“Can I have your ticket please?”
“Here...”
“First theater on the right...enjoy your show. Thanks...second theater on your left...enjoy the show.”
An fifteen-ish boy was next. “Where’s the bathroom, freak?”
He cleared his throat and hung his head for a minute. Finally, he found his voice again and lifted his usual down-trodden face. “Go around the snack bar, and it’s the second door on your left. Can I have your ticket PLEASE?” He said caustically.
“Here, FREAK...” The boy thrust his ticket in the ticket man’s face.
“ENJOY your SHOW...” He said. The intent was for the phrase to be angry and emitted through gritted teeth; all that emerged was the familiar sadness he had been giving off ever since that fateful day in June...the day of the accident that changed his perfect life in a matter of seconds.
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‘I can’t believe I’m going to a movie by myself. This is so sad...’ Amy fumbled her ticket as she waited on line. ‘I’m friggin’ just gonna make it, too - ten minutes! And what’s worse about this whole thing - it’s a horror movie, too. I’m going to see a horror movie BY MYSELF...argh...’ Finally, she just laughed at herself and moved a few more inches to the front of the line.
She looked ahead and saw the ticket man.
He...APPEARED to be older - he had a scruffy beard and mustache - but she could tell he was young just by...by his eyes. There was something about those eyes that looked SO familiar...but she couldn’t yet place it. The poor thing looked that he had been in a some sort of an accident, though. He was in a wheelchair and his legs were rather thin - he probably had been paralyzed. Also, his right arm was quite scarred - it appeared to be from a burn or something. His cheek had a long scar on it, partially hidden by the sparse beard. There was something about his eyes, though...something that no amount of ratty clothes, baseball caps, or facial hair could hide.
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‘WHERE do I know him from? He is SO familiar...’ Amy stared at this handicapped man with an obviously questioning glare.
Finally, she got to the front of the line, and handed him her ticket. There was another young man standing next to him, obviously ready to take his spot - it was 7:00 - he probably was just finishing his shift.
She handed him her ticket with a pleasant smile. “Hello...” She said politely.
He looked a person in the eyes for the first time since the accident. It was the first time anyone had ever said anything NICE to him. “He-hello...” He stuttered out as he ripped her ticket. She could tell he was blushing, now, too. Even his VOICE was familiar...so deep...so beautiful...so sad...
“Enjoy the show,” He said slowly. She almost saw a grin come over his full, rosy lips - it looked as though that hadn’t happened to him in a really long time.
“Thank you...” She said, this time with a huge, genuine smile.
She walked away, still wondering who that sad, but so familiar presence belonged to.
She glanced back at him before stopping in the bathroom for a quick pit stop before the movie - he had turned his chair to look at her. When he realized that she saw him, though, he turned away quickly, and started to roll away towards the side. The young man that had been standing next to him took over.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Amy came out of the bathroom with a smile on her face - she just hoped he was still there. She couldn’t believe who she thought that face belonged to...she had no idea that anything like that could have happened to such a popular person. She knew that his band had broken up as a group a good year and a half ago, but she never knew why. Could it be? Could an ex-member of ‘NSync be working at her local movie theater? Probably not...but you never know.
She looked around and found him still in the same spot he had been in when she had entered the bathroom. She walked up to him slowly.
“Hello again...My name is Amy.” She said amiably, trying to incite some emotion from him.
“H-hi...” He kept his head down this time. ‘She is so pretty...I can’t look at her, I just can’t...’
Amy bent herself over in a comical attempt to look at his face directly. She actually got a little ‘hmph’ (CLOSE to a laugh!) out of him. Finally, he looked up - straight into her eyes. Immediately, now that she was so close to him, she knew who she was looking at.
“Lance...?” She whispered as a smile crept over her lips.
His dull green eyes grew a few shades brighter when she said his name. “You...you recognize me?”
She sat down on the bench next to his chair. “Yeah, I do. Lance Bass. Those eyes...you can NEVER hide those eyes. They’re just as amazing as when you were a part of ‘N...”
Instantaneously - the moment she began to talk about his past - his eyes clouded over again. He turned his head down. “Ummm, I have to go. It was nice meeting you...Good-bye. Oh, and you’re movie’s started, too...”
He took off the breaks and started to wheel away.
Amy stood up. “NO! Wait, Lance! Please come back...” She pleaded with him. “I’d like to talk to you...please...”
He stopped, mid-roll, but kept his back to her.
“Please?” She tried again.
