mindtaker@juno.com
Also, I used the basic stereotypes for our boys- you know, Joey's hungry and horny, Justin's a whiny brat...the usual. I don't think the guys are really like this, but it just worked for the story.
Anyway, I also need to thank JeannieBean and all the others that are listed at the top, for helping me with the ending. Oh, and if there are any spelling or punctuation errors, that's just because my cat kept jumping on my lap while I was writing. Just to tell you, this is kind of slow at first, but it gets better, believe me! So read, and enjoy!
...LeClerc
Now, without further adieu…
"LOST *N SPACE!"
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Crog looked out the window of his quarters. He felt a childlike excitement when he heard a computer announce- "preparing to land in ifteen...fourteen...thirteen..." He couldn't believe it-he was actually going to Disney world.
After 20 years of hard work, he'd gone from nerf-herding, to "Second high-commander of earthling research; AND he had invented a device to get around the many problems with using AOL.
Now, he had finally been granted a week's vacation.
And on his way back, he would pick up a couple young humans to bring home for study purposes "Can't hurt to take care of a little work while I'm away!" he thought. If he did a good job, maybe in another 20 years he could visit the "Corn Palace" in Minnesota. (author's note-if you don't know what the "Corn Palace" is, well don't worry-you're not missing much.).
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One week later, it was time for Crog to go. He'd spent a good deal of his time touring Orlando, and observing the residents. There had been ten people on his list for potential abductee's, and he only needed five. "Let's see…Backstreet Boys, or 'N Sync? That must be the eternal question!"
He finally decided on 'N Sync, because, Heck-they needed the publicity!
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J.C awoke in a dark room, "Where am I?" He rubbed his eyes sleepily.
"You're on a spaceship…"
"A what?!"
"A apaceship."
"Why?"
"You've been abducted by a being superior in intelligence, skill, and strength. Any attempt to escape would be (*chuckle*) futile!"
J.C sighed, "All right Chris, very funny! Come on, we have to get to that radio station for an interview, and you're just wasting time with this…this stupidity!"
"I'm not Chris."
"Yeah, sure…"
"I told you-I'm a being superior in…"
"Oh shut up! …where's the light switch?"
"Um…right…here!"
The room filled with light. J.C looked up, and screamed.
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Meanwhile, Justin and Chris were having problems of their own…
"Hey Chris! Chris! Wake up man!"
Justin yelled at his older friend. He sighed, this was NOT good; he, unlike J.C, realized the danger they were in. It was pretty obvious-they were strapped to a couple of tables (wearing only "boxer-briefs", I might add…heh heh), and there was a giant laser pointed at Chris' forehead.
"Great, Chris'll get zapped, and then everyone will expect me to sing those freakin' high notes. No way- I know what they did to Chris for that…brrrrrrrr!"
He tried again, "Chris! The Backstreet Boys won a 'Grammy!"'
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
Chris awoke with a violent jerk.
"Hey! I'm not violent!"
Not you Justin, I meant, he tried to sit up fast. "Oh."
Any way, Chris awoke with a jerk. "Awww, be nice. He's still a teenager-moody, but not exactly…"
Chris, you heard my previous explanation, am I right?
"Yeah…"
You understand it? Good! (He's nodding). Then, on with the story…
Chris awoke, and screamed as he discovered the giant laser pointed at his head.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Ow! God, Chris! I said "Scream" not "Screech"!
"Sorry."
So he did the first thing that came to his mind-he tried to chew through the clasps that held him in place.
"OW! Arrrrrgh! (grunt)…That hurts! I just had my braces taken off, ya' know! I don't need any more dental work, thank you!"
So Justin attempted the same.
"Now wait just a minute, Mary!"
*sigh* What now?
"I can't afford to ruin these teeth! I have to show off this gorgeous smile!"
You guys are impossible! I try to help, and you aren't the least bit grateful! Well, I've had enough! You have to figure this out on your own!
"Hey wait! Don't…"
Slam!
"Go."
"What did she slam?"
"Beats me."
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Lance was in an open field. "There's something familiar about this place", he said as he walked along. The air felt warm, and smelled good. It smelled like…
"I'm home! I'm back in Mississippi!" Lance suddenly realized.
In the distance he heard a noise, "No, it couldn't be…" he ran towards it. Soon he could tell that it was the whinnying of a horse.
