APPLICATION TO BE KINGSON MAN'S FRIEND

 

 

So you think you've got what it takes, huh? Start the lengthy of process of becoming my friend by filling out this application. Submit it via email to kupman99@hotmail.com with "friend application" in the subject line. Within 48 hours you will receive a reply and we'll schedule an interview. Good luck.

 

 

Part I: Personal Information

 

State your full legal name:

 

What would you like to be called?

 

Sex:

 

Date of Birth (mm/dd/yy):

 

5 words about yourself:

 

Possible career or professional plans:

 

What ethnic group do you identify yourself with?

 

 

Part II: Curiouser and Curiouser

 

Tell me why, in 200 words or less, a falling tree won't make a sound if no one is around to hear it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 more words about yourself:

 

What do you want to study in school?

 

Are you a weirdo?

 

Are you stupid?

 

You sure?

 

Why do you want to be my friend?

 

Why should I let you be my friend?

 

What did you get on your SAT's?   V______    M _______

 

Will you be famous?

 

What makes you happiest?

 

 

 

Part III: Very Personal Information

 

Are you a virgin?

 

Are you lying?

 

Do you... (check all that applies)

 

Smoke                                    Drink                           Smoke Up     

 

Act Stupid                              Scratch yourself when no one's looking     

 

Discriminate                          Think that this questionnaire is a joke

 

Do you believe in God?

 

Do you believe in an afterlife?

 

Have we ever met? (if no, skip the next 3 questions)

 

Am I one of the most depressing people you've ever met?

 

What was your first impression of me?

 

Compliment me:

 

 

 

Part IV- Trifles

 

What's your opinion of Natalie Portman?

 

Would you ever marry me? (if no or if male, skip the next question)

 

Would you allow me to keep pictures of Natalie Portman after we got married?

 

Tell me 3 things I'd probably hate about you if we were friends:

 

Favorite:   Book?

                  Movie?

                  Song?

                  Work of art?

 

Guess my favorite:    Movie Starlet:

                                    Book:

                                    Movie:

                                    Work of Art:

 

Are you, have you ever been, or suspect you may be paranoid schizophrenic?

 

Anything else?

 

 

My signature below indicates that all information in my application is complete, factually correct, and honestly presented.

 

 

Signature                                                                   Date and time:

 

 

 

 

That's it. Hope you enjoyed filling this out as much as I will enjoy reading it.