we spent together meant that much?” He said out loud.

“More than could ever fathom…”

Chris cleared some tears from his irritated, crimson eyes. “Huh?”

The nurse looked him straight in the eyes. “Samantha didn’t tell you the whole truth…” She let out a huge sigh. “She had been in this hospital not for three weeks…but for five years. You gave Samantha a gift that no one had been able to do before. You gave her the gift of happiness…the gift of your time…AND…the gift of speech…”

Chris looked at her, confused.

“See, Chris, we here at the hospital thought Sam was mute. She hadn’t spoken a word to anyone before you since she got here five years ago…and you brought her out of that shell and brought her the greatest gift of all…your love.”

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