"Toby!" Lance cried as he ran towards his long lost friend.
They were finally reunited, Lance knew not how, but now he had his Toby back!
Crog watched from outside the dream chamber. He hadn't been able to try out this machine until now, and it was making him sick. "Sometimes," he thought, "I could go without knowing their innermost thoughts. Bleagh!"
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Meanwhile, Chris and Justin still struggle to escape…
"Now I'll never see Britney again, and Nick Carter will become the top teen heartthrob, and my Jheri-curls will go flat, and…"
"Oh shut the (censored for the kiddies) up Justin! You're giving me a (bleep) migraine!" Chris snapped.
Justin looked stunned for a moment, then continued crying.
"Where's Superman when you need him?" Chris sighed.
Funny he should ask-
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Crog had hooked Joey up to a thought-reading device. Strong clasps held him in place by the arms, legs, and a few other places where Joey needs restrictions.
Joey watched the alien carefully. It was dressed in a space suit (of course). The suit was made of some kind of metal he'd never seen before; at times it seemed to almost…flex. He tried to imagine what Crog must really look like under all the armor. But, this was almost impossible, since the shape of Crog's suit kept changing.
To put it roughly, the sight was really freaky, so now we know why J.C screamed earlier in this story.
Now, back to Joey…
"You cannot defeat me, vile villain!" Joey yelled in his best super hero voice. "For I am not a mere mortal as you have so foolishly Uh…what was I saying?"
Crog sighed, he could tell that this was going to be far worse than the Olsen twins incident.
"Just relax," he said to Joey, "I'm going to run a few tests, that's all."
He threw a switch, and the machine began humming. Lights blinked, spinny things spun, and all those other things, which you see in old cheap sci-fi flicks, came to life. Crog could tell that the human was impressed. Of course, we're talking about Joey, here…
"It is quite sad, don't you think?"
Quiet Crog! You're the bad guy. I'm the narrator. We aren't supposed to converse!
"I was just making an observation. You're very touchy today!"
So What if I am?
"Oh, no reason. I was just thinking that maybe if you didn't waste your time writing these ridiculous stories, and got out more, maybe you wouldn't be so sensitive!"
Oh yeah, right! You're just trying to get me away from the computer, so I won't be able to finish this story. Then, you won't have to worry about something bad happening to you!
"Oh, how bad could it be?! With your innocent little mind…"
"Um…Hey, Crog, Mary?"
"Yeah?"
What do you want?
"Could we get this story moving? These binders are making me chafe."
"Oh sure, right, bad guy stuff, gotcha!"
Okay…*ahem* Crog walked to a monitor on the other side of the room, and watched Joey's thoughts appear. The computer spoke in an irritating monotone, as it read out the list:
"Let's see…girls, food, girls, food, girls, girls, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, hair appointment next Wednesday, girls, food…"
Crog turned to face Joey; "don't you think about anything else?"
Joey shrugged, and looked at the monitor. The computer read: "aardvarks"
Crog didn't appreciate this, "Very funny. Har har." So the computer continued to read:
"food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, foo…"
It took a breath, "…d, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food…" It read faster and faster, the machine began to shake violently, switches flew off, and hit Crog.
"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!" he screamed, as the monitor blew up in his face. He was knocked unconscious, and all the equipment in the room shut down.
Joey's binders, which were held in place by computer, opened, and he was free to go.
"Ah man, that feels good!"
Come on Joey, you can scratch later, we have to find the others.
"(Sighs) all right."
So Joey set off down the hall, to rescue his four friends. The only thoughts on his mind were of concern. What other horrible tests had they been put through? (Actually, I'm just being nice, making him seem like a hero. What he was really thinking about were Miss September, and a chocolate éclair.)
"Hey!"
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Soon, Joey found J.C in some sort of cryogenic freezing chamber. He opened the hatch to it...Joey open the hatch. "Which button is it?"
Sigh, this is what you get for not showing up for rehearsals! It's the yellow button.
"Gee, get off my back! I was taking care of some business…"
At Taco Bell?
"Quiet. Um…yellow button…there!"
The pod opened, and J.C sat up, wiping frost out of his hair, "Man, I haven't slept this good since I first stopped living with Justin!"
Joey helped him out, "Come on, we have to find the others."
J.C followed to the door, which slid open automatically. Joey, stepped out, and stood waiting.
Come on J.C, we only have so much time before Crog wakes up!
He looked back, longingly, "I want one of those…"
WHAM!
"Aiiiieeeee!" The narrator got fed up, and kicked him out the door.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ They found Chris and Justin, still attached to the tables. Chris was shaking his so hard that it was bouncing up and down, towards the door. Justin remained in one place, crying.
Joey found the switch that released them, helped the guys find their clothes, and was off down the hall again.
"Wow, you'd think he was the hero of this story, or something." Justin mused.
You know what Justy? I think it might end up that way. God help us all!
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"Lance? Lance, are you in here? Oh, for the love of…" J.C laughed when he saw Lance who was still in the virtual reality dream-machine. He wasn't much help to Joey who struggled to disconnect the machine, as he couldn't stop giggling, and humming "Giddy Up".
"It was Toby! It was really him! We rode, and played just like old times…"
Chris and J.C dragged Lance down the hallway, as he went on about how in this world he had a horse, and his very own pet monkey!
Excuse for a minute, would you guys?
"Sure."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
There, I'm better. Oh Lance, stop pouting, it does't become you.
"Hey Joey, do you know which way we turn after this hallway?" Justin yelled from the back of their line.
"I think it's…right. We have to turn right."
No wait!
"Huh?" Joey stopped walking, and the other guys crashed into him. Before them stood Crog, still in full armor, but with a butterfly bandage on his head.
"So, thought you could escape me, hmmm? Well, unfortunately, your uprising has come to an end! We just docked at the home world. I hope you enjoyed the trip," He leaned closer, and pressed what could have been a nose against Joey's, it made a terrible squishing noise, "because it's the last time you'll ever be off this planet…alive!"
He cackled, J.C and Joey gasped, Lance fainted, Justin began crying again, Chris however, didn't look very intimidated.
"Oh please, what movie did you steal that from?" He yawned.
Crog growled, and reached out his arm (again it made that "squish" sound), and tweaked Chris' nose.
"Ow."
Chris looked upwards, "Wherever you are, Miss narrator, I'm gonna find you and…"
Crog slapped him, so he finally shut up.
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The boys of 'N Sync were all strapped to tables, in the middle of what looked like a giant amphitheater. They had been told that the entire home world (of which the name is impossible to pronounce in English,
unless you rip your tongue out, and stick it in your left ear) was there to see them. The light was bad, though, so they couldn't see what any of the beings looked like, they could only hear murmuring.
"Guys, " J.C said nervously, "Why do I get the feeling that they aren't here to see us sing?"
"I dunno, maybe it has something to do with the fact that Crog asked Lance if he's white or dark meat." Chris responded sarcastically. Then he frowned at Joey, whose stomach kept growling.
"Geez, I'm sorry, I haven't eaten since we left earth!"
Crog entered the building, dressed in a dark robe, and stood by the table which held Joey; the crowd cheered.
"Ladies, and gentlemen, and snorgz, I present to you the second biggest pop sensation on earth-'N Sync!" They cheered again, and Lance was sure he heard someone sharpening knives.
"Before we dissect them for science, and freeze the remains for Thanksgiving, let's turn on the house lights, so we can scare the crap outta them!" There was more cheering.
The lights came on, and Crog pulled back the hood on his robe. Joey's eyes widened, his stomach grumbled "J…j…Jell-oooooooooooooooo!"
Oh my…I can't believe what I'm seeing! These people are…Jell-O!
Joey leapt from the table, breaking off the metal clasps that held his arms and legs in place. Then what happened next, is something I'll struggle to describe.
He devoured the entire population. There were red ones, and green ones, and, o oh! There were even yellow ones (my favourite).
Pieces of the citizens flew all over. Joey ran back and forth through the stadium, swallowing some whole, just grabbing large chunks of others.
When it was all over, and the dust had settled, Joey released the others.
They got back on the spacecraft, and after Joey let out a satisfied belch, flew back to earth.
The End
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Copyright 1999 by it is I- LeClerc!/Crazy Fire Frog/Mind Taker/JeannieBean
Let Mary know what you think! Author's always appreciate feedback.
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mindtaker@juno.com