Finally, he turned around and wheeled back to her. That sadness was completely back again. “Why? Why do you want to talk to me?” He asked almost coldly.
She was surprised at his harshness - it almost seemed as if he wouldn’t LET himself be happy. “I...I just want to talk to you...I used to...you were my, um...well, my favorite -in ‘NSync of course...I used to be - well, still am, I guess! - a huge fan of your talents - both as an individual and a group...I just think it’s kinda, well, it’s neat to finally get to meet you...”
He stared at her blankly. THAT word...that three letter word - so close to his heart - but yet so painful - fan. “Uh, umm...thanks, I guess...” His head was still down.
“Lance, can you please look at me again? Why? Why are you like this? You’re - this is so unlike you! Please...you obviously have something inside of you that you need to get out. Please...talk to me. It isn’t right that you keep this so bottled up.” She once again bent to look into those eyes that had captivated her so long ago.
He sighed and shook his head - but then he looked up with so much sadness in his eyes that it formed a knot the size of a small country in the pit of her stomach.
He started slowly. “I...do you really want to hear this? My pathetic sob story?”
She nodded slowly.
With a sigh, de went on to tell of an accident - an accident so horrible that he was lucky to be alive. He had nearly lost his life - he DID lose all control of his legs. He had lost a girlfriend - she left him for another guy and he was upset...so very upset that, after he had gone to see her and had gotten the news of her leaving, he had lost control of his truck on the way home and swerved off the road. There was everything bad possible in that accident - head trauma, lacerations, fire...and, the worst part was, he blamed himself. He claimed that it was all his fault that he ended up like he did.
“Amy, I’m pathetic. Now, excuse me, I really have to go...”
Amy had been moved nearly to tears, listening to the poor boy’s story. “Lance...wait - one more thing.”
He turned around bitterly, still kicking himself for opening up to a complete stranger. “What? What else could you possibly want, Ms. Psychiatrist.” The coldness was once again evident in his voice.
“Would you want to see a movie with me tonight? I already missed this first one...and I was alone, so I thought...”
His face crinkled to a confused stare - but that sparkle was back in his eyes. “You’d want...to be seen with a freak like me? No...no, I can’t...”
“Why not? Do you not like me? Am I annoying? Do I SMELL? And you are NOT a freak, might I add...” She knelt down and stared RIGHT into his eyes.
He was flustered...‘A date? I couldn’t possibly go on a date. Could I...?’ “No, it’s not that. I like you a lot...” He added quickly. He reddened as soon as he realized what words had come out of his mouth.
Amy smiled and touched his hand lightly. “Then please...come out on a date with me. I’d be honored...”
“I...I look like garbage. I haven’t shaved in months...and my clothes...”
“Let’s go...” She flipped off his breaks and started pushing him out of the theater. “What size do you wear?”
“Wh-what? A 34-33 pants and a large shirt...but why? What are you...?”
Amy didn’t say a word - just wheeled him towards Abercrombie & Fitch. “Don’t move...I’ll be right back.”
Lance couldn’t believe his eyes. “Uh, OK...” A smile crept over his face. He still wasn’t completely convinced, though. That nagging feeling that he just couldn’t do it just kept panging his empty heart. He hadn’t been with a girl since that fateful day in June...could he ever open himself again?
Amy emerged about ten minutes later with a large bag. She didn’t say another word - she just wheeled him out to her car and helped him in. He was able to shimmy himself over to the seat in her Honda. Putting his chair in her trunk without another word, she got in the driver’s seat and drove away quickly.
“Amy? What are we doing?” He asked slowly.
“We’re gettin’ you feeling good about yourself again...that’s what we’re doing.” She spoke no more and just pulled into a spot in front of her apartment. She helped him out once again and wheeled him into her (luckily) first story dwelling.
“Showered recently?” She asked with a smile.
“Yeah...THAT I do...” He said with a laugh. “I may not shave...but I don’t smell either.”
She took off his hat and saw the familiar spiky blond ‘do. “I see you’ve kept this up!”
“Yeah, I couldn’t bear to let it grow...I looked too much like a mass murderer, then.”
She laughed as she squirted some gel into her hands and smooshed up his hair.
“You...what are you...? You are too quick!” He looked happier than he had looked so far that night.
“I know, I’m good.” She winked and pinched his cheek. “Alrighty...we gotta get rid of this...stuff. There’s razors and shaving cream on the counter - here’s your clothes, there’s cologne in the bag...make yourself beautiful - that shouldn't be too tough.” Without another word, she wheeled him into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
Lance shook his head. ‘She is amazing...’ He thought to himself. The unfamiliar, but not COMPLETELY lost sense of ‘FEELING’ came over him in pleasurable, exciting waves. He shook his head as he pulled out a pair of baggy dark jeans, a red, green, yellow, and navy plaid shirt, and a sample bottle of Woods cologne. He slithered the clothes onto his unresponsive body, shaved himself up quickly and splashed some cologne on his pressure points. ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this...’ He thought as he wheeled out the door.
What greeted him was the most beautiful site he had seen. Amy stood in front of him in a casual knee-length gray skirt and a simple, but unbelievably sexy, blue turtle-neck sweater.
“I, uh...wow.” He stuttered.
“You too, Mr. Bass. You...you haven’t changed...” She bent down and kissed his cheek gently. He looked just as beautiful as he did two years ago. That sparkle in his eyes that had made her fall in love with him was back...and by the looks of it, it was there to stay.
“One more thing before we go...You probably know this song, ‘cause you’re a big Garth Brooks fan...but I think you should really listen to it. I know it’s hard...but you can do it, Lance Bass. I KNOW you can...”
As soon as the song started, Lance knew what she was trying to get through to him.
“I burned my hand, and I cut my face.
Debbie and Charlie said they’d be here by nine,
I’m gonna smile my best smile,
Little cafe, table for four
Debbie just whispered, “You’re doin’ fine...”
But I’m gonna smile my best smile,
Now here we are, beneath her porch light
And she just smiles her best smile,
The song ended and Amy winked at him. “You CAN do it...”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The movie theater was nearly empty. Amy wheeled Lance to the handicapped section and took the seat next to him. With a smile, she touched his unscarred hand. Sparks ran up his arm as her warm touch permeated his body.
The movie started soon after - a good ‘ol fashioned scary one. As it really started getting good and freaky, Amy grabbed Lance’s hand and cuddled herself up next to him to hide in the niche of his arm. As she moved forward, her lips brushed his cheek gently.
She felt him shudder slightly and then tense up...but a few moments later, he squeezed the hand he was holding gently. Amy cuddled a little closer to him and went on through the rest of the movie.
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“So, what did you think?” Lance asked her with a genuine smile as the credits rolled.
“You did just perfectly...” Amy said, returning that smile.
“I...uh, that’s not what I...but, tha...” He couldn’t continue. Amy had moved her face inches from his own - he could feel her warm breath on his upper lip.
“You can do it...” She whispered softly.
“I...I guess I can...” He closed his eyes moved in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was like a million bolts of electricity flowing through - rejuvenating - his tired body.
When they FINALLY pulled himself away from each other, he smiled once again. “That wasn’t so tough...” He laughed gently, but continued staring into her eyes.
“I like you, Lance Bass...I like you just how you are. I don’t care if you had one arm, three legs, and a breast growing out of your forehead. You are so sweet...so genuine...and you don’t deserve to be destined to hide behind this mask of ugliness and apathy. You have too much to offer this world...give yourself a chance.”
He sighed. “It’s hard...It’s SO hard to face myself. I did this to myself and...”
“DON’T keep thinking that way! Life happens, Lance...SHIT happens. But only the strong survive...only the strong can ever learn to live again. Be one of those strong, Lance Bass if not for you...do it for me. If you need an excuse, do it for me.”
He beamed as she kissed him again on the forehead. “All right...” He whispered softly. “I’ll do it for you...I’m learning to live again...for you.”
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Heaven knows how long it’s been
Since I’ve felt so out of place
Wondrin’ if I fit in.
And Deb said she might bring a friend.
Just my luck, they’re right on time...
Here I go again.
And I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style -
Look into her eyes and pray that she don’t see
That learning to live again is killing me.
But there’s just conversation for three.
I like the way she let me get the door
I wonder what she thinks of me.
And I wish that I felt the same.
She’s asked me to dance, now her hand’s in mine...
Oh, my God, I’ve forgotten her name.
And I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style -
Look into her eyes and pray that she don’t see
That learning to live again is killing me.
And I say what a great time it’s been.
A kiss on the cheek; a whisper good night
And I say, “Can I see you again?”
And she laughs like it’s going out of style -
Looks into my eyes and says, “We’ll see...”
Oh, this learning to live again is killing me.
God, this learning to live again...is killing me.”
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Contact me: the_dance_fanfic@hotmail.com
Thanks!