*catharsis by bloodshed*

i cut today
and i don't know why
little school bathroom stall
candy green on the floor
blood, red, on my leg
nine scratches with beads of blood emerging
they hurt and i don't know why
why i do it.
i cut and i'm in control
my pain goes away with a razor blade slice
so why not two or three?
ecstasy, no. this is not normal to society.
to me it is.
the sting is partly why, the blood is another reason.
catharsis by bloodshed
i cut today.
i don't know why.

june 1, 2000
by eileen