Open Your Eyes and It’s Gone
By Carter aka Colby
Summery: Nikolas’s veiw on Lucky’s death
Rating:Pg
Disclaimer:All charaters belong to abc TV. I’m only playing out my fantasies.
She opened her eyes. Once more she opened her eyes, pulling herself up from the black warmth his arms provided. She blinked, her mascara coated eye lashes sticking together keeping her eyes closed, letting the blackness pull her back. He shifted beside her, his arm around his waist. She stretched out her arm, out into space and open air then reaching for the bedside chair, her fingers reaching for something. She found it. Nikolas’s large white cotton shirt. She placed it in front of her on the covers, sitting up. She looked down at Nikolas’s sleeping face and smiled down at him. Thunder sounded somewhere. She slipped on his shirt, still warm after hours of being off of his body. She slowly shifted her body towards the edge of the bed, carefully to not wake up Nikolas. She placed her bare feet on the hardwood floors and stood, the shirt tumbling down from her waist to her knees. She looked back quickly at Nikolas. The floors creaked. he was still sleeping, exposed to the air by the twisted sheets, she tucked those twisted sheets around his shoulders, covering his body. “mmmmm, thanks Kat.....” He mumbled in his sleep and she smiled and looked down at him in the dark. Lightning tore the room apart. She impulsively bent down, brushed his hair off of his forehead and kissed it with cool bruised lips. She stood and walked to the balcony doors, covered in white gauze curtains which danced on the wind through the windows and diffused the Sunday morning sun light and let the moonlight twinkle with the stars. She slipped behind the curtains, pressing herself against the glass panes. She slipped her hand out onto the cool handle and turned it, pushing it outwards. The rain had stopped moments ago, waking her up. The lightning and thunder carrying on. The hot air was shocking to her as the doors opened and so she let it glide outwards and the warm air come into the air-conditioned house. Her leg stretched out and placed her foot onto the wet tiles which were warm. She stepped out of the doorway and onto the balcony, taking short quick steps to the edge. She grasped the wet railings and lifted her face to the cloud covered skies.
~~~
Nikolas reached across the bed for kathrines body. Instead of warm and flesh, he grasped cool sheets in his hands. His eyes opened and saw the sheets, barely tousled, barely saying that Kathrine spent the night in his arms and in his arms said that she’d stay with him that night, not leave him. He threw back the covers and lept out of bed calling her name. He was panicking now, alone and definite of her abandonment. He walked past the opened door where his eye was caught by a patch of white. He watched her, sitting on the floor, her legs dangling between the railings and swinging down. He stepped past the curtains and onto the balcony, the heat making him shiver. “Kathrine” he spoke softly and she turned around
“Nikolas, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. You need your sleep, I should have le-”
“Kathrine” He held out his hand and she took it, squeezing it and helped him sit down next to her. “How are you?” He turned to her and spoke softly
“I miss him Kathrine, I, I understand the fact that he’s gone and then the next minute I think about when I can go to New York to see him and then I remember, Lucky’s gone, he’s not going to tease me, not going to bore me with the latest plot twists of some show” He stopped and looked at their hand, their intertwined fingers and continued “It’s not even the big things that I think about, more the little things, like waiting for his call or that movie we were gonna go see. I mean, I was planning on asking him to sit Lu-Lu for me on Friday so we could go out to dinner. I miss him, my brother, I knew him for such a short time, we were cheated out of a life time together, we always said that we would have the rest of our lives and we didn’t. And now, it’s . . . What am I going to do without him Kat? Did I even tell him that I loved him? That I was glad he was my brother instead of someone else? And then I reached over and you were gone.”
“Nikolas” Kathrine placed her finger on his lips, silencing his words. “You are strong and you are loving and you will live your life, you’ll help Laura and Luke and Liz and when Lesley’s older, you’ll tell her about her big brother Lucky who loves her and is watching over her. Nikolas, you will know that you are a better person for have being loved by Lucky, being touched by him. Lucky knew you loved him, actions speak louder than words. You two were brothers in all senses of the word. He lived up to his name, he had a life filled with love from everyone who knew him. No one can ask for better.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek and hugged him so tightly that he felt that he wouldn’t let go. “Kathrine?” He spoke softly into her ear “Kathrine, promise me that you won’t leave me again”
“Again Nikolas? I was just out here”
“The ball, you left me and I , I didn’t want you to go. You left me that night and I loved you. Not again Kathrine, please. I love you.”
~~~
Laura sat up at the last three words. She had driven over an hour ago and just sat on the porch, unable to ring the doorbell. She had sat in the rain, lost in what it meant to outlive her child. Interrupted by the voices above her. “I love you too Nikolas. So much”
“Promise me you won’t-”
“Nikolas, I can’t do that, my life isn’t in my hands, but I can give you my heart and this, willingly, I will never ever leave you.” A pair of legs disappeared from view and she heard Kathrine help Nikolas up too, his legs disappearing from view too.
~~~
“Come inside , you’re shivering Nikolas.” She took his hands in hers and led him to his bed, his eyes shutting as she helped him into his bed like one leads a reluctant child. She tucked the covers around his shoulders . She kneeled at his side and stroked his hand until he fell asleep. She stood and crept to the door and out.
~~~
The door opened and startled her. “Laura” Kathrine stepped out and handed her a cup of coffee. “so that up there” Laura motioned upwards with her eyes “was for my benefit?”
“No, I love Nikolas. I didn’t see your car until we stood. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you are. I want to be alone” Kathrine understood and bowed her head and stepped back in. Moments later the sun poked through the clouds like fir-she shuddered. In a few hours, she’d have to leave, dress herself in black and...She wouldn’t think of the rest. She wrapped her two hands around the cup and raised it to her lips, taking a sip. That woman could not make a cup of coffee to save her life.
~~~
Kathrine slipped under the covers and turned her back to the sun coming up. She’d have to tell Nikolas sooner or later, not now. She tucked her body against Nikolas’s warm bare back and sighed.
-